Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm asleep or awake,

My dreams are real and reality is fake.

What I think is real might be wrong,

Perhaps I've been deceived all along.

Maybe I'll wake up if this is a dream,

And realize that nothing is how it once seemed.

There are times when I just feel-

Like nothing in my life is real.

Perhaps I'll wake up after I die-

And see that my whole life was a lie.

Maybe not even reality is real,

Sometimes it seems abstract and surreal.

My life is terrible, too awful to be true,

So can it be real? I wish I knew.

This surreal life I can't escape,

What if I'm not even awake?

My whole life could be a dream,

Trapped in my mind, reality unseen.

If my life is a dream, don't wake me yet.

I want to live a life I'll never forget.

Before I entered my new job and got new friends and a new boss
I was a sailor
Man
Sea waters runs through my veins
With kisses, the cool winds have smothered my face
These blue waves used to greet me goodmorning everyday
And ****
My body is so hot
Because under the sun
My skin is just baked

So now
I'm just happy to see
My good old friend again
To unfurl the sails
To hear the floorboards squeak under my feet
To drink the moon glow cascading on us thick like milk

However
One key characteristic of the sea is its unpredictability
Sheer mystery
And in my lifetime as a sailor
It still leaves me
Grappling with her curious cases of conundrums

Somewhere along the middle
When we thought that we will just sail straight
No
We just got spat and slapped in the face
By cruel waves and cold wind
From a squall.
Like a storm but more severe and sudden
Too fast this hits us with no warning

The winds stirred the waters
Infusing it with rage
We're being tossed around, manhandled
By the wall of water towering,
Crashing on the boat and swamping everything
Desperately trying to hold on to something
Because I can't
stand straight
But how do I do so when
I can't even get a hold of myself and think straight

As the waters flood the deck
Questions flood my mind
What
What is happening and
How
How do we get out of it
How do we keep this ship from getting wrecked?
When dawn breaks tomorrow will there still be
A beat and a breath inside our chests or
Will the sun just find us on the shoreline dead?

Over the roar of the storm
I'm asking why
Why now?
Why us?
Why
me?
When I
Have done nothing wrong
to deserve this harsh punishment
This cruel treatment
My hands are clean
I'm innocent
Faithful, in fact
To You Jesus

Jesus
What are you doing?
Why are you sleeping
so soundly
On a cushion at the back of the ship?
How can you ignore this raging storm
The impending wreck which will seal
Our certain deaths?
Don't you care?
Can't you see?
How can you bear to sleep through our agony?
Have you forsaken us
And allowed us wallow in despair and tragedy?
Wake up! Jesus please
Where are you
in this desperate time of need?

Finally he awakens
And to all my questions he responds with one as well
He asks me
Where
Where is your faith?

I fell
Silent
And so does the squall
Mighty you arise and speak with authority
You command the wind and the waves to cease
And they do
They were viciously violent
But now
They've calmed down
Completely
The sea is conquered by
Serenity

Wait
One more question
Who is this man?
Who are you Jesus
That though the tides and torrents come
You can still sleep soundly like a baby
Safely
Resting in security with the fact
That no storm can ever bring you down to defeat
You are
Peace
so powerful
You command all noise to
Still
Ness
You see joy and beauty amidst the mess
When chaos hears your voice
It ceases
So please
Speak on

Maybe
We'll have infinite questions but
Zero or even negative answers
Though the world falls apart
falter we won't
A paradox
Transcending all understanding
This powerful peace
Strong serenity
And that is because
Hope is here
And Hope cares for me
For us
Now i know
That as long as He is with me
the storm is a sanctuary