the worst part of having a bad day
is not being able to cry it out
the day has been complete ****
all you want is to scream and yell
but you don’t feel anything
you are numb
you can’t smile cause it takes too much energy
but you can’t cry either cause you don’t feel anything
you’re just paralyzed
your heart is aching
and you can’t breathe
can I please just to cry it out the next time?

*(s.m)

everything hurts
i can’t seem to find the reason
just wanna scream my lungs out
i need someone to lean on
someone to depend on
i need a hug
but yet i just wanna be alone
away from everyone
it feels like i’m about to break into a million pieces

*(s.m)

Im like a dog chasing cars,
I'll never know what to do with it when i caught up with one.

Anxiety
A ball of prickling fire tearing beneath my sternum.
Fear
A bolt of electric ripping through my veins.
Depression
A cloud so thick is suffocates my soul.
Anorexia
Starving the outside from within.
Bulimia
Inhaling the world and purging it back.
Failure
Being crushed by society for all of the above .....

And still wondering why oh why is it me???

Why?

What is it to purge?
Why do people suffer
Purging makes me numb
It takes many forms
Emotional pain
Physical pain
The lesser me
Would purge sustenance
I purge differently now
I purge words
Like the ones on this page
I purge my feelings
All up and down the paper
Less damage to my body
Nourishing my soul
This is how I purge now

"I ******* hate myself."
"Constantly there's a voice telling me: you're not skinny enough."
"I want to be skinnier."

Collarbones, jutting out,
protruding spines,
hipbones that could cut diamonds.

Purposeful, not biological.
Young girls, skipping meals
to be considered "beautiful,"
but at what cost?

My stomach turns as I scroll.
To think,
one year ago,
that was me.

Starving is not beautiful.
Purging is not beautiful.
Loving yourself is.