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Mar 2018 · 515
Bus and Coffee
Josh Mar 2018
I went up to the counter again and the man in the red tie smiled.
“Another refill?”
Uh…yeah…yeah, another refill.

Why hasn’t that bus come?

“9 Sugars and 2 creams, right?”
Yes, uh what time is it?
“10:21”

Why isn’t the bus here yet?

I’ll take another burger. No onions extra pickles.
NO ONIONS Please.
Thank you.
What time is it?
“10:25”

Where is that bus?
It still isn’t here.

“Hello again.” Another coffee
I place the change on the counter.

There goes the dirt from my hands again.

I’m sorry, let me clean that up.
I wipe it off and more flakes come off.

“Sir, would you like another refill?”
Yes, I would. 9 sugars no cream this time.
Oh, and another burger make sure NO ONIONS.

Can you give me the time?
“It is 10:40”

I think I missed it. What day is it?
It hasn’t passed by for a while now.

Excuse me, sir.
Can you spare some change it is Christmas you know?

I’ll have a tea and another coffee.
“Refill sir?” Yes, just black.
“It’s 10:50 just so you know.”
They’re about to close. Where is that bus? Do they run today?!
Poor homelessness coffee bus experience
Mar 2018 · 466
Curse for the Poor
Josh Mar 2018
To become poor
be miserable.
Chuck your shoes
into the ocean and feel
the sand in your toes.

Throw your last few sapphires
rings and ruby necklaces into
the murky green water and let them drift
away from your mind so someone
else can find them.

Give all your money to a charity
any charity
And just like that,
walk away.

Live in the streets
where rats are the size of racquetballs,
the flies are your leaders to food.
Thrive in a cardboard box that’s taped up
And covered by a tarp.

Listen to the croaks and groans
of your cardboard box as it snows
simply because you have nothing else but cold

Do this and I'll guarantee that you'll be poor.
I'll guarantee that you'll stink in writhing wrinkling clothing
and if you ever happen to be loaded again
extend your hand whether real or monetary
to those you friended in the ally. Show them
that you have the curse that gives hope.
Nov 2015 · 724
Sleep
Josh Nov 2015
Did I ever tell you why I sleep?
I do it to pass the time between sights of you.
Every time I see you I get so tired that I have to sleep.
I call the sights of you “visits” because it feels like I’m visiting
family and I’ve stayed too long or seen their face too much.

I sleep because I’m bored
I sleep because I dream of better things.
I watch movies, TV shows, anime, and cartoons
(No, they aren’t the same)
Because to me, I love the stories that they tell.
I love to see the characters grow as people.
I love to get lost in the dreams and
chances they have between themselves.
The way people grow close and feel lonely.

It just helps.
It helps alleviate the pang
within my own head.
The pang that I don’t want to admit I have.
I’m lonely too.
I miss you between our “visits” and
Just when I want to see you again, miss you
and think I’ve finally found a kindred spirit
I get hurt by everything you say.
I can’t do a **** thing right.
So I sleep.
Because at least then I am not doing anything
but dreaming of more stories to tell.
I’m gathering things up
from these shows and dreams because
Why?
Tsk. I don’t know.
Maybe to fill up my mind with useless junk
so I feel better about myself
to feel not so useless.

The cat sleeps with me you know.
Just curls up beside me and we bond with sleep.
We meet in our dreams
in a way that sometimes I wish you and I would.
But here I am sleeping
having dreams about a spring on a mountain
that trickles slowly down into a waterfall
and here you are having another night terror.
Another clown has chased you down
or a manager from work has scolded you.
And sometimes I secretly think you think
you deserve having these nightmares.

You know, all this aside,
I still love you.
Not because of the way you look
Or what you do or don’t do to me
But because you keep me in check.
Make me a better person and that’s
Who I want to be. You are the old soul
That has been through many lifetimes
And I’m the newly minted soul curious and
Trusting all things.

We’re opposites.
I sleep.
You’re awake.
I dream.
You have nightmares.
I watch TV.
And you read enough for the both of us.
I hope this isn’t one of the things you read.
But if it is.
I love you
I always will.
Forever.
May 2014 · 705
Pen Story
Josh May 2014
Pen, write me a story.
Tell me about the one
where the princess gets caught
by an evil monster
and an Italian plumber
becomes her true prince.

Tell me! Tell me or better yet
write me novels and novelas
full of words worshipping
each other
in ballads of the single
soldier who marched into war
and found love at the end of March.

Describe to me the tragedy
of the long lost stories
of those who couldn't
write their stories down
because their adventures
ended prematurely by
their death or the death
of their authors.

Read me bedtime
stories, Pen! A Once Upon a time
where a dragon captured a girl
just so that he could writhe
twist and roll in his mounds
of stolen gold.

Pen tell me a joke!
Make me laugh. Make
it a long one full of
details but make it flow,
sort of like a pen in
stand-up comedy.

Show me a better world
where the leaves
linger to their Autumn colors
of yellow, reds, browns,
and everything in between
including green.

Alas, tell me pen.
A poem.
Keep it sweet.
Keep it slow.
Keep it full
of whispering words
that curve into the very
depths of where flesh meets
the soul. Please pen just one.
May 2014 · 3.2k
Warmth
Josh May 2014
Show me your fiery
yellows, blues, greens
and orange. Reveal
to me your layers
reaching for my fingers
as they trace circles
on your skin.

I need your warmth.
I need to taste it.
I need to have it.

Show me your beautiful
burning eyes and make me
shiver with your heat.
Let it radiate off your skin
and into my own.

I need your warmth.
I need to rub it.
I need it to be mine.

Show me! I beg you
on my hands and knees
as I send sweet caresses
down your outline. Show me
the meaning of a
flaming arrow and how
the pain will hurt and
the only relief will be
your warmth.
May 2014 · 1.8k
Cuddle Chronicle
Josh May 2014
Tell me a story Cuddlekins!
Rawr. Rawr. Grr. Rawr.
Rawr. Grr grr RAWR!!
Wow! That's a good story.
Now let me tell you
one. A story of a boy
who was so afraid of
being alone he put himself
in the most amazing adventures.

Imagine a beautiful forest
in the middle of nowhere.
Untouched. Unmutilated with.
Un-everything. This boy,
John, flew here and
laid his case down
and pulled out his violin.

His music went.
Dah. Dah. Lalalala. Doooo.
Soft. Sweet. Charming with
a twist of a faint memory
on the tip of your tongue
wanting to be known to
the world.

As he played on and on
for hours the animals
gathered around and fell
to sleep. John
inspired by his surroundings
played more and more
until there was a rustle in
the distance.

John didn't hear it
but again and again
the rustle of the leaves
grew ever closer still.

There was one animal
who wasn't sitting at
the clearing in the forest.
It was the jaguar. He awoke
and wondered
where everybody went.
They were no where to be found
As he searched for his
friends a scent caught in
his nose. It smelled of
food but an unfamiliar one.
The long lost forgotten food
that his ancestors once described.

He chased it slowly
turning every corner
hiding behind branches,
bushes, and bark.

Finally he found his prey.
He creeped slowly
and attacked.

All the animals could
say was that 'ol jagy was
at it again just a hungry
beast. Not sophisticated
or classy enough to
understand music.

You know Cuddlekins, I think
it was on that day the rest
of the animals discovered
'ol Jagy was deaf.
Apr 2013 · 1.4k
Nostalgic Bunny
Josh Apr 2013
I stared at you in that cage
and our eyes met. I imagined a world with you.
We had as much fun as young pups growling
at each other playfully.

You were a super nova in my life,
lighting the path before me. That was
all until your light finally faded away
like it was always meant to be.

A normal day like any other.
I went to school.
Came home.
The news delivered to me on my arrival
changed this normal day into a scar.
I went to school.
Came home.
Chased the dumb mutt with a broken mop stick.
Ran screaming and crying to a now empty room.

I wanted you back.
You were gone.
Vanished away like the carrots
you used to eat.
Crunch
Crunch
Crunch
The carrot was suddenly gone.

Memories came flooding back
as I banged against my bed thrashing,  
crying, PAWS, DON'T LEAVE ME!!
Screams turned into quiet whispers.
please, don't go...

It was finally the memory of
your moist nose touching mine
and your grey fur against my skin
that brought me back to reality.
You were gone and
I couldn't change that.

At least I had one thing that
will help me remember you
forever. The holes in my shirt.
A shirt that now sits folded neatly,
in the back of my sock drawer.
Apr 2013 · 623
Different Eyes
Josh Apr 2013
I see this world with different eyes.
Brown eyes that peer through lenses
revealing tears, colors, and even
smells that cling to clothes.

These eyes see the tears on
people's faces. They see the
looks they can't describe
with lips pursed and
eyebrows furrowed down
creating a "v".
Water leaving its trail down to their
lips as it streams constantly.

These eyes don't see a bowl.
They see a blue bowl
that upon closer inspection
I can see the tiniest of chips
and the reflection of a window
that shows the blue sky of a
sun rising against the trees.

These eyes see the smells
that cling to people's clothes.
They worth as the steam floats
and finds itself on the server's
apron and pierce my eyes as they
well up and gather tears from
left-over onion smell and an
embrace lasting two seconds too long.

You see, these eyes cannot only see
but they can smell, hear, touch,
and taste a world where I
see the frowns behind the smiles,
reflections from empty bowls, steam
coming from hot food.
Mar 2013 · 1.2k
Whisper
Josh Mar 2013
I hear the whispers.
Whispers of the poets
whose names I'll never remember
because all I see are the whispers
of their pens scratching the paper.
Sweetly caressing the lines
of a page so fragile
that only in numbers
it can find strength

Crashing whispers
upon your face leaving
a hand print of a slap
you had long forgotten
only to be remembered by
the warmth of a throbbing cheek.

Surfacing whispers
from the depths
of your dreams. Dreams
you lost in consciousness
of forest with leaves
that glow and where all
around the world the
falling tree is cheered on endlessly.

Unspeakable whispers
that tell you to keep writing
through the walls
in which your mind is ******
into an impasse that's impossible
yet your pen still finds its page.

Piercing whispers
that go into the very depths
of your lungs
suffocating you from
voicing but even that
won't stop your pen
because you use your hands
to speak in signs
of concepts where getting
to the point faster is a game.

Tearing, shredding whispers that
draw their swords and
scream at you to write,
to make your pen
flow like the waters
of the machines that make
the single torn page you write on
faint and stay flat.
Aug 2012 · 784
Chocolate Quickie
Josh Aug 2012
Eating. Nibbling.
A thousand times over.
On your succulent moisture
as you Drip. Drip. Drip.

I see you lying there
on glass ready
to be licked clean.
Drained of life you
will be.

I never wanted you
so I don't care
that John is enjoying you're
company now. We didn't play
as little five year old version of ourselves
at the local playground now rusted.

Not that I care but I hope
John enjoys your chocolate chips.
I hope he dunks you in milk
and smashes you with his teeth.
Mar 2012 · 695
Forgetting You
Josh Mar 2012
I will not forget the feel
of your lips as they swim
across mine,
your skin's sweet taste
as you sweat and pant away,
or the topaz in your eyes,
the galaxies in mine.
Jan 2012 · 862
Frustration
Josh Jan 2012
Here and now let my hope

become the setting sun.

Here and now let my heart

become hummingbird's wings.

Let my hope flutter into

the dark nothingness that is

the pitch blackness of eyes closed.

Let my heart just fly

so far away that a gaping

hole is left in my chest.

Let that pain fuel my every

fingerstroke as I say with my

every being.

I love you.

I love you.

I will always love you.

I will cherish you

and always call you mine.

I will remember the times

we kissed so softly that it seemed

as though you quenched my thirst.

Also I will remember the times

that so many nights I lay awake

listening to you soft breaths as

I watched your chest slowly fall

and rise again and with every rise

and fall a new day began and another

day ended. Let it be known that

I feel hands around my throat as

tears threaten to storm and thunder

down my face. Let it be known that

I fought the war of many ages of those

of angels and demons. Let it be KNOWN

that I tried to rope that moon and

give it to you. Every cell moves. Every

chill makes me shiver. Every whisper

makes my eyes widen because I hear you

speak in your  dreams your true desires

and they are not me. They are

of someone else. Someone who has

always been patiently waiting, watching,

willing for you to just say yes.
Dec 2011 · 874
Anybody out there
Josh Dec 2011
Is anybody out there
anyone at all...

lines from a movie
so long ago.

lonely suffering painful
lines that have just a tad
of hope yet the sting of
regret all mixed into one pie.

Speaking of pies, a nice
cherry-apple pie would
be perfect to be able to
get these lines.

Perhaps I just don't
know what I speak
of. My language seems
weak and of course dull...

what happens to me
when no one listens
as i flow the icy blue
waters of the sea...

I want to know
is anybody out there
anyone at all?
please.
Dec 2011 · 950
One for one
Josh Dec 2011
Slowly approaching
flames dancing along
the path I wander.
A carpet under the
feet. Squish. Squish.

I could not see all
my anguish in its
entirety until I walked
the path to the hooded
fellow. Horrifying, subtle
with lips so seducing. A
gaping bleeding wound
as her mouth spoke
no words yet agape.

Alas! There she laid
upon my feet frozen
in a smile I'll never
forget even while
suffering the circles
of Hades. It'll be my
own little personal ring
of fire that I bought when
I made a deal with a
dark hooded figure.

Fingers scrawny
face non-existent
robed magnificently
enough to scare
your dead soul out.
Took only four
words to put me walkin'
down the flaming crimson

Take mine NOT hers
Her frozen face
animated
Her wounded body
healed
Her lovely eyes
open
filled with green confusion
Goodbye my sweet.
Enjoy. My gift to you.


Squish. Squish.
Chains
slid against the carpet
making crooked lines
and cuts upon it.
Every motion dealt
enough pain to numb
everything until I was
no more.
Dec 2011 · 924
To a house...
Josh Dec 2011
TO the house that once was
a mansion that towered
above all the rest
I beg of thee to house
my family and myself.

Let you walls be
the arms that
hold us
closer

Let your roof come
up above us
shield us
always

Don't let down your shield
or the warriors
thunder and lighting
shall have their way with us

Don't let your shingles
lose their compactness
for fear that the hail
will come along to play.

Please Please House
I beg of thee today
keep this family
safe
dry
warm.
Dec 2011 · 671
Seasons
Josh Dec 2011
Seasons go by and leaves change color
Lime, maroon, golden, brown, black
And there are suddenly no leaves.
Time passes and every waking moment I think
of the one guy that makes my day
he may be off on a business trip somewhere
but to my heart he is right next to me
staring into the sky where there are many stars
and I come out of this fantasy to wonder
If he sees these same stars
Does he see the full moon hidden behind the clouds?
Does he dream of the day he is back holding me in his arms?
Do I appear in his sporadic thoughts
as he stares at his cup of coffee in the morning?
Only time will tell if he’ll ever return.
He Is my strong evergreen pine,
my gentle snowfall.
Dec 2011 · 488
Boom
Josh Dec 2011
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The door goes….

When the darkness engulfs  you and you can’t  find a way out  because you’re full of doubt…

The door  that you can’t see or touch because of the lack of light…

It is in these times that one must look in the light of their life…

The people who love, who care, the ones that are true…

The thoughts wondering in swirls around my head have, been ones of ruffled hair..

Of memories and times that they’ve been there…

The one thought that comes to my head…

The ones of you, and the times we played…

It is the times we played that we grew to know each other…

And with that thought the darkness was all gone…

It was our spark that made us go right out that dark door..

A spark that I feel will last an eternity and forever…
Dec 2011 · 746
Cherishable
Josh Dec 2011
My lover pushes me away with the belief that I don’t know….

I wonder why it has to be this way but I move along for their sake…

Oh but to move along is so difficult because I cant comprehend their actions…

I plead and hope to understand but I still cant comprehend….

All I need to know is that they know I trust them with all my heart…

And will never fail them no matter what comes this way…

But what comes this way is danger and warning signs that my heart will be broken…

But I continue despite the danger for I will always be there no matter the price…

Even though the price may cost the ultimate risk…

I will stand by their side because that’s who I am, that’s what I promised…

And my promises I will never break for if I do I will lose the person I am….

And that is not a risk worth taking, to lose yourself over something so small…

But logic is beyond my keeping promise for now that is all I hold on to…

It is all I know, for now I will focus only to fulfill my side….

For I know now that what’s to come can never really be in a fortune…

Its in all the little things that make us up….

The laughs, the smiles, the kisses and the hugs that’s what makes us….

Life’s little moments that make it worth living…

Just to know that they’re there for me is but one of the many blessings….

I cherish them for eternity and forever, as long as the meaning may last…
Dec 2011 · 497
Memory
Josh Dec 2011
Treasuring the path before me as i walk

makes all the pain feel all the less.

Meeting new faces and going new places

makes all the pain feel all the less.

Allowing my mind to wander around solo

makes all the pain feel all the lees.

The sunrise i stare at makes me find hope

The Moon as i gaze across the ocean reminds me

of her beauty. It takes me across the entire galaxy

and makes me feel all the better.

It makes me feel alive and not confused.

It reminds me that I too feel and am

allowed to shed a tear or two.

The memories float along as i try to

forgive and forget and as i finally push them down

away for all eternity i shed one final tear as the

chapter ends in sadness that is only understood

to be true happiness.
Josh Dec 2011
Roses have thorns like the pain in my heart…
But they have soft petals like the light that comes in through the window in the early morning…
The blood red color of the petals fills my heart with blue blood cells needing replenishment…
But the soft feel reminds me of the time I caught her eyes and she caught mine….
The thought of falling again brings the bittersweet memories to my mind in a whirlwind of petals floating across the sky….
As I spin with the petals I think of the times I held you close and landed a gentle kiss on your forehead…
And the time I felt my face burn after the words of snakes slipped from my tongue…
The fluttering petals swallow me with the light feeling of love…
This light feeling brings me in a full circle again and I feel like I’m going to be sick…
And then it passes as the crimson petals continue on their way to another couple…
To create moments full of despair and sadness for those who have betrayed the other like…
The thorns on a rose who betray the beauty of the thing….
Dec 2011 · 785
Heart Chapter
Josh Dec 2011
He wander in the middle of the road with rain and wind in his face

With the hope that the next though isn’t suicidal.

He thinks and walks and thinks and walks.

He tries to see a way out of this endless circle but he can’t think of a way out.

This scar is one only time will heal

and yet Another chapter has gone and passed and

yet he refused to listen to the Morals it presented him.

It’s a never ending story and now he is ready for The next chapter.

The one that will conclude this book….

This new chapter begins with erasing her from my memory.

Going back To the way it once was.

Living in ignorance once again.

Back when it once

Was simple and when he didn’t force himself to be different.

Even as far back As adolescent even elementary.

For now he will bid farewell to the memories

Of a chapter long ago ended and

when one day he’s healed with the passing of time

he will live with her as a friend.

As for the time being he is but a stranger

That was in her life and tried to take her heart.
Dec 2011 · 1.0k
Cloudy Hatred
Josh Dec 2011
My hatred is a cloud,

Dark, filled with anticipation.

Laying on the grass the clouds

become bunnies and bows.

Some stretch like cotton candy

and some like taffy



A thunder in the distance

I hear.

An illumination of lighting

I see.

A scream of serpent fires

I speak.



Words become muffled

behind my tears.

Slowly tearing apart

all that I am.

No longer will I take

what my father has done.



The hatred moves across the sky.

Disappearing in a wisp of smoke.

Blending to the color of the heavens.

Into the clouds it drifts

becoming one.



Moisture I feel

as i wipe my face

free of burden.

The clouds

released my hatred

through their tears.



The cloud knows as it

empowers my strength

to make me invincible that

I walk and push away

my father

to stop

him from harming

my sister and mother.



The clouds bunch together

in a dark charcoal storm

fueling my rage

making me a red cloud.

Alone.



My teeth become unknown

as they gnaw and tear

at flesh. My hatred

is a cloud.

It is scaly.

Black eyes it has

with claws that reach.

I am me no longer.



A wondering thought

of morality glides

and makes the red cloud

disappear. White

puffy bunny tails

and cotton candy

is what i see as lay

here in the grass thinking

about the day my mother,

sister and I drifted away

from my father.
Dec 2011 · 1.2k
Living Jungle
Josh Dec 2011
Rocking back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and forth

In the endless spiral

Of the jungle.



I know I’ve disappointed;

My sweetest love.

I know I am wrong:

About kicking you.

I know I am right

About asking for

Your forgiveness.



With my touch

You used to feel

Static.

With my touch

You now flinch

Away.



With my laugh

You used to smile

Brightly.

With my laugh

You now frown

Painfully.



Hatred and disgust.

Look at what I’ve become:

A scaly black eyed

No good rotten

Monster; I really

Didn’t mean it.



I promised I’d leave

Into the depths

Of the jungle.

Where there are

Scarier things than me.

The growls and snarls

Put me right where

I belong; without you.



I promised I wouldn’t

Leave again; Yet

Here I stand,

Alone.

Surrounded,

By the same monsters

You fear came out

Of me.



Inside of my soul

I search.

The jungle inside

Is as vast as the one

I wander in right now.

Inside a storm brews; but

Before I crash,

Silence.

Before I burn.

More silence.

Before I suffer.

Silence yet again.



Lose. Lost. Suffer.

Lose what?

Your trust.

Lost where?

Inside.

Suffer from?

Your distance.



O how I’ll lose you

Slowly and subtly.

O how I’ll seem lost

in the jungle of the mind!

O how I’ll suffer

from a fate without you!



Ever so afraid

I flinch.

A beast

That was hidden

Behind that massive rock

Came forth: sliced at my skin,

Tearing flesh and bone.



I need you.

I want you.

I kicked you.

I love you.



I can hear it now

Within the oaks,

Mahoganies, and figs

Inside: you tell me

“No, I hit you first.

It’s not your fault.”



Moments pass by

And I say

“Look at me”

You turn away…

“Please, look at me”

and you slowly turn.



Staring at your eyes

I think about

The sun that

rises with your smile;

the stars that

sparkle brilliantly;

my heart that

beats like hummingbird’s wings;



Slowly I speak cautiously

As you begin to turn away.

“Don’t turn away.

It’s my own fault

and mine alone.”

And I hear no more

From the trees



I look up only

to see you standing

there looking at me.

With tearful eyes

And a love that

consumes the jungle.



I see you there

Bearing the weight

Of the tall, soaring

Oaks, mahoganies, figs.

The burden of our love

Is on your shoulders.



No longer afraid.

Of being so alone.

Of being yelled at.

Of being you.

I walk towards you

And help you with

The burden for

the rest of your life.
Dec 2011 · 626
Go(o)d Friday
Josh Dec 2011
I hear tale

of a man

courageous

loving and simple.

He died one day.



For what you ask?

well I'm going to

tell you about this

man before the talel.



He was born in

a manger. Since

birth he was to

be named king.

Not king of the

land and not the

richest in material

things but king

of the kingdom

of heaven.



Jesus Christ

was his name

and today we nailed

him to a cross.

He bled for me

and you. Every drop

for every sin and

every wrong thing

you have done.



He was brutally

tortured, whipped,

smacked, chained,

carried a cross down

the road to Calgary.



Filled nothing but

passion of

forgiveness is

what willed a

mortal man to

open the gates

to heaven.



He was even

tempted for

40 days

and 40 nights.

by the serpent

liar. There he

proved he was

the son of God.



It is even

with his last

words that he

forgave us for

killing him.



Today take a

second and reflect

and know that

a man named

Jesus Christ

died for you.
Dec 2011 · 522
Complete Again
Josh Dec 2011
It lures me

with its melody.

A craving i feel

to push its valves.

Slowly, sweetly

with a soft caress.



I want it to touch

my lips. Let the

warm moisture

help me soar

into another war.



Let my emotions

get the best of me.

As I stand in tears

not my own.



I want it to vibrate

and send a chill through

people's minds as they

hear me play.



People will bow before

a trumpet master. Alas!

Behold a true complete

being. One who knows

all and has many a

variations in his repertoire.
Dec 2011 · 562
Thoughts?
Josh Dec 2011
These thoughts and fears

won't come out.

these thoughts and fears

struggle and wage war on each other.



I watch and wonder

as the charcoal sky prepares

for the approaching battle

against the sun,

its mortal enemy.



Pulling me back and forth

sunshine and smiles

versus the rain that hides

my tears. In sweet sorrow

i obtain a new emotion.



"What is it?" one may ask,

but not even i know

the answer. Behind

a mask I hide, a privilege

only everyone shares.



"Why is it then," i begin to

wonder, "that everyone can

see right through these eyes?"

These eyes that pierce through

everyone's mask have now betrayed

in the battle like a knife that traveled

through my spine and heart.



The storm clouds are winning

more battles. I can only hope now

that the sun is fighting above where

the clouds can reach. Slowly peeking

through the clouds creating a spotlight

on the sun's chosen warriors on earth.



A tree here, a blade of grass there, even

man's own asphalt becomes a tool.

Breaking through brighter than ever

I see the sun shining

and hold on to it I will forevermore.
Dec 2011 · 938
Ocean Question
Josh Dec 2011
I stand still to think one day

"Am I dreaming?"

This question irks

my illuminant soul.



Quickly, I pinch myself

I feel no pain,

no sorrow, no joy.

An emptiness consumes me.



In the depths of mind

I wander around

slowing creating a

world which does not exist.



A world full of chaos

and peace. In a flow

the ocean crashes

against the giant skies.



My world is unstable

unending unbearable

to those who enter the

caves of my mind.



Wandering wishless

in a world of my creation

I put this question forth to you

"Are you sure you're awake?"
Dec 2011 · 866
Dreaming Moon
Josh Dec 2011
One day I fell to sleep in the arms of the one that loves me so

I stared wide-eyeed into the window of my dreams only to see a memory

I felt the fire burning inside my chest, a fire I have not felt in a thousand years

I know that this time I will not make fall into that trap of what once was

as I slowly hope that I'm foolish and do

Shivers shoot slowly across my spine and overwhelm me

a chill like one I've craved the most

I feel every single prickle as it warms my mind and my heart that whispers

a million memories of who I once was and what I have lost.

These memories reminding me of a melancholy times.

My dream shifts and suddenly I'm living in a world I thought I could not find again

I stare more into window of my dreams knowing I will crave that heat and warmth

of a fast beating heart and jumping stomach.

I cry and scream for a time with some peace even if only one flap of a butterfly's wings.

I cry harder even though I know to be only just a dream

but at least in this dream I live an unfulfilled love one that I wish I still had.

I peel the layers and jump right back

I feel so unmoving as reality begins to cease

In this dream my heart aches for a love that won't go away.

A love so strong that it will influence every motion that comes next

a love who would fill me with a heart of her own.

I suddenly turn to hear my name and as I see clearly

She buckles at the mere sight of me.

There she stands with wishful eyes that become a run so fierce

that only angels could guiding her towards me.

Startled at her flight my heart becomes an awkward paced drum beat

My hands tingle in anticipation; My arms become strong enough to catch her if she falls

Right in front of me she makes a grasp at the tips of my finger and misses.

Who knows what she sees but all hope is lost in her eyes. Tears roll down as I lose

all strength and fall slowly in a never-ending hole.

The window of my dreams has shut and I know I'll never see it again.

That once clear picture has become a blur and the walls of my dreams

whisper and snicker as though it were comedic that I should never

see the ending to this dream. Never see what I expect. Never know what she thinks.

Never know what could have been.

Startled awake in a cold sweat I dare not speak of this

for I know the ending to this choice to this voice of reason in my head.

It is not one I would wish on even my enemies. I close myself in the boundaries

of my mind. “Another dream as I crave the lone moon that comes closer and is yet

so far away...one day I will bring her to a world she's never known so that

she can finally heal and become all that she's meant to be”
Dec 2011 · 741
A Teachers Battle
Josh Dec 2011
I got asked today "Why writing?"

"What are you going to do with that?"

Without a chance to answer I went

within myself and asked myself those

same questions.



I figured out why and here's what as well.



I want want to be a writer and a professor

so that I can shape people's minds into a

mold of clay so mushy and shapeless into

something that will enable them to turn into

anything they want. I want to write lines

that keep people on the edge of their seat

waiting to read the next line only to realize that

they are on the last line of the final stanza.

I want my students to read my poetry and

say "wow this professor really knows his stuff"



I want to be able to gain so much knowledge

from my education that I will make minds tremble

like earth quakes to create grand canyons within their

undeveloped minds. I want to impact the world and

leave something for it to learn from. Not just by those

who are going to remember me but remembered by

a piece of paper that other professors tell their students

"write a critique on this and bring it in on monday."



Don't you go telling me that "I'm wrong" that "I'm wasting my

time" because at least I know where I'm going

and what kind of mark on the page I want to leave behind.

I tell you now all those that doubt that I'm going

to get there. I will and all I have to do is show you.

And all you have to do is believe in me, trust me,

encourage me but do not put me down because you

wait and see that I will become the man of my dreams

because he's someone who's going to be someone you

lean on to care for you and read when you're having a

terrible day.



I tell my fingers to type and they type

I tell my fingers to write and they write

I tell my fingers to wrap themselves around

a writing utensil so they can create worlds

of envy, of anger, of a beautiful existence

that will make people cry.



Now let me ask you.

What will you do with your life.

Who are you going to teach and

why are you into what you're into?!?

ANSWER ME THIS AND DO NOT RUNAWAY BEFORE I ANSWER. YOU COWARD.

YOU with your double standards. Why do YOU

want to teach? why aren't YOU doing what you've

always dreamed of? Just cause of insecurities. Hmph.

such a weak person and quick to influence.

At least I know. oh I know and i'll show the world

that I can do whatever it is what i want in the world.

— The End —