technicolor psychedelic lost realities
kissing cats then and now stupid fantasties
hallucinating white and black invisible fairies
inspiration perspiration a little mushroom tea
falling listening monochromic shades or hues
mind bending red green jaded poets and ingenues

i feel drunk
when reading about drunks
looped
no bracement
i look up from the book
it's 6:45 a.m.
i'm in the hospital cafeteria
nearly time for work

in a stranger
     i clock a face
                     struggling to become a face
publicly
            she breakfasts
bent under a hood of hair
(she's not sure what expression
                     to let be witnessed )
i dodge her glance

overloom
the windows
make a massive jet mirror
          reaching the full ballroom height
a shield onto hard darkness
   protected from a primal cavity
the patrons are shied in its casting
a smudging forms at its base
   the horizon beeking
   an easing hint of winters sun

the glow is wanted
          but it brings nothing new to its display
still a hibernal wash
i don't hum with these morning frequencies
they can be beautiful
but i pitch sickly
and i suspect
the stranger girl is also no dawn spark either

combined effort
      moonlight, trees, autumn breeze
  form bobbing shadows
a humorous theatre
     mocks my solitary mood

i sit amongst the wreckage and her sisters
destruction watches as i run my fingers
along an old scar, opening a fresh wound

i ***** every finger on every edge i can find,
trying to find some semblance, some feeling
of what used to be

the dust only reminds me of
how long its been, yet no dust
has settled yet on my
mind

within my fingers, i clutch
a fragment, glossy and new,
another one of the hundreds
i've created, one that i am
finally bound to love

right?

love is the loneliest feeling in the world
it makes me feel lonely
it makes me sit at a coffee shop in agony
aware of the fast paced world around me
no matter how much i try to reach out
it will never be close enough
no one will ever be close enough
i am lonely in love
even being alone,
is better than being with a lover and feeling
totally, alone.