The first time I saw him in 2 years all I could manage to choke out was "where do you stay" and "I'll pay you as soon as i can"
I dreamt of him that night. I dreamt of dew covering the ground, chlorine, and dead things. Dreams of sugarplum fairies danced around my head.
You know, they say "relit cigarettes never taste the same and that's all I've got to say about rekindling old flames" but I imagine you would taste like the last time I kissed you- salty.
Because as soon as our lips touched I started to cry. Because I knew it would be the last time. Because we were too young. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be with you again.
I wish I could roll you into a joint and get high off you. I wish you didn't talk like one of the bad guys, like a gangster.
I wish you never learned what it was like to be without me.

I'll be patiently waiting for you,
enveloped in the flames,
that you set to keep me warm.
Trapped in the darkness,
where the only thing I can see,
is your eyes staring back at me.
I'll keep trying to reach out to you,
only to choke on the thickened smoke,
unable to produce a sound.
I'll burn alive here waiting for you,
since you're the only thing I have left,
your dark perfection I have only ever dreamt.

An earth filled flower *** is all I have left of you.
That and the memories,
Both good and bad.
The flower *** reminded me of you at the end
Empty, nothing left to give.
But then summer came, and with it your flower *** bloomed
Bright orange lilies, the most beautiful I had ever seen
A burst of fire
A fleeting explosion of passion and wonder.
The flower *** reminds me of you at the beginning
Full of hope and beauty, with everything to give
That’s how I choose to remember you now
And every summer the lilies grow I think of the past
And smile at the unconditional love you always had for me

A man without internal conflict
Is either a simpleton,
Or heavily indoctrinated


-Hadrian Veska

Today you said something that,
Finally put me over the edge,
That finally made me make up this,
Sick twisted mind of mine.

One simple text was enough,
To flip the switch from on,
Straight to off,
Without a second thought.

Now all day I have been
Thinking, of how I feel,
How I feel free but yet,
Lonely.

You see I think we were made,
To be friends, and we took it too far,
I did not mean to break your heart,
If it helps, I broke my own heart too.

All the others who have caught my eye,
Are no longer on my mind,
It really was the thrill of it all,
That ultimately had me.

Now I am left with this new feeling,
You see I have always been alone,
But this is the first time in my life,
That I have ever felt lonely.