My disease can shock and offend , pull a rotten apple from the tree of life itself , a black hole neutralizing star light , an unheard cry in the middle of night . Gifted hands tied by the poisonous vine of censorship , melancholy days , a wind racked ship set adrift . A tiny wisp of flame in the path of a storm , unsettling voices from sources unknown . The riddle of two clenched fist , one holding a diamond . A motherless son with no one to guide him . Drugs that manage hopelessness , ripe berries surrounded by brambles , dark days to oneself , seedling drowned in a glass of water .

See the empty
In my eyes?
But mute out
My sound.
Hold me back
By my hands.
I'm held tight
And bound
In the ropes
Of your entangled ways.
Kick me to the ground.
See the empty
In my eyes?
****** fuzz
I downed.

Dirt . Grimey filth.
That's what you are.
A cheat.
A liar.
A womanizer.


I accepted you.
Into my heart.
Into my eyes.
Loved the love
You gave to me.
Accepted the disguise.
Knowing you were bad for me,
I took your hand.
Accepted the lies
You fed to me.
I still don't understand.
How you'd break a promise
As pure as mine.
I'll never understand.
But I guess that's
Just fine.

She's everything I'm not.
She isn't humiliated.
Or empty.
I still feel for you,
And you used me,
So simply

I give you this goodbye.
Breaking my passion.
To the one I once admired.
Take the pieces that you broke.
Turn my blood
Into fire.

Dance with me.
Inhale me.
Wrap me around your tongue and teeth.
Breathe.
The stale smoke out
Of your
Black and charred lungs.
Into the cool,
And now toxic,
Morning dew.
Wrap your fingers around me.
Take a long,
Silver draw.
Wrap your spit
Around my yellowed
Ribbons of cancer.
Catch a lungfull of me.

Pick up the bottle.
Its just a sip.
A taste of poison
Won't **** you.
Feel me.
Like gasoline.
Let me set your insides
Ablaze.
Let the liquid waves crash
Over your teeth.
Drip the liquid fire
Down your throat.

Pop it. Swallow it. All of it.
Let the wave of unreality drown your
Pathetic screams
Of plea.
Pull you down for a swim.
Drown me.
In addiction.
Hello. I'm that man in the white coat.
I own the pen and pad.
I prescribe those little jewels
Of worthlessness.
Feel you eyes begin to droop.
Drool on yourself.
Whatever it is that makes
You feel comfortable.
I'll help you into that pine
Coffin. Tuck you in.
Concave the lights.
Forever floating in your morphine day dream.

Oh, how I wish you could have been there.
For all the times before when I was alone and down on my luck.
For all the times I was on top of the world and in love with life itself.
I wish you could have been beside me to see all the beautiful things and places I have seen.
I wish you would have been there to hold my hand and comfort me when I needed someone.
I wish that I would have known you sooner.

But I look back on my life and its events, and all signs point to you.

Everything that has happened to me has lead me to you.
I look back on all the relationships that didn't work or friendships that fell through,
And all signs point to you.
You may not have been there for all the good and bad times, but I know that I will share the good and bad of the future with you.
All signs have guided me to you, and I didn't even know it.

m.h.

I'm scared of my own head
And I'm lying all the time
Just waiting for someone to finally see (don't see)
That the last thing I am is fine

Today I observed the flaming trees,
The flakes of gold drifting in the wind,
Like sleepy fairies,
And I thought,
I want to die like a maple,
die like an aspen in the fall,

as my strength is stripped away,
the underlying poetry of my veins is exposed,
and the tough skin peels back,
to show my unsung melodies,
Every note!

and it is a song,
blending beautifully with the cosmos,
Oh, that I would die like a tree,
when you see my barren body,
remember my last red moment,
full of auroreatic brilliance,