yesterday in milky way
i heard giants used to be in this world  
how enormous creature they were
even with their beastly claw
how they have fallen
yesterday in milky way
things were different and tall
now all we hear is legend
if so mighty can not be here at all
i wonder if we'll be just another legend
them digging our bones and documenting
In log  " yesterday in milky way"

someday i'll say:
"how calm and soothing that light, reflecting on your skin"
i'll sing of moonlight and praise the sun
but not today.
i'll tell tale of fair maiden in trouble and how she was saved
just not today.
i'll fight a glorious fight and victory'll be just another tide
its just not that day
not today.

today i just want to indulge myself and think of happy thought.
**** first, drink a beverage with my favorite meal and jolt down few more ******* in a page without having to change my pajama.

from the edge i can almost see the whole view
how wind blows hard and gently calms down
steeply ***** and seemingly non ending plains
dynamic  climates and static landscape
chameleon scenery and unforgiving dear soul

sometimes i hear you without listening
when i listen, your voice doesn't single out
and just for a moment when it does
you provoke me to  madness
letting me believe that i am walking in circle
i feel the urge to slay dragon in the midst

come*   and   go   as   you   please
one  slip  at  a  time,  sinking  with  thee
i­  see  no  way  out  of  this  salty  sea
we  ­are  bound  to  be  here
and  it  seems  we  cannot  flee
so  i  hope  ­you  are  not  trying  to  drown
for  i  might ­ drown  with   *thee

ITS EITHER :

i am a self centered *****
or they are too good at pitch

i am going crazy in this sinking ship
or they are seemingly decent lunatics

i am unable to convey whatever i say
or they lack comprehension , message delay.

ITS EITHER SOLO TIPTOE OR PUBLIC TALK SHOW
CAN'T BE BOTH, IS IT THOUGH?

PERHAPS,
IT COULD BE EITHER OR BOTH
PREVIOUS IS SOMETHING  I  LOATHE
BUT LATTER NEGATE POSSIBLE OUTGROWTH.

so i glued myself dreading the worst
with unwilling nerve to scratch the crust
this mystery could be blessing or curse.

this constant feeling of  inevitable doom
consumes me but they know, i assume.

so here i am
In this pickled fiasco staying afloat.
with toneless stern face they gloat.

they talk tall and taller
i feel small and smaller.

What if road to heaven
Goes through hell
Will you take that journey?
Or just be content
with what you have
right now.

can i say its ok
ok to be lying down
without a sound
cause it seems you are at peace.
so what if your breath ceased
it happened to you
and it'll happen to me
so when i go
i want my lover to know
its ok my love
my spirit is at ease
do grieve
but never cease
to carry on...

One day, when the day comes
i'll prove you have nothing to worry about
that i am all yours.
One day, when the day comes
i'll take that leap through stars
and put it into beautiful rhyme
how i always liked it.
One day, when the day comes
i'll do all the things kept on hold
then i shall feel complete and whole
and
That one day, i won't have to think
about the list of things i haven't done.
Or i might even feel nothing
because sometimes what i wanted
is not even clear to me.
Everyday i talk to myself
what do i wish to accomplish
one day?
The remark is always fuzzy.
Only thing certain is that
ONE DAY my day'll come
and i haven't a faintest idea
how its going to play out.

Sometimes I feel so old
Like I have been here forever
Seeing same things happening over and over

And

Sometimes I feel like I am so young
Like I have all the time to figure out what's what
Discovering new things everyday

But

Sometimes, I feel exactly 28yrs old and I know that i know not enough to decide but it is still necessary to comment and have half boiled opinion.

long before you wish it upon me, it already happened.
long before you taught me that word, I knew exactly what they meant.

searching for funny rhyme, he couldn't stay still
rambling with words,  trying to get a humorous feel.

some he gets it right, rest without insight
funny dreams, he tries to dream every night.

consume with vigor zeal, craving for goofy comic unseen
edgy, restless, vexed ,away from blissful sleep and yet so keen.

so i have been distracted from reality of death again
now i hope finding my way among all adding few years more
how perilous and sad you say i sound
i am but a great admirer of life
mourning of its inevitable end
then i finally understand
and came to appreciate of death too
i realize we need life to feel that too
and to really know death is every bodies' doom
we have no choice but to rejoice of this finite gift
and see to it that we lived it all and lived it well

no i don't  prefer  to  be  alone
its just that silence is more profound  
whenever i am around people
yes i do fear for my spirit depressing down
but i feel like i am gasping for air among others
yes i feel ridiculed by my odd deeds
but i was just being honest to myself

who says resting doesn't hurt?
it slows every muscle, bone
deprive you of  every passion, eventually
your *** gets glued to comfortable sheet
and gradually begin to shrink in it
to the point that it numbs and ache
then you feel this pain
not physical but tortuously insane
you begin to think about the time
when  you wanted more
more for your soul with the hint of vanity.

who says sharing doesn't hurt?
it fully controls the tone of your voice
that moment of everything moving so slow
while the beats in your chest thud so loud
rarely that deed doesn't feel like blow
and once in a while when it just fits right
you value the existence of another being
you think of a time when
you were exclusive to yourself
how silly that notion
remaining secluded, just painting your wall.


who says its easy to advise?
well!  its not, to recollect your encounter
peeking inside and contributing insight
to recommend the best while knowing
no individual is that sincere
you think of a time when you walk tall
without  any idea of perception
with ignorant head.

whoever says whatever they say
when i contemplate those says
i would say, they were quoting others
they might have got reciting all right
but they don't know at all.

its time
time to inspire
time to acquire what is require
time to achieve that dream
its time to be my own hero

this gush of rush moving so slow, its almost stagnant
holding mania  within so firmly that it resembles sadness
patching up all the leaks but still couldn't stop some drops
its dragging me all over the places i have been avoiding
i am utterly far outside my zone, chill running down my bone
even distractions are now questioning "you ok? whats with your tone?"
no! leave me be, don't judge or care for me, i'll be fine
i just need some time alone with me

so here where it led me
after this long time
after this long tardy travel
i can't say if i like it here
or maybe i am beginning to like it
or is it the habit settling in
i have always dreaded of being
rooted in one place and yet somewhere
in my heart i longed for it too
so here where it led me
here i am
i am scared and fearful
this is what i knew would happen
this is what i wanted to avoid
on second thought,i am not
published story but
manuscript in the process
it may fail to be successful one
but i can turn it how i want it
and that thought is enough
to keep me going,
keep going on and be part of
that sketch of lady disappearing  in dark
or is it emerging into light?
i wont know which part will i be
of that shaded sketch of lady
in black and white.
but here i am and i don't have to stop...

I may not be suffering but I get this feeling that I might be in need
of stat dose of your compassion,
Your understanding and little bit of
love with trust and patients.

finally I can  be functional
Fully myself and then maybe I can do the same for you!

Some wounds shatter you
Some only leaves a scar

unsettling thoughts moving in whirlpool within me
i wish i could just think it off, off of me
it would be great to breathe in some free air
without having to think what am i doing.

we shall see default expansion
the day we are truly free.
we shall identity in no faction
but in unanimity with no skeleton key.
that day we can conjure up the plan
to explore within and beyond galaxy.
can you imagine alien called HUMAN
landing on another earth in distant days?
i can imagine it but never vivid
i used to think bigger in old days
so lets
ignore
this ****
it is just my childish wish .

did every possible things to get it
do you think if you want it?

It's temporary I know
Sometimes I am sad
And sometimes  I am glad.

that spectacular view of blue sky
blinding us from cold dark places
and don't we love a good lie
like "love you forever"
one of these days somebody ought to say
"lets be together till time ends us"
maybe its gloomy and not a sweet lie
and don't you love the concept of forever
we dwell on impossible longing
tasting ******* like first cigarette
lets tell ourselves new lie
we'll conquer the world with love
and in the new dawn when sun rise up
we'll be singing same song without any lose

i am lost in wonderland, wondering if i ever come out of it.
Its all sand and stories here, unreal world, unreal people,
even stories fails to mimic reality.
swimming is dream here; a glass of water, life and dewdrops, quenching thirst most.
here, i don't wish to stay; here, i don't see myself unpacking.
i need to leave now, i would rather have a nightmare then be part of this mind numbing place.
let me borrow a wing just to fly away from here, let me slap myself to wake up from  here.