Before me lies darkness beyond compare
An abyssal space, no end in sight

Yet before the pain I can no longer bear
To my eyes arrives a light

Without a form, a concept born of air
It’s outstretched hand I grab, and very tight

For me, this saviour is so rare
I must hold on with all my might

A person? ‘Tis is a title many share
For so long so wrong, now so right

A shroud of misery is no longer what I wear
My change so strong, I could take flight

Though slips into gloom and doom are not so rare
This life of mine is no longer eternal night

you are chaotic, and beautifully broken
standing stoic and silent
but the earth thrums with your screams

there is no romance to be found in pain
fret not about idealism and misconception;
i know how you suffer

but there's so much love in you,
you could make the soulless feel again
too much passion for you to know what to do with

never shown enough compassion to understand
that your mind, ill as it may be, is gorgeous
you are not awful, but awe-inspiring

hard work wears you down
but your hands are still so soft;
they were meant to be held, and kissed

you were born to be adored
and feared and wanted, to confuse with your complexity
so that only the best of people will stand with you

side by side with you, with open eyes
and open arms and open hearts
there is war in your chest and these friends will bring you peace

the world has, since birth, shown you destruction
volleyed hatred and scorn in your direction
but here is its reconciliation:

these people that love you are soldiers
ready to help you win the wars that explode in the spaces between your ribs
they will help you breathe, and smile, and sleep

I filled your veins with water and wrote you down on white paper so I didn't have to read you back anymore. Girl's got a suicide pact across the pacific and all I can do is taste the dust.
2. There is a certainty in the way your body moves out time with itself when you think too much.
3. You told me you wanted to be a saint but you were too afraid of the sight of god. When you asked what belief tasted of they told you: fresh buttercream and a wasp's sting. We didn't see you for days.
4. There is a certain tension and it only exists between the bends of girl's legs and the concrete which holds them stronger than any arms could.
5. I want to run every cliche by you and watch you hold hands into the night with it instead of me.
6. Some people can be replicated entirely out of candle wax.
7. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO ******* SELF AWARE ALL THE TIME. You can't even watch yourself.
8. You know you're a halfway house of cells and who are you to say I can't keep up?
9. Say would you tell me if I was just a little off key?
9. Would you tell me the answers to the questions I never asked?
9. Would you play that evening differently if you could turn back the hands that bind you?
10. I burnt you a bridge and sent you the fire like we could ever fill a room with your god. I want to ask him what he thinks of our sins.
11. There is a fluidity in the way your words turn back on themselves.
11. There is a fluidity in the way you turn back on yourself.
11. There is a fluidity in the way people leave doors open for you.
12. I don't think I'd even know what to say to you if I saw you.
13. I only feel comfortable on even numbers.
13. I guess I made myself an odd number.
13. I don't know what we're left with.
13. This is not how we were supposed to end up.
14. I wish you could see the holes you left in the back of my throat.
15. Loving you was as easy as leaving the lights on.
16. And that walk to your parents house was a floodlit symphony like you capitalised every word of every passage I wrote about you with
17 reasons to stay.
And 18 to leave.

The first was the last time I shook like a guard rail and you were a concrete staircase, and I swear, I ain't never seen nothing like you yet.
The second: my fist on your name. But I am here now, like a lit splint bursting into flames, you won't ever find a ghost like me again babe.
The third. And you just want to **** everything. I said you just want to **** everything in your Berlin Wall house.
Your girl's got a bullet hole for a mouth and when it rains, it really does pour round here.

I told strangers about the way you left me
They got off the train and did exactly the same
I dozed off in class and imagined you to be there, holding my hand under the table or passing me a note
I knew it was my only choice
To resort to sleep just to see your face again
I feel myself forgetting you
Your laugh
Your shoe size
Your coveted heart
I wanted to own it
But I never let you give it away
You were too busy trying to return my own back to me
I shrugged in refusal, I told you it didn’t make a difference
I don’t breathe anyway
I don’t feel anyway
I think now I change my mind
Please call me
I want to see the face I want to forget
Bring my heart in a paperbag
Don’t sign your name
Wear new shoes, not your old white ones
I don’t want to stare at them again and remember all the times I did exactly the same
To shy away from that ******* smile
I don’t want to go back to trying to love you
Please don’t let me go back
Take my passport and bus ticket
I want to stay here
Wherever here is
Away from feelings I once tried to know
I tried too ******* hard, didn’t I?