Is there no shame
In the terrible way
I see mother's raise
Up their son's and
Their daughter's,
Making men to be
Less then men and
Making girl's to be
Less than beautiful.
What
Is
G
O
I
N
G
On with parents
In
T
O
Days
Culture!
No loving, caring, your baby you don't nurture.
Mother's nurture themselves like bats out of hell
Split fast to the mall to take care
Of their nail's and all
And forget about their babies?

Make me want to respect you
Give me a good reason,
Don't just smack me from behind and expect a favor.

Sleepless nights have been
My fight. When you aren't alright
I feel this chest tight.
When you aren't polite
I am sad by your ******
Expression.

Move me with your silence
Move me with your pause,
Move me with your poetry
Move me with your jaw,
Move upward
To my body
Clothes
And all.
Move down
Lower,
Between my-
Not there you slob!
Back upward now
Kiss this gentle forehead
It's getting late I won't debate
When I was with you I knew I was
Dead.

Taste me all the way
To my core and make
Me wanna be your special
Treatment girl.
Am I yet
Your
World?

Take my heart and boil it
In your **** kiss and make me miss
What I once had,
Call me mami
I'll call you papi
No, not dad.
Make me happy
Keep me happy
No not sad
I'm not some playgirl
Robin hood.
As you claim to be.

Collect all my
Tears and store
Them into a glass
Wine bottle, count
Them one by them
And don't dismiss who
I was to you and what I
Could do, lucky I'm not
As vengeful as I used to be
Now I've learnt being a better
Breed, one who doesn't slash your
Tires, most importantly one who doesn't
Slash your throat, do you still have hope?
Luckily I do, that's why I changed at the last minute
Not for you, for me.

Handprints I left on the window of the homemade bread factory
When I was thirteen years of age.
That was my time of adolescent memory,mixed with moral decay.
My father had left me, mother was sold out to ***, pills, and her grave.
I was a fiber bug to the world of technology,
Just trying to escape.
The homemade bread factory was Nana's. My daddy's mother.
Me and Nana cooked real Mexicali dishes, made butterfly catches, and dream catchers to go with my teen wishes.
Nana's house was the bread factory.
The factory no longer up and runs.
How I miss Nana, her cooking, her being momma and daddy both.
I miss Nana's love the most,
How our Nana's can be daddy and mother at the same time.
Gods gift to any grandbaby.
Rest
Peacefully sweet Nana
R.I.p
Maria boudega conshito.

If I was to
Depend on
Man and
Not God
Where would
I be right now?
Nowhere whatsoever.

Compassionate. Giving.
Loving. Living.
Dying. Sinning.
Sinking. Swimming.
Losing. Winning.
Birth.
Now.
I'm beginning.

We can say it is easy being a devotee to one,
Though I will say being devoted is a full time effort'
An effort. Not in doubting. Regret, lies, word's to fret.
Giving our whole self to the other
If the other can do the same,
Not for me to question,
Not for me to know
Only our other half knows.
Only him or her that boy or girl.
As far as me
I'm a loyal devotee.

I was created by my streets
The streets made me hard headed
Thugged. See through blood was my protection.
I had once no direction.
Taking the hitch-hiker path I learned the hard way,
Never take anyone for their word:
Until their word shows sacrifice.
If no sacrifice with action.
Heartfelt and honest it is not.
Heartbreak stroke symptoms pop.

Mother didn't hear me
Father wasn't near me
I grew
Up
At the age
Of five.
Now I give my
Ballerina
My daughter,
A much better life.
That's love.
That's what's right.

I just want to fade into the
Background to be only
White noise,
A fuzzing a buzzing.
A screen I'm in that's void.

Free
Fall
Ing.

In
To
T
H
E
Depths
Of
He
LL.
Unlatch me
F.                     C . e. L. L .
R.              Y
On.       M


Anyone here
Is this site working
Is this page
Being
S
E
E
E
E
N!
Hello
Angel
Ina--
Wake
F
R
O m
Y.  O
R   U
Dream's.

I listened
And eagerly
I learned more about myself from seeing my past,
My face in the mirror
Showed me I'm no longer a little girl, my aging year's
Have brought me tears
And all my fears
In the end,
Always last.

I made a move
You pushed me away
We laughed, cried, our love was decayed.
I remembered after you left, that you made me your slave.
In love no one should be in slavery, baby you misbehaved.

From the slums of mexico city
To the avenue of Hollywood,
Around the bin of saks fifth avenue.
To the know it all's, and all be goods.
In the hoods, where ghetto girls are sweet
Some are called hood bunnies
Junkies are the daily keeps.
I sleep sweet now I got out of
Mexico city's way of life.
The ghetto one
The slum one
The hood one
Not saks fifth avenue.
The hood,
Gangster avenue.

I'm not the type
To slip her bra and
******* off for some
One night escapade.
I have more technique,
A woman clean and boutique,
Sophisticated, not some broad
I'm a treasure, something better
Not Mrs **** for your playing with,
I'm not some mistress, not your Maud.
Strip of me of my dignity once shame on me.
Do it again, I will not pretend, I will have to show you the hand
When I leave.

I am feeling better the
Last few day's, thought
Provoking, I'm no longer
Choking, I'm breathing
Better in the future's haze.
I stayed silent now I'm ok
Because I speak my Spanish
Mind. If I was ignorant then,
I no longer am, I am my maker's
Design. So take down this note.
Take it note to self, we have free will
To be happy and still, depend on your
Creator.
Not nobody else.

I just nodded my head
Gave him the gracias he
Wanted, went off to bed
I felt dead
Unwanted.

Where you are
I am
Where its far
Distant, I need your best friendship.
I'm heavy on your demand,
There by your side
As your bride
Who
Will do
All.

Hate
Fate
Escape
Tape
My
Mouth
Shut
I can't
Shut
Up
Because
I was
Tied
Down
For no
Heard
Sound's
I'm
A
Victim
Of
Abuse.
I
Took
A bullet
Bit the string of
Shoes,
Punched
Kicked
Called
*****
****,
*****
Now
I'm
Unchain­ed
No longer
Shut up:
Open
Claimed,
By god
Better
By the world
Who cares for it.
No one needs the world
I know I dont.

I'm a cast away
From my own
I'm a second away
From all I know
I'm a smiling *****
At least to you
You are a sweet forget
From all I knew.
You are the shrew
Little boy.
I'm not your ****
Or little toy.
You, you I try
To avoid.
Scenic routes
Are better inside.
Inside myself where
I take my own steps.
Being alone I've
Figured is the
Best,

Isolated
In the trap
I have
Set.

Isolated
From the hurt
The remorse
Regret.

Isolated
Gracias
From the past
Day's.

I have Now
Grown. Me
No one owns
I am a girl not a slave.

I gave it my all
With now what I have,
The worse will get better,
The better don't turn bad.

I won't let the
Bad
Into
My
Head.

If only
I knew
Voodoo
You knew
All
That
I
Knew.
You got me
Twisted with
Some mental
Noodle.
I was everything to you to
Now what am
I
To
Y
O
U
?

Cool, relaxed, focused,
A good day, another bad
Will it be another hopeless.
Choking, on my own ashes
From heartbreak that passes
My now and nevermore.
I hated stuff from before,
You taught me I'm a woman
Not a girl, this is my world
This is my escape, my poetry
Rage, bitterness I must escape.
In extremis I am clouded by what
Was, what never was. But now
I can be better because I was shown
A premonition of my past,future, present self.
I'm still stuck
By
T
H
E

Past filth,

The time, seemed
In
R
E
V
E
R
S
E

R
       E
                W
          O
     U
N
D.

Down
Down
Down
Until I woke!
My heart at that moment when he wasn't with me,
Broke.

Smack me
You did already,
By not paying attention
To the woman you have in front of you
Pendejo!

I was wearing a brooch
That night, with a red
Latin dress. You did not
Notice I was trying my
Best. You cared how you
Looked, didn't care for me
Though, you wanted to go
Grab a foreign drink, and
Watch a Mexican movie for
A dose. A dose of my lips
Up on top the back theatre,
If only I would have known
Your qualities were that of a
Woman beater. But I was fog
Headed, blinded by your cool
Guy seduction. Now look at me
Unhappy, dead, messed in my head
From your web of lies, the string of
Suicide now shatters my view on
Anything new and now I'm new so
I'm better off being without you.
I feel much more productive,
Gracias: monster from my old
City.

A thirteenth century Aztec temple
Stood where i once did travel,
My newness was better
My heart was young.
I remember going into
The main square
Known
As
The
Zócalo,
Where the people were festive
Musically
Invested,
Now no one sing's
Once where they did
Now no one Laugh's
Its the sound
Of hatefulness.

It is
A dog
Eat
Dog
World,
And I'm not that
D
O
G.
Dont eat me!
Don't treat me,
Like you
Know
Me.
I give all
To receive nothing.
Nothing
Is
A
L
L
I a
    M
  T
O
You.

Make
M
E
Your's
Dont
U
S
E
Me.

Honey
Be
My
Honey
Until
The
End
Of
T
     I
  M
E.

I tried
Playing the
Wife part,
I tried loving
You
And
Staying
In
Y
O
U
R
Heart.
You kicked me
Out
Now I'm homeless
You were my home
Now you are my nightmare.
I don't want a home no more,
Better off homeless.

Freebie's are not
Me, I'm a hardworking
mujer. I take what I can
Get, I give my heart from
What I bet, I leave past behind
And do forget, the crime's of other's
Of fateful mess, but I do my best if
Someone else don't like, it's OK I'm
Fine, I'll be alright, because on when I
Shine, I will pass the other's who do not
My heart was broken long ago, now it's better
I've grown some, I have lost a little, gained some.
Tossed a light extra baggage to the side, sweet twenties,
For some a year for parties, nightclubs and the fake life.
Twenties for me is ballerina and me, my daughter, and I hope
To be somebody's wife.

Slurp and gulp me
Hurt and stalk me,
It's fine
You've done this before.
And who loved who more,
It was me all along.
I'm done.

The accuser
Is really the
Predator,

The prey
Always falls victim
To these predators,

And after their done ******
Us victim's,
They
Apologize,
And say they didint realize what they were doing.
How could you not know,
You are the predator.
Us victim's though,
We dust our feet
And get back up.

I don't want to be
obsolete from your
Center stage,
I don't want to be
Deleted from your
Life where all is right
Where I live inside
Your maze.
Criss-cross me
D
O
W
N      P.     Again....
         U

Swish me in your dribble
Connect me in your symbol's,
We can be Freemason's secretive
And naughty youth
Like the days I used to remember.

Simple
Fast
Fun
P
L
E
A
S
U
R
E
Pleasure
What all men want quick and at this moment
Chop, chop.
No!
You wait for me
If
You
Do
Really love
M
E.
After all
Waiting
Is the
B
E
S
T
Part.

Love
And
Longing.

Waiting
Debating
Rights and wronging.

I never knew beautiful
Until you came along
My
L
   I
      T
        T
       L
    E
Ballerina.

Im not your courtesan
Im not your Hon.
Im not your paramour
Im not a cheat or dumb.
Im not your's
You arent mine.
Call me whatever
Thats OK trust me im fine.
Im not your playwhore
Or your little concubine.
Im angelina lopez señor
Sorry, not your type.

Angelina
Why do you always downplay yourself,
Angelina, someone used to care, noone is no more here
Ive gotten on by myself.

Angelina
Your ready for all, yet closed to your world,
You fashion icon, you broken heart
Lionheart to nothing.

Angelina,
When are you gonna be something.
Also,
When will someone treat you like a someone.

Not a something.

Angelina
W
A
K
E

Up!

Im awake.

apenado
apenado.

Some guy's
Won't realize.
Their word's can **** a woman
Just by the flick of their chatterbox.

Advice. Men always
Watch those nasty poisonous
Words, that slip from your
Nasty mouth's.

I'm not your kindest girl
I'll knock you
Out.

I'm primed
A dime
Who needs no man's time
I'm fine.
I'm doing fine
Much better now 'hon'
Thanks
And your welcome.
Gracias!

Mother said I could do nothing
Father said I can do all, so
Now I do all, and that's why
Most girls are closer with dad.

The best poet
Is in the back
Of the
R
O
O
M.
He's writing rhyme's
On popular poet's dime's.
Shouldn't the lost poet shine.
So much trending
That shouldn't be
The poet who's mouth shut
No, not talking about me.
The poet who's introverted
Missing.
Come here poet
Receive my blessing.

**** me in
Spit me out
Touch my skin
Eat me out.
No not
That boy.
My heart
Give it
A
B
I
T
E.

The joy of living
Is not living
At all.