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james Nov 2020
on the morning day of summer he knew.
he knew he loved her.

on the chilling windy day of late fall
he asked her on a date.
they held hands, making way through the crowd.
lights and sparkles of christmas eve,
the hum of people amidst festivities,
warm cups of chocolate passed between each other.
the dots of the night city reflecting in their eyes
as they smile in fear of anticipation.

on the warm spring day full of sun
they shared proximity among their hearts,
waking deep attachment that would bind them
for days and weeks and months to come,
being steered to their ultimate fall.
meanwhile, puffing the smoke of hope
for better days and understanding
that were to come—or not at all.

on the day full of sticky heat in summer
they kissed with no end in sight,
embracing in one others’ hands,
holding close to their rhythmic pump,
hot breaths as hot as feelings. it all seemed to go well,
from time to time—
stumbling on the rocky ways obscured with dense ivy rods
as they confessed their love.

on the late month of parching sun high in the sky,
on that day their hearts shared not the heat
that of their surroundings as they looked into the eyes
of truth, full of hurt and stubborn substantiality,
holding same thoughts, whirling on their minds,
uttering the long dreaded
yet long expected words,
breaking the bond holding them tight together.


on the chilly winter day with the first frost on leaves
they met again, one hoping of one’s reconciliation.
only to asunder that last hope,
held by thin string yet sturdy as a hair.
to say goodbye and part our ways.
breakup.
james Dec 2018
why so sensitive you are,
when you see a toilet sign,
when they say here go the men
and there the women.
be all pretty or be strong.
you drink ***** or some wine...

why break down every time,
why flinch at the sound,
why feel your stomach twist inside,
and brain screaming in protest?

‘you are making it all up’ they say,
but you fight your own self every day.
you are powerless and tired –
your strength and spirit fades.

will you endure,
and see a better end?
what it's like to have social dysphoria
james Oct 2018
do you know what it’s like
to feel like you live
in the cage?

do you know what it’s like
to hate what you see
in the mirror?

do you know what it’s like
to flinch when you hear
your voice?

do you know what it’s like
to break down in the bathroom
and cry into sleep?

do you know what it’s like
when you are
in the wrong body?
When your brain doesn’t match your body.
james Sep 2018
-
breathe in,
breathe out --
life will shine
one day,
one time.
james May 2018
fall is long, eternal,
fall is endless in it's depth.
darkness impossible to bear,
screams echoing.

fragile glass is trembling,
shattering in no time,
breaking from pressure,
pieces weaken.

soul dances inside the vessel,
hiding in its corners,
not able to resist the force
of the world.

body seeks enclosure,
distance from every thing,
every word and every whisper,
every pain.
james Apr 2018
you wander mindlessly along,
you wish to find the light on road.
you seek the freedom,
you want love.

you stretch your arms in front,
failing to grasp unknown.
you long for
finding love.

you don't let your heart
escape,
you don't wish
to love.

you've locked your heart
in cage -
you've banished it
from love.

you let the cage to open,
as the chance is seen.
you lock it once again -
the love

and know, you,
it shall stay there
and see no freedom -
no love.
For you, who didn't know my love. But it was there.
james Apr 2018
the sky roars with serenity,
the sky spreads crystal clear,
the sky engulfs into azure depths,
no end seen in them.

trees nod in tact of wind,
sun lurking between the branches.
birds tell the tales of passing world,
bees working busily in blossom.

I step,
I look,
I smell,
I feel.

dance takes me into a whirl,
spreading arms in freedom,
smiling to the sun,
absorbing the life.

I share,
I bind,
I take in,
I feel

happiness.
I have written my first poem based on one wonderful day that made me happy. Nature is something I always admired and was fascinated by, even if it's in the city. It's where it looks even more special.

— The End —