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I spent years trying to pick up
The pieces of a puzzle
That would never feel complete
And when I got close
To her completion
Death was there
To congratulate me

And after her passing
People continued to feel
Like problems and projects
Never getting too close
But somehow loving so much
Only to discard them
Like broken objects

And with you I found solace
In the illusion of completeness
Maybe I wouldn’t need to
Try so hard to bring happiness
To a man with little grievances

But much like my past
I found myself splitting
Apart at the seams
In order to love someone
Who needed me to put together
All of their broken dreams
Kat Schaefer Oct 2021
You are the sunshine
That pours into my car
In mid July

I have always savored
Your feverish embrace
That swaddles my
Anemic bones

And while I sometimes
Catch myself getting burned
By my steering wheel

I would rather kiss
The hot asphalt
Than return to someone
Who feels like January rain
Kat Schaefer Jan 2021
You’re a cup of black coffee
Bringer of comfort, reminder of home
But like my teeth, you have stained me
Beyond human repair
And the love that you now show
Only deepens the memory
Of who I was
Before I was yellow
Kat Schaefer Jan 2021
You are maple syrup
Unbearably sweet
And I like you on my tongue
But I know that you would
Surely rot my insides
If I indulged in you daily
Kat Schaefer Dec 2020
Do you remember Sunday mornings
When you told me how much
You loved the way I said “I love you”
You said it reminded you of
The marmalade your mother made
Which you spread on toast
Every morning for breakfast

You always found comfort
In a morning routine
Until you turned 17
When you no longer
Could stomach the sweetness
I guess like breakfast
You grew tired of me

Do you remember Friday evenings
When we drank captain and coke
And you told me how my presence
Reminded you of Christmas in 2003
The last yule you spent with your parents
Where there were cookies and presents
And not a single hint of your father’s affair

I guess it is true what they say
Like father, like son
Much like you, I no longer
Grow eager for Santa or sleigh bells
Instead I remember Christmas of 2019
When you said that you could never
Love someone as pathetic as me
Kat Schaefer Jul 2020
In life I have found that
Whiskey sours and old fashioneds
Will always be my greatest vice
As well as my closest confidant

The glass hits my lips
And within the next ten minutes
I am no longer compelled
To pick my cuticles

I no longer feel the wrath
Of anxiety’s unseen brush burn
Or depression’s mighty choke hold
For once, I can breathe easy

Every fleeting thought of total apprehension
Is replaced by feelings of contentment and bliss
But soon, my eyes become glassy
While my body grows weary

And I descend into a deep slumber
Slowly sinking into the barstool
With my head on the counter
In a blue collar town
Kat Schaefer Jun 2020
You were wrong to think
That your affection
Was to be tolerated
When it was a privilege
From the beginning

That your embrace
Had the ability to crumple
Her paper bones
When she was of
Bubble gum descent

That your laugh was
A summertime thunderstorm
When it is a gentle hum
That brings me comfort
Even on the darkest of days

That your smile was
A malevolent poker face
When it is a subtle reminder
That everyday I am with you
I hit the jackpot

And she was wrong
To scorn you for wanting
A love that was gentle
When she but was a rose
That was budding its thorns
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