Standing over the porcelain sink,
I find a girl I don’t recognize anymore
staring back at me.
Her eyes are sunken and lifeless.
Her smile has long faded
and her once lively complexion
pale from the lack of sunlight.
I can’t stand to look at my broken self.
Hope and faith are my most elaborate forms of self harm.
With every new hope, I die a little more inside,
because I know that in the end of it all.
My light for life is slowly dissipating as
I am always being brought back to my best friend,
disappointment.

it's not so bad,
being alone that is
once your mind and soul
has turned numb
your body will follow
and it becomes okay

so when you ask me whether i'm lonely
i guess it would be accurate
for me to say yes and no
but it's okay really
i don't need pity and your useless love
because love doesn't get you through life in the end

you should try it some time
if you ever experience
something painful
come join me
in a shell of your own

we will sing the songs of past times
bright pink tinged with cold blue
and it will stop hurting for you
over time
when you become as numb as me

then you will see
that it's better to be lonely
than to be afraid

my nose tastes sour
and my tears feel hot
when will i
stop carving
reassurance
into my
skin?

I was going about on my normal day,
and then it just hit me

Sadness not only crossed my mind,
it took over my entire body.

Nothing even happened.

There was no trigger.

But all of a sudden my body just became blue.

My mind is upset,
my heart is racing,
my body is aching,
and I just don't want to move.

I was fine a second ago,
and then I just started hurting.

I'm in pain
and it's getting harder.

When I'm wide awake
At 4 AM
My mind still buzzing while my body is shaking
A tear rolls down my pale cheeks
As I clutched and pulled and begged at the sheets
My hands red, raw, with a thousand tiny lacerations
The train of my thoughts not stopping at stations
As my conciousness fades, an attempt to stall,
the inevitable breakdown.

And I fall
And fall.

Don't choose the one who's beautiful to the world

But the one who makes your world beautiful.