they say the world smiles through flowers
I say, your flowers make me smile for the world

I am beyond amazed
by the battles you have won,
and the beautiful symphonies you have
created.

I came to terms with the fact that
You're never coming back.
So when I sit in my car alone
And smell you
I can't bear the unknown.

I did everything I could
And told myself
Beyond everything
That you understood.

So that night I never heard from you
And that night you didn't
Look at me
I did everything in my power
To tell myself that there was never
An us of ours.

I can't listen to certain songs anymore
And that feeling of being unwanted
Is like never before,
And sleep used to be my escape
But now the darkness I see
Is like the darkness I saw in your room
So no matter where I go
Or what I do
I'm always followed by
The thought of you.

I breathe you,
I remember you,
I smell you,
Its beyond me why I still sweat you.

But I did everything..
I did everything.
I did everything I could,
And beyond it all,
I always told myself you understood.

I daydream briefly
and I think about
the softened, muted features
of a female, screaming silently
and tearing at her shoulder blades.
(who is she, who could she be)

the softened, muted features
of an abandoned cardinal mother,
screeching at the loss of scarlet lover.
(where is he, or could he be)

the softened, muted features
of myself alone and sleeping,
finger tucked inside a book
I haven't read about self-love
that I just like to tuck my fingers in.
(how am I, how could I be)

*I don't know why
I want to tell you
but I do,
I really do.
I think my heart
is in an okay place
and think that
yours is too.

I love you
Three words that don't tell it how it is
I more than love you
I want you,
Need you,
Have you,
Feel you,
Miss you,
Fear you,
See you,
Hear you,
Kiss you,
Adore you,
Taste you,
Breathe you,
I more than love you
I worship you
As my friend
As my lover
As the ruler of my heart
You are all good things
Yet you're like no other
I would kiss the ground
Your feet have walked on
Then I'd kiss them too
Not to prove I'm worthy
Just because I enjoy the sensations
Of trying new things with you

Time with you is a commodity
Much easier to part with
I spend it frivolously
Purely for enjoyment
We live for memories
Sleep for dreams
I sleep to wake up next to you
One thing I always look forward to
Is softly kissing your back
From top to bottom
Then bottom to top
As though I am your wake up call
Your human alarm clock
"Rise and shine gorgeous,
it's already ten o'clock"

I want you to know
You are priceless
Beyond value
Beyond worldly things
Invaluable to my happiness
And
Detrimental to the pain
I more than love you