Completely over you, but still wishing someone could treat me the way that you did.

you used my body
as I was a tool
you took advantage of my love
treated me as I was an option
I knew things weren't right from the moment I asked you to kiss me and you said no
popped into my head was
your name
your smell
and your momental love

We are who we are, because of what they are.
The need to be perfect. The need to be thin, skinny, beautiful and popular. The need to be in control. Self-destruction our only friend. Anorexia, bulimia, and ednos, our sicknesses. Self harm - the only way we know how to control our pain. Suicide... The the only way we see as a means to escape. ****, molestation and abuse filled our sick childhoods and now we all pay the price for it. We pay with the blood from our veins, the ***** from our stomach's, the tears from our eyes... We pay for their crimes until we are empty and can not give any more.
We are what we are, because of what they are. And we scream out for help. We cry for forgiveness. We do anything we can to beg for mercy and yet, no one answers. So we cut, and we starve, and we purge until we have withered away to nothing but scarred up bones. Just empty shells of the kids we used to be... And still they don't notice. So we try to **** the pain inside... Over dose. Hanging. Gunshot. Slit wrists.
And then... they notice... But for us, it's already too late. They made us who we are. Whether or not we succeeded, we are already dead inside.

Dear mother, father, brothers, and friends,
What is happiness, but a trend?
I never found it, but I did crave it.

I spent day and night crying over a lost love,
A lost chance, a forgotten friend, a speck of dust.
Everywhere I looked, I saw the beauty I couldn't find in me.
And it pained me so. It pained me quite so.

A wonderful world ruined by a broken soul
Is not such a wonderful world, is it?
I could not stand ruining other people's happiness,
When I knew I would never find it.

Once, a friend told me that just like love,
Happiness finds you.
But I guess the line was long enough already,
And all the operators were occupied.

I shall join all the forgotten souls,
All the dead ones somebody used to love or hate.
In happiness, in love, in bliss, in joy, in death.
Goodnight, and joy be with you all.

oh have you been there for me
when i needed a hug
or laugh
or your unconditional love
i am so
greatful for you
thank you