You said we still had the stars
But you took them with you when you left.
Now It's dark
And we're constellations apart
And every night I cry
For the moon.

Why do i do this to myself?

I want you.
In silence i beg for your attention.
I just wanna be able to love you & treat you right.

You push me away.
Every chance you get.

I cry myself to sleep sometimes
Cause the feeling of unwantedness you bring to me drives me insane.

Why don't you reply?
Why don't you want me?

I just want to love you like you deserve.

I stare into the darkness of the room, tears running down my face.
Silence.
Nothing comes to mind but you.
You
You
You
******.
Why cant i forget about you?
Why wont my heart let you go?
******.
I wish this wasnt so hard.
You got over me in an instant,
Why cant i get over you?
******.

I have secrets written down on scraps of paper thrown underneath my bed but you're my biggest I took advantage of you and how you felt when I would make you smile I made you feel like a grain of dirt in my garden and I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought I was innocent and perfect that I could do no wrong especially to you but it was all a lie I made myself believe and you believe for so long I hate that I hurt you and I hate how I can't take any of it back I cannot stand the thought of you wandering around today or years from now thinking of me as a storm who did not do anything good but destroy it's precious surrounding I really pray that the thought of me does not pass your mind when you are sad and that I'm not pinned in the back of your mind but out of your mind I cannot stand to think that you will remember me as someone who broke you instead of someone who loved you

-something I wish she would say to me.

j.f

Often times I feel disconnected to reality,
Like I am there physically
But mentally I am not.
I am fully aware of my surrounding,
I am fully aware of people passing by,
It just feels like a complete blur.
Sometimes, people talk to me,
I listen,
But my mind wanders somewhere else.

Write... me
let your words describe me
How you want me
Write pages and pages of every detail
So I know what I need to become
Handcuff me and don't let me run
Force me to be the way you want
don't let me run
cause your pages and pages of fake description is better than having none.

I have to stay strong while you leave me
to write my own self
You left
why do you always leave
leave me in my tangled words
leave me to figure it out on my own
leave me to think about not thinking about you
leave me to my own thoughts of
did you leave me or did I run .

so comeback and write me
write me the way you want
Handcuff me and don't let me run

I long to memorize
every thing you tell me.
Every word you say late at night when
your brain turns drunk even if you're sober.

I want to inject your words into my veins
so the moment you walk out of my life,
I could cut my skin open and
bleed your words out.
Just like that.

I want to kiss you in the middle of your sentences
that I can taste your words
and transfer them into my system.
So the moment you regret ever saying them,
I could shove a finger down my throat
and force them out just like that.

These are things I'm willing to do,
To let you know
That with every word that comes out of your mouth,
Bitter or sweet,
Is a stab in my gut.
Not at the moment,
but once you leave.

The way you stare
as if the galaxies
are right in front of you.

The way you smile,
like you've discovered
a new type of hue.

Too bad you're looking at her,
and
not me.