clock toils its time—it's time for life,
life's most perilous grand journey.

the snake tightens its grip around his neck,
as he surfaces from bathtub's shallow water,
for it's not drowning that is his demise,
no—it's air's extinction.

the snake coils itself around his head, like a crown,
gifting him sleepless nights, full of waking man's nightmares:
the bottle's shards in the heart,
rejection's painful strikes deep in his mind.

his end begins with lack of every thing imaginable:
energy, strength, desire, happiness, hope, love.
like a ghost living amidst us, a mere shell of what is left of him.
day and night—a struggle—as his will leaves him bit by bit.

amidst the pendulum stands snake's poison—
so elusive and so dear.
it's incredible how much he chases the high,
finding solace in its terrible embrace.

his beginning ends with persecution.
endless stories told by hidden messages.
madness unfolded, spread and laid out like a path,
that he takes as soon as no-one's in touch.

and what is left of life's time?
gone, gone are the stars.

soft breath on my skin with little kisses
follows the path of my veins and meets the crossroad
to stop at my heart, fluttering fiery and fast

blood, hot and thick, drips down the petals

her smile makes me skip a beat
but what is another heartbeat with you?
—to rest in your hands forever

an eye among the leaves, shimmering among sunbeams

to look in your soul is to fall for eternity
but what is an eternity with you?
—to find warm love in your gaze

night’s veil falls and the flower drowns

winter’s chill finds its way between our embrace
wills to cool our hearts, to put out our flame
or to spark it all the more?

fire consumes me, for my body to meet the earth’s depths
and i burn, i burn…
you kiss my scarred hands
tender, slow, healing

the blossom opens, water droplets singing

she is like a waterfall—so deadly yet so beautiful
cools in parching heat yet takes away your last breath
peaceful yet chaos rides its stream
no man’s place to tame

with her hand she cools me, washes off the pain
her soft lips meet mine to forget life
her voice to cure worries of mind
her smell to be at blissful peace
her raven hair and eyes of wood
with every mark on her body
skin against skin
sunshine glows inside my rib cage

the dark side of the moon met sunlight
and never turned away
for to be sun-kissed
is to be a lost lotus
rising from dark waters at sun’s first touch

wheat leaves rustle in gleaming sunset,
air saturated with aromas.
deadly silence.
blood on sunflowers.

she steps, slow shadow,
hand stretched—black soil’s blessing.
poppies in the skull.
cracks on bones.

night falls, hugging trees:
dark forest luring.
will you come back—
will we see each other again—

infinity of void ***** in all life,
never to let go,
never to be free,
never to see.

smoke clouds vision,
explosions deafening.
restless sleep.
restless death.

why is it happening—child’s voice,
old life lost in screams.
all fairness abandoned—
devoid of justice.

viburnum glows in the rising sun,
red cherries bursting with fleshly remnants.
white walls, straw roofs
aged with soot.

her voice loud and clear—
song of the river’s stream:
waters of memories of the past
growing in strength
to consume all that remains.
life’s birth.

hope grows.
a fallen seed,
covered in frost.

you got a hook in my heart,
and i am trapped,
letting you pull me in
closer and closer,
till you got me whole and raw.

you ask my heart, “what do you say?”
beat-beat,
you got a hold of me,
beat-beat,
i complete your will, replies it.

you look into my eyes,
and i am weak,
losing myself in their depth,
falling and falling,
never hitting the bottom.

you ask my eyes, “what do you hide?”
your gaze full of warmth,
fiery sparkle—
a challenge, as you undress my feelings—
i hide my passion, they reply.

you pull me in further, stronger, surely;
hands weaning the string of attachment,
as i near the surface and gasp for air,
reaching your stretched hand—
softness, tenderness spins my head—
my body, my traitor, as my feet buckle,
only to see myself in your embrace.

on the morning day of summer he knew.
he knew he loved her.

on the chilling windy day of late fall
he asked her on a date.
they held hands, making way through the crowd.
lights and sparkles of christmas eve,
the hum of people amidst festivities,
warm cups of chocolate passed between each other.
the dots of the night city reflecting in their eyes
as they smile in fear of anticipation.

on the warm spring day full of sun
they shared proximity among their hearts,
waking deep attachment that would bind them
for days and weeks and months to come,
being steered to their ultimate fall.
meanwhile, puffing the smoke of hope
for better days and understanding
that were to come—or not at all.

on the day full of sticky heat in summer
they kissed with no end in sight,
embracing in one others’ hands,
holding close to their rhythmic pump,
hot breaths as hot as feelings. it all seemed to go well,
from time to time—
stumbling on the rocky ways obscured with dense ivy rods
as they confessed their love.

on the late month of parching sun high in the sky,
on that day their hearts shared not the heat
that of their surroundings as they looked into the eyes
of truth, full of hurt and stubborn substantiality,
holding same thoughts, whirling on their minds,
uttering the long dreaded
yet long expected words,
breaking the bond holding them tight together.


on the chilly winter day with the first frost on leaves
they met again, one hoping of one’s reconciliation.
only to asunder that last hope,
held by thin string yet sturdy as a hair.
to say goodbye and part our ways.

why so sensitive you are,
when you see a toilet sign,
when they say here go the men
and there the women.
be all pretty or be strong.
you drink ***** or some wine...

why break down every time,
why flinch at the sound,
why feel your stomach twist inside,
and brain screaming in protest?

‘you are making it all up’ they say,
but you fight your own self every day.
you are powerless and tired –
your strength and spirit fades.

will you endure,
and see a better end?

do you know what it’s like
to feel like you live
in the cage?

do you know what it’s like
to hate what you see
in the mirror?

do you know what it’s like
to flinch when you hear
your voice?

do you know what it’s like
to break down in the bathroom
and cry into sleep?

do you know what it’s like
when you are
in the wrong body?