The room was ineffably dark,
The silence was deafening,
It was safe to say that I was utterly alone..

I walked,
And walked,
Until I could walk no longer.
I was searching
Searching for something that I don't know.

It was still dark
It was still silent
I was still alone.

It made no sense to continue any longer.
So I stopped.
And I waited,
Until waiting made no more sense.

And then He came..
First a glimmer,
And then a beam,
And then the room lit up,
Both suddenly and slowly.

He offered His hand and I took it.
Relief came unannounced.
The darkness,
The chasing,
The waiting,
And ultimately the surrender--
They all made sense.

Indeed,
There is beauty in surrender.

I'm here yet I'm not.
I exist yet I don't.
I care yet I didn't.
I'm found yet I'm lost.

She's ready.
He isn't.
She's willing to take the risk.
He isn't.

"I love you."
He whispered to no one
While watching her
Walk down the aisle
With her father
And him as a visitor.

I was never intended
To be toxic waste,
The girl spewing
Venom
With her words,
Acid dripping
From the corners of her mouth,
Living, breathing
Destruction.
So please don't share that fire with me.
Get it out of my face
And away from my lungs.
I don’t want your fumes
To poison me.