everything we know
is human.
humans even create
explanations for nature
anything human
will come to an end
we can not build anything
to last forever
we can not feel
anything
to last forever
we can not
last forever
in a world built to expire
there is no infinite anything
all that is infinite is space
and it seems the world has little of that
i can't think of anything more powerful
than an infinite vacuum of anything you would love
to last forever


*     * * * * *     *
every inch of our world
drenched, by the same water
over and over

endless cycle of repeating voices
noises visions of the noisiest
hungriest tool of destruction

demolishing villages
filling our oceans
filling our glasses

i met you on the worst day
not for me or you, but for the world
that was the day the most single
stunning and burnt bright stars
were taken off the market
one swoop of our eyes meeting
flush as the one you love
you are what you eat

i meet the weirdest people
sleep with the strangest women
if only i had a letter to write
to myself , in the past

i would say
I'm gonna love her
till my legs, give out


here i am floating in the retroscope
loving my friends for their all a bouts
missing you missing me missing you
missing me

your lame body stretched out
skinny elephant in a pink dress
trapping my legs under your head
i couldnt drive
i could not swim
i could not
be anything

her heart will circumsize
the **** of every man
who doesnt fit her preference
a rose deep inside no peddles

her nose upturns the hopes
her hips a barren dance club
cosmetic intellect unintelligent
strips the pleasure from the moans

this other one is different in the right ways
but her age disgusts me like i disgust the righteous

Remember when you were a kid, Tiger?
days when I bit tighter, yet a lot lighter
jammed to the angels, on all nighters
yet we would never see anything ? then

Be on all four corners at once she said
hanging up on me -turning onto sixth
as if my head didn't know which way
was up , in the first place, call from an

unknown number asking for Marcus
Peoterroro ,yelling I say you ***** *****
calling me every **** night, right at the
click dial tone I'm still screaming more

shake down silhouette in a silkink stop
the car barely missing the sellout love of
my night life, like you barely missing  me
"i didn't even have to circle the block babe"
"i didn't even put on my better nightshade"

perfect plethora of a serpentine in her ******
hell to hand baskets in a switchblade seance
speaking directly to the man who killed my
fiance, and then dropped the dagger on my

doormat     cheer up you ******* doormat
i feel as if she slapped me, mourning nothing
but the format of the masterpiece, ****** her
in the back, at least, felt no hair nor thigh

nor  sympathy or wasted time, nor gluttony
raging sun of the twin, and moon of the son
of killing me slowly like nails on chalkboard
it running down our spine sinning jealously

doomed to be a rot, mother ******* sell out piece
while they sell their selves for ***, i do it for press
release me in my sad abortion of what i can't believe
counting down the days until my day job comes and
rescues me from  my celibate leave    , maybe

penny stuck to your back
roll over
this makes one cents all together
risky shivers of tongue
inyour ear
what makes you tick

why do i paint these papers red
when does an unpicked scab heal
what will we do when the trumpets play
who will be raining down from the heavens

this night burns slowly
my voice cracks woefully
sending me over the edge of lonely

out of the fog parted by light
us driving over the hill
after the sun had set
no closure

Dance on fickle heart strings
be ambiance on the dark streets, follow me home
  after every show, a ladder already built from the roots
    have we hacked off enough vines and dirt, to finally do this?
     either way here we are and for once i am truly happy to be here
       i wanna live, i wanna give, I've been a minor with you , now were
twenty and not searching , and now i just want money to buy you paint
Trip on hidden floor essence
  burn holes with close eye lid joints
   run from the cold in north new england
    Late night trips in our band rooms shadows
     of the light of candles and the city, single window
       rock me darling, been a miner for a heart of gold.

my loving arm wrapped around you
like it shouldnt be
like the wool dyed by the sheep
get closer to the color of wolves
yours  is now black in my dreams
still flows like the red of a slit throat
no matter how dead and lifeless you are

as all my aspirations turn to lust
its like at any moment your family will walk in
see me with you
and we will finally **** each other

what a brother you have
saving your mistaken innocence
for a king
where as i
am the prince of the darkest reconstruction
and he is my slave
unbenownst to himself.

princess im gonna dance on your grave
sing the happiest songs with the most morose words
and confuse another sunrise for the right to live
alone
on this thing they mistake for a planet

life on the moon
never got so hard
untill the king of darkness
shut us off from the universe

dont be so certain with me
you are always free to change
today a thirty year old said 20 till now
was too short
where did it all go i asked
the good times never seem to last
she said stretching the truth, my age, and my suit
i laughed and we had nothing more to talk about
she was stuck
not her life, no it was she
blocked behind the past that was playing before her mind

i wished i could be there
kiss her for the first time
when it wouldn't have been a matter of age
thanked her for the first random act of kindness she embarked on
held her during her first harsh break up
i couldn't
so i walked away
saying a common courtesy over my shoulder

its always the summer
where i chose to spend my time

its always the summer
in the darkest ***** of the winter

----------------
ads flood in like balloons
release with fireworks above
my chinese isn't that good
i just need to eat
wheres your nearest hostel
preferably one next to a mcdonalds
no excuse for comfort food?
right this way!, my profit

paralyzed
synchronized ceilings
thought it was my mothers
no mine
my room
my memories
touching
touching you
inside
its not as warm
as the Dead give away
im fading
dancing above this bed
collection of the
fading

i drew you once
blood we used to be friends
what happened
blood you were almost inside of me
what happened
blood music drifting in the windows
what windows
this room is windowless
when in doubt

comfort in voices hidden in my mind
i used to love you
ya you knew that
before you died
what happened
blood didn't need to be so cold

happenstance
ill ******* **** you
happenstance you cunning fool
happenstance, is my worst enemy folks
are you ready for the execution?

awake again. i can't remember
did i sleep
is this real
is there a light on
is that a tv

heart rate
skips

-----------------
here the sound of music drifting down the halls
the sound of prozac aloe vera the sound of smell
drifting all the same

man next to me can't tell his laughs from fears
tears separate the faint from the lack of faith
in front of his family of three  , jump in front of a moving train

no one is going down here no one is going up
this is the sound of everything you never wanted to hear
waiting for the day they let you feel

soul gaze and scream more
sending faint taps of morse code
my neighbors one of the wonders of the world


plumper , and no one cares
quieter , and no one can tell
no one care , no one can tell

-------
one of my favorite numbers
for who, i can't tell
but it means something
for when will they agree?

man fighting in the form of words
how stupid is he, to fight with spells
witchcraft the checkmate, one step bellow divinity?
without the divine, sorcery snaps the spine

here i am, with my horns showing again
they step around me on the streets,
when they used to rub against me
did they rub off?
my uncle used to file them down to less than stubs
400 bucks
no one will tell

here i am , yelling at you again
you said i was going to burn
thats a compliment
Dantes first levels freeze the weak

-----------

eagerly meak
give me a more simple smile please
let me know youre human

equally bleak
your words scattered across this page
lets get you out of your clothes

gravity takes over
so
you are with child i heard
does that mean we dont need timing
my stomach no longer turns
thinking of the pulling burn
pulling and pulling till it hurt

sometimes i want him back
we gave away such a fighter
how many times did we drink him away?
how many eyelids did we keep awake

i swear the whole apartment knew of our lust.

-------------------

crying me a river

no thanks
or apologies

-------------------

the bathrooms here smell like a hotel
did we mistake them for cleanliness?
latino hands and the beds tight as guillotines

side tracked minute of phone called wasted
are they still listening
sorry for the last time
what was it that i called you?
oh yeah-- the past

morose only word i know
for this - this woah that is - is me

stumble while kissing you
like i do when i lie the lie
that is
i love you

-----------------------
remember that night before our lips met?
sorry i mean the one in the cemetery
the night you lost your strength
was that all an act? you know
the self esteem?
no , not the way i kissed you
that was real
i mean the way that you really feel
about yourself , on this serpents wheel

send me away
please
stamps
boxes
peanuts
everything
send me away
iwannastiIIIive

------------------------

they say my phone privileges are switched with an extra shrink

eat me
drink me

--------------------

the last telegraph was explanation enough
I'm writing you again
sorry i haven't learned french

i dont know any of these instruments playing anymore
but i think they kinda sound like you
thanks so much for listening along
to the symphonies i make in my head


what would we do with each other he asked me



i answered by cutting him out of  my life







---------------------------

6 years later

--- the liar


-----------------------



i decided to stop telling the truth
and it worked
they let me out and off the meds
the good times never seem to last

they let me step off of the stage
easier than it was to get played
i tried the capsule and i tried the tablet
but i found the best thing was lighting money up
in smoke
the rain keeps reminding me of the times you would come
in the rain, i would feel closer to you again
when in the rain, i remember your funeral
and before that when i told you off
i never think of the space in-between
of when you could of thought of me

did you, dont answer
dont do anything but hug me