I’m trying to hold onto you,
Like rain in my hands.
But you slip, through the spaces between my fingers,
And the deluge is so heavy, and you sting my skin.
I cannot see through the rain in my eyes,
And my bones chatter with the chill,
But still I hold out my palms -
I try to fill them
I am so thirsty
I mustn’t spill
A single

Drop.

crashing waves, a siren call
though i don't need it, not at all
i come to you, my black abyss
pull me under, as i dehisce

i won't see you mourn for me
as i become the salt of the sea

A fire can roar and annihilate,
It flickers and fades into embers
Sometimes a fire needs to go out.

A fire can purge and cleanse,
It cauterises and sears into new life
Sometimes a fire needs to ignite.

I do not know how she lived,
Nor how she came to die.
Was she fair, or strong as iron
I cannot say but I

Stand above her, pondering her history.

Caroline. Buried lovingly,
Under tombstone of ivory
Now here she lay, to rest a day
Covered in tangled ivy.

The land taking claim of the cemetery.

I began carrying my regrets with me,
stuffed into plastic bags.

A heavy drag on my shoulders,
handles digging into my palms.

At least it would be easy to suffocate myself with them.

How could He not keep you, once He’d had a glimpse,
Of your incredible light and the supernova of your existence?
It would be selfish to think that we could hold onto you,
When your very heart was larger than all we know.

How could He not keep you, once He’d had you near,
Once he’d heard you sing His praises in reverence and joy?
It would be foolish to think that any being could know
Such a beautiful soul, and let it slip away.

How could He not keep you, once He’d seen your Grace,
Your gentleness and kindness, the way you showed us love?
It would be dishonesty to say that, all being said,
I wouldn’t have done the same.

How could anyone not love you, once they knew your soul,
The way you ran after Jesus, the way you inspired life in us all?
It would be a darker world had you not been in it,
If you had not walked alongside us, a breath of glorious sunshine.

We prayed that you would open your eyes,
But you opened them in Heaven.