I confess that I fear everything,
& coming out of my shell is yet to find!
Dear fears, I wish you could go for a vacation away from me!
with you I am hesitant as well as resistant all the time.
I don't know how to explain.
I wish I could let go of all of them
And do everything I ever wanted to do.
Thoughts keeps running across my mind
figuring no way out except thinking.
And my time is flowing fast enough...
I wish there was somebody to push me from the cliff
so that I could actually start living..
But, I get it, there is nobody except me
I have to push myself
Not for others but for myself.
I don't want to change for other but for myself..

Will I ever find you?
I do not chase now
I'm on my own
I left my desperation into the woods.
I am more of me, who stares to be still
quietly observing to its brim.

Will I ever find you darling?
To pour out my love but not too much
so as not to bore you out.
I would not empty myself to you
but to love you each day cautiously
one day at a time.

Will I actually find you ever?
You would grab me into your arms
and not leave me ever no matter how hard.
You would understand my poetry
and say nothing but give me love.
You would converse with me for hours
about art, poetry and new stuffs in life.
You would be angry and fight but holding me tight.

Oh! how I wish I could have found you by now
I just need your shoulder to cry.

Why do I choose darkness over light?
Is it that my brain is wired like that?
Is there actually so called darkness as my mind serves.
why is that my thoughts preoccupies over my mind and heart.
I see, hear nothing but a cry.
I have forgotten what happiness is as the days passes by,
And I'm entangled with my thoughts deserted not to be seen or heard.
At the end I isolate myself so that no one finds me!
Its enough for now, me and my thoughts
please choose different pathways
Its hard for me to be like that
crying out for help but in silence!

What if I say, I am not like the others?
Are you afraid of seeing my bloodshot eyes?
It ain’t a delusion of your vision
It ain’t a theory of your hostile mind
Its just an authority to reveal high
As you ****** up in the midnight.

What if I declare, I like to be a pothead?
It ain’t a crime of your filthy society
It ain’t a ****** of your hypersexual beauty
Its just a power to absorb black hole
As you get dissolved in the infinity.

What if we believe, we are united peace?
Our intoxication could never be slayer as your humanity diminishes  
Our immune could never be a flame as your democracy fire burns  
Our dealing could never be an acrid as your judgments villainous
Our indignation could never be a pretender as your sensibility veiled
Our lonesome shadow could never be a congress of love as your realization mortifies
And our congregation of morality must have been psychedelic painkiller.

What if we deny, we are insignificant existence?    
So, who are you crippling our bloodshot eyes, A Social featherbrain?
Who are you to stop having "dopetherone" in the town, A godly crusader?
Who are you to proclaim the rule against your mind, A phrenetic lawyer?

What if we deny, we are insignificant existence?  
What if we believe, we are united peace?

We will keep walking with our head held high.*

April' 2015