Time was not the healer
I was promised it would be
just a threadbare bandage

I still love you
hate that I hate you
hate that I love you

Locked away feelings
it's better this way
to have no heart

Love was not a waste
just a taste though
was a price too high

Mind
incoherence but no amnesia
just let me forget it all

Broken body
inflamed and twisted
given to too many anyways

Heart is dead
died fighting the good fight
lost the war

Do I have peace?
At least the lesser half
Yes

Poetry is always the epicenter of my expressions,
My soul's sole extension
The way I give subvention
To my tension
To give confession to my transgression
But my pen is now empty
The bottle tempts me
I pour my drink to fill
Only to find the emptiness of the glass
Matches the emptiness of the heart
The emptiness of the pen
My mind as blank as paper
My thoughts fleeting as vapor
All I can think is how I miss her
How I miss her voice that's been gone so long
How I miss the care she would give to me
How I regret that I would forget
Just how much she meant to me
& now I lament what should have prevented
Halving my heart and her heart
Never to be together because I blew it
I blew it
& I can't stop writing about you, my friend
but there are only so many words
They cannot transform this pain
They only perform for others to read
& that will not make me whole again...
So here's to the good years poetry has brought me
Here's to the good memories of you and I
I say goodbye to what once was
Because it just hurts to write
I only long to be numb

I'll always regret losing you
I'll never get to say I'm sorry
The pain you gave
Does not compare
To the pain I allowed
Hating you
I hurt you
Robbed the memories of us
Twisted everything around
I'm sorry for that
I've learned to cope
To accept
To take things one
D̶a̶y̶
Drink
At a time

Missing you
Two words burned in my eyes
It's true
Missing you
Two hearts broken apart
It's true
Missing you
I felt the hurt
You did too
It was all wrong
What did we do?
Missing you
Cut apart
Thinking of us how it fell apart
Why did we do it?
I pushed away
You pushed away
I felt taken for granted
You didn't want to lose me
We lost each other
Are we better off
Not together?
Yes.
But I'm still missing you

Emptiness is a wholesome feeling
Consuming your hunger
Self-centered
Everything wrong
Were words enough to survive?

Empty sheets of paper on the floor of my mind

Empty was my desire all along
Empty of you, of me
Empty bottles
Another night I lost
Empty promises to stop

Empty heart with empty lungs
Empty organs on the floor
Let it go, feel nothing
Wait for the music to cut your skin

Empty eyes, the rains did not come.

I throw paper airplanes at the moon
All the poems and love meant for you
All the wishes on shooting stars
Folded and flown into the wind
Release
In the quiet peace
Find freedom in letting go