Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
  Nov 2018 Jack Jenkins
Alice Lovey
I know we've never been "together."
I know you said to move on.
I tried to be fine with wading this weather,
But the love in my heart still tells me it's wrong.

Now, I'm not saying I'm resentful,
But you did treat me like I was special.
Lately has been so uneventful.
And I'm starting to think this isn't a game...

I get a little jealous when you look at other girls.
I know we're not together, but... You are my whole world.
I get a little jealous when you talk about them too.
It's because we're not together, but...
You told me that you liked me... You told me that you do.

Now, I'm not trying to be weird, but call me, I'd give you my time.
Actually, I'd give you everything, cuz I just want you to be mine.
When I got too lonely, I'd just stare at your photos--
Soundless replacements for you, who knows.

You said I'm obsessive—come on now, don't play.
You like it when I'm open, you preferred me this way.
You said we'd be great together, don't think I forgot.
I cherish every sweet thing you said, so my heart doesn't rot.

Now I've deleted all of your things, cuz I can't bear to see your face.
My prized possessions... I should've given you space.
Why wouldn't you make me yours, like you wanted to?
Now we're apart, now we'll both just be blue.
And now I regret this—now I really do.
True, I'm a little weird, but we're both crazy.
I know what you're afraid of; I know it isn't me.
Jack Jenkins Nov 2018
I woke up heavy
a thousand blank pages on my mind
a million words buried in stunted overgrowth

I woke up heavy
with all the voices in my ear
driving daggers through my heart

My eyelids were steel traps
and between dream and reality
my nightmares were in the shadows

I woke up heavy
My lungs filled with smoke
My stomach was full of red fire

I woke up heavy
and for another day
I wish I hadn't
//On anxiety//
Nothing can go wrong and yet you wake up depressed one day.
Jack Jenkins Oct 2018
Why
I'm tired of telling the millionth person
the same story of how love died
& they pull out a pad and pen
trying to fill in the blank,
cracking the secret formula,
of why it happened:

"You two weren't compatible"

"You need to love yourself more"

"She wasn't the right one for you"

"You weren't the right one for her"

"It was just young love"

"These things just happen"

Everyone has their own perspective on it
& nobody really
listens.

Because I don't need to know why;
if I did I would be stuck in the past,
and trying to fix it.
I'm not.

I just need to know how to keep living
when every time my heart beats
it hurts because the one who I gave it to
is missing from my life

How do I not lose my breath when I think of her?
How do I quit having dreams about her?
How can I move on from losing my best friend because I lost control of my mental health and shut her out?
How does neglect become undone when you are removed from their life?

She was 7 years of happiness in my life; not a long time to many, but remember I am only 23 years old.
I grew into a man with her stitched to my heart.

So please don't try and tell me why it fell apart.
Please just tell her I love her if you see her.
//On her and friends//
I know people want to help, and I'm very grateful for the care so many have for me. It's just insensitive to try and fix someone who is just trying to learn how to move on.
If you really want to know the "why" you'd have to live through it because it is far more complex and nuanced than just filling in a blank like a crossword puzzle.
Jack Jenkins Oct 2018
You stood by me through the hardest times
You gave me everything, you were my solid ground
You picked me up when I was down
And you were there when there was no one else around

No, I'm not turning my back on you
There's something I've got to do
I'm torn between these two worlds
And I don't ever want to have to choose

Hi, goodbye again
It's time for me to go
I'll miss you, I promise to try
Not to be gone for long

Been chasing time, to make it last
And now another year has gone so fast
Gone back and forth for way too long
And I know I need to decide where I belong

Everywhere I go I think of you
And how I've broken your heart in two
Please don't give up on me just yet
I know we'll find a way to make it through

Hi, goodbye again
It's time for me to go
I'll miss you, I promise to try
Not to be gone for long

I've been trying to explain to you
That it's not your fault
I still feel so close to you
Despite the distance

Hi, goodbye again
It's time for me to go
I'll miss you, I promise to try
Not to be gone for long
This song makes me think of her a lot. Sometimes I hate listening to it, but it's one of my favorite songs.
Next page