Walking in dim thoughts
with the sound of rain outside.
The dripping pattern takes
me on a pitter-patting journey.
I'm neither here, nor there,
and yet somewhere
I must be.
Craving to be healthy,
in mind, body and soul.
Content perhaps?
Aware of who I am
and who I will
always be.
Is anyone like this?
Really?
Or are we a collected
mass of android
arms reaching
lamely for
robot parts?
Artificial emotions that
fester out like
***** mud shoes left
in the hallway.
We yawn internally
to avoid the truth
that we are bored
with one another.

Raindrops continue, as
does my doubting heart
as it wraps around
the possibility of
funerals and
Requiem Masses.
Long faces and
sighing masking
the indifference
of striving.
Together in mood
but far apart
in disposition.

Carry on, rain,
carry on. Slip
your wetness
against the dry spell
of my perception.
I can see. Or, I can
close my eyes to
imagine that the
tomorrow of thought
becomes the infested
reality I will be living.

I spend too many
careless storms wishing
for other days to arrive.

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s *******. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
*-James Douglas Morrison

When asked what my drug of choice is
I could only narrow it down to this list:

Music or words,
Tea, ***, dreams
and the internet.

It's your voice that I woke up to,
drunken and low,
like a purr of the engine.

You tell me about this girl,
I've never heard you describe anyone like her before,
Nor have I heard you drunk.

She's the answer to your riddles,
the aches in your melody,
the voice you hear in your dreams.

You never told me her name,
And I'd be lying if I didn't say,
**I wanted her to be me.

We both hated each other,
I annoyed you,
You irked me.

A few months later

We became best friends,
I made you laugh,
you challenged me.

A few months later

We fell for each other,
I'd sneak glances at you,
You made me happy.

A few months later

We held hands,
I fell harder for you,
You may have for me too.

A Year Later

We grew up,
I changed,
You didn't like it.

I live for myself,
I don't worry about what others think,
I don't care if I'm not wearing make up,
at the end of the day I come home,
feeling happy,
because whatever I did,
I did
**for me