Sleep
   Is gripping at the fringes of her mind.
         Calling her
    Into the black velvet blanket of
                         Unconsciousness...

Beckoning her
                         in an almost sensual way
     She
       Resists,
            Pushes,
                Sighs.
     And gives in. Gives in to the melting sensation, the state of rest.

As time stands still...
                                       movement stops.
As little pictures play inside her head,
          Telling her...
Sleep
          is
               on
                     its
                                    way

"They keep calling him lucky" my mama
says
reading about a boy so desperate as to
climb
into the wheel well of an airplane
and fly to Hawaii.

They keep callin him lucky.

Temperatures of -80 degrees, almost completely depressurized.
Says only 18 people have ever survived.

They keep callin him lucky and I can't help but wonder if he passed out from lack of air, or simply lack of life.

Says he ran away from his family yet people keep callin him lucky.

I think of ever time I lift off
how many boys got their eyes on my plane
wishing they could be me?

He was desperate enough to
crawl into what he must have known to be
certain death.

Yet they keep callin him lucky.

Notice the way I change when you enter the room.
Notice the way you make my lips curl into a smile when you speak to me.
Notice the way your face reflects so handsomely in my brown eyes.
Notice the way my body shudders beneath your touch.
Notice the way I taste on your lips, lust and desire.
Notice the way that I can’t live without you.

Notice the way I change when you leave.
Notice the way I have no smiles left, only frowns.
Notice the way you can’t see a thing through my glassy eyes.
Notice the way that my hip bones poke through my tee shirt.
Notice the way my lips chap and bleed when you kiss me.
Notice the way that I’m dying without you.

i dream about
that girl
that girl
who can wear that
dress
and smoke
after school

she can let her
hair down
even on the hot days
and let it fall
and dance
on the small of her back

she breaths in
the lethal fumes
that don't even touch her
her porcelain skin
too taut to let the
poisons in

she sits and lets
the sun melt on her face
as she lays on the freshly
cut grass
the boys staring
and her not caring

i sit and stare
at that girl
who sits and stares
right back at me
through the smoke
of my infinite
dreams

Did you know what you were doing,
When you took from me something I can’t replace?
You cursed me to a life of categories and labels.

You were doing something so wrong,
And never thought to ask what it meant to me.
You cursed me to a life of ****** mysteries and no bedtime stories.

At first I wanted to play along,
The innocent child who only wanted to tease.
You cursed me to a life of immortal desire.

Who put the thought in your head,
That you could poke and **** me, finding my insecurities?
You cursed me to a life of lab tables.

Now all I see when I want to see love,
Is a form of your face, your body, your image.
You cursed me to a life of repetition and similarities.

You said it showed your love for me,
That it was what I needed to be sure of what I felt.
You cursed me to a life of no chance at love.