After a while, the pain starts to subside,
And leaves you with a dull numbness.

However, the feelings never go away.
Your senses are fogged as are your thoughts.

Not knowing which way is up and which is down;
Right from wrong.

But then again, none of that matters.
All you are now is broken

Oh how the heart aches and
Ruptures your whole being.

It's funny how this vital ***** can make
You feel dead even though you sadly keep living.

Hilarious how it effects your soul and body.
Mind is cloudy.

Your thoughts are no more.
You are no more.

Now, you are just your heart-ache.
A painful throbbing inside your chest...

Reminding You Of What Used To Be.

My blood boils throughout my veins.
The rain pours down hard from the sky,
but my tears pour harder.
They make puddles at my feet,
deep enough to drown me in sorrow.
I'm so angry at you, but at the same time
I'm too overcome with grief to even care.
How could you love me, then leave me...?
What kind of love is this?
Why won't you rescue me from this ******* hole!?
Why the **** do you do this?
I can't take the in and out apperances.
One day you love me, the next you're gone.
I just want you to love me.
Forever and always...
But we both know, that is the impossible.

She looks into the mirror,
stares at her baby blue eyes, speckled with gold,
and wonders how such beautiful eyes could be placed with such an ugly creature.
"Her black hair is too long," they say, "it has many split ends!"
So she cuts it, right up to her chin.
"Her body is too curvy," they say, "lose a little weight!"
So she eats less and less every day.
"Her lips are too pink," they say, "let them be pale!"
So she stops dressing warm.
"And that voice! Hush child with the singing!"
She cannot seem to stop once it is released...so she stops speaking altogether.
Most people only judge her from jealousy...but they do not realize the toll their words have taken on her.
Little do they know, she hasn't eaten very much in the past few weeks, nor has she gotten much sleep.
But all you can see that now resembles beauty is those beautiful blue eyes deeply set into her unhealthy body that's being weighed down by others insecurities lashed out at her.
Are you happy now that you've ruined her life?

Friend: Hey!

Me: Hey!

Friend: How are you?

Me: I'm great! I'm happy...I think.

Friend: You think?

Me: Yea, like sometimes I think I'm really happy...and then other times, I'm not sure if it's all just a mask.

Friend: I understand completely. If you need anyone to talk to, I'm always here.

Me: Thanks. :)

Friend: You're welcome. :)

....Hi.
I don't know your story.
And you certainly don't know mine.
But we share the same things.
The same thoughts and pain.
I wish I could ease your broken soul.
Help understand, and make you see..
That you are more than you think you are.
You are a beautiful being...with a voice.
Your words paint a canvas of beauty.
The poems you write are inspiration.
Others look and read your work in amazement,
Thinking, "How does such a young girl...know so much pain."
I get chills, just piecing together what I know.
But just know....that you are **Beautiful.

But the rose is dying,
Can't you see?
The Beauty and the Beast,
Could never be.

With one glance, the rose looks,
as if it is in full bloom,
Yet, it is far from it my friend.
And it leads the unlikely couple to their doom.

Beauty and the Beast.
Love conquers all,
But every castle has a battle,
that leads to it's fall.

It's truly disgusting
how easy it is
to paint a smile
on your face...
even when you're at
your lowest...

Nothing could have prepared me for this day.
The day my soul dispersed.
The day when you went away.

Life is now gloomy and gray.
I knew from then on I was cursed.
Nothing could have prepared me for this day,

There was nothing no one could say.
Words just made everything worse.
The day when you went away

My feelings will now decay.
Turning me around in reverse.
Nothing could have prepared me for this day,

That moment just chooses to replay.
The day death got you first.
The day when you went away

Now forever my heart will stray.
Wishing the day you died, it burst.
Nothing could have prepared me for this day,
The day when you went away.

If I were a song, I'd be a long sadistic chord full of woes and sorrows.
My song would make the angels cry and bring even the mightiest to their knees.

If I were a song, I'd be forever; an infinite thing. I'd never be forgotten.
My song would live in infamy and no one would forget this song full of broken dreams

If I were a song I'd sing until I no longer could. I'd scream until my heart gave out.
My song will be everlasting.
It will live on...I will live on...

Life can be cruel sometimes,
so cruel that you have to ask,
"Why am I here?"
Fate has so many twists and turns.
From one extreme to the next.
Unbearable.
Intolerable.
Unacceptable.
I never knew my life would
amount to this.
God, help me get through these
following years of Hell on Earth.
Give me the strength to pull through....

I have a confession.
I didn't know you'd be the one to hurt me.

I have a question.
Why wouldn't you try harder? For us?

I have a confession.
I'm ready to cut the ties.

I have a question.
Did you really ever even love me?

I have a confession.
I wish I knew how to cope with loneliness.

I have a question.
Was it all a lie? All a joke?

I have a confession.
I'm as a bitter as the coffee I was drinking that dreadful morning, when you broke my heart.

I've learned a lesson.
Never trust the ones who seem harmless, they, like all people, will just end up hurting you.

You know……you said that you'd never hurt me……
Well thanks for the ******* lies.
******* too.

Blue.
His eyes are so amazingly blue that they could fill an ocean with their depth.
They're almost crystalized and fragile.
Glass eyes; if they shed a tear, they would surely break.
His eyes see more than just plain sight; ironically, it's almost as if they can see into the souls of all around him.
His eyes can see the real quality of a person for all they are.
Underneath all of the games and masks, he can see who I am.
Blue.
Eyes that blue could make the sky jealous of it's vastness and color.
Steel Blue, my favorite shade.
His eyes are beautiful, and if possible, I'd like to lose myself in them for a while.

She didn't do it for the attention.
She just wanted the pain to end.
She didn't know people would stare,
When the cuts started fading in.

It was just a temporary dose,
Of a different kind of pain.
Physical, instead of mental.
She knew that she wasn't insane.

She wasn't crazy as everyone might say.
Everything just got out of hand,
And the kids at school bullied her.
She cut, so that she could travel to a different land.

So one night while her parents were fast asleep,
She cut down the river, but went too deep.

Her life flashed before her eyes and everything went black,
She had got what those kids had hoped for, and never came back.

You told me,
Not to cry over you,
But that was before
You got pleasure,
Out of breaking,
Fragile hearts.

Your mouth like poison,
Your lips like wine.
Intoxicate my senses,
Every single time.

My vision's hazy,
Blurred with a high.
Makes you look more desirable,
With every single lie.

My heart starts to beat,
Eradictly so.
Hurting my chest,
With all of its woes.

You confuse my thoughts,
I can't tell up from down.
Stop making me feel this way,
It hurts to cry and not make a sound.

Isn't it perfect, how what people say,
Can simply just ruin your whole entire day?

Words hurt just as much as bruises,
It's a hopeless fight, everyone loses.

"Funny" jabs will never not hurt,
So look around and be alert.

Don't break down, don't cry,
There are other ways to get by.

Ignore the negative things you're told,
Let those things turn into a beautiful mold,
Of Yourself.

The wind blows across my face, my hair smacking my cheeks with a sting.
The smell of flowers and fresh air fill my nostril with their sweet aroma.
I love the way the sun shines brightly, heating my body with its warmth.
It’s wonderful to have spring in my life.
Spring is the season of new beginnings.
It represents the start of a life.
While winter is dreadful, representing death and cold,
Spring is happiness in the gift of beauty.

I've found someone.

Someone I know loves me for all that I am.

And I love him too.

I've never been happier than right here and now.

He makes me feel wanted..

And that's all anyone ever wants to feel.

Wanted.

They said to sing out our hearts,
But they didn't know that our hearts were already severed.
Already in two and apart,
Nothing could mend them together.

So one said, "Go ahead rip it out!"
Another, "Yea! Let's eat our hearts out!"
They tore and clawed through the muscle, but didn't feel a thing,
And ate out their hearts so they never again had to sing.

I wish I wasn't broken.
I wish I wasn't so "vain."
Apparently I'm "egotistical"
And drive quite a few people insane.

But how is this so,
When I'm so insecure?
And I can't ever help myself,
for always wanting more.

Why judge one for smiling,
Because you're not?
Just because I'm making sweet memories,
And you're making less than lot.

Don't judge a book,
By it's cover.
You never know exactly,
what lies under.

Roses bloom...
But they also die.
It'll be morning soon,
Another day full of lies.

Roses are expensive,
Just like pure gold.
The world around you fills up your senses,
each passing minute, getting old.

Roses are easy to burn,
like all beautiful things.
And yet, people never learn,
how much love could bring.

The Roses are dead,
and nothing is left.
The nations have bled,
Not hearing one another, believing to be deaf.

Love is a game of give and take,
But what happens when that heart starts to break?

Too much love and too much sorrow,
Causes a yearning of a better tomorrow…

Beauty dies, angels blow away.
I scream with my memory forever of you.
Makeup covers your lips and cheek.
I scream, you really pick a fight.
Not there, one night,
No one saved the love.
Always in my heart,
I only dream I’ll fall in love with someone else now.
Running more,
Hoping to never remember you.

Do they notice?
Can they see what she's doing to herself,
To become Perfect?

Her mind is overwhelming her with thoughts like:
"Is that a whole bite of food?"
"Wow, packing on the calories."
"Why can't you be skinny?"
"Why the hell are you so **** fat!?"
"Wow, you're really letting yourself go."

So she puts it down and nibbles instead.
Each day decreasing her meal size.
And no one notices, oh but she does.

She looks into the mirror and stares at her body....
She smiles at her ribcage poking out,
At her hips bulging unnaturally.
"I'm finally perfect," she says, "I can finally stop doing this and eat."

Then she's slapped back into her reality. "Are you kidding me?!"
"Look at those fatty thighs!"
"And oh that tummy has got to go!"
"That needs to be changed immediately!"

So she continues with her ways.
Just needing to be Perfect.
But do they notice?
.....Did they ever?......

With my bones broken and my blood flowing, I'll continue to love you, even though you're killing me...
•e.t.

I flew so fast, racing down towards my demise.
My pride was injured, that is all.
No need to cry now.
When I fell, no one was there to catch me...
They let me get cut and bruised.
I never wanted to feel this way.
They made me curse and shout and deny their "wrong"
But truth be told, I wasn't right either.
When up so high on that power of smugness,
I took a hard fall and crashed down from my pedistal...

It finally happpened!
I've become friends with the impossible!
The poor girl still doesn't know how I wish I was her.
We are now friends, and talk regularly.
My goal has been reached, so now I need A further one. A risky one...
And so for now my envy
Has been quenched....
But not for *long

Do you ever look back at old photos..and just the memory is so strong,
That it brings you back in such a deep pull,
That you can almost place yourself right in that photo, sitting in your best friend's car...
You can almost smell your surroundings, like the interior of her car and the freshener.
You can almost remember exactly how you felt in that moment--
You can think of how happy you were, how things were changing for you...

But now they're just memories and they can not be relived again, only remembered.

I'd like to say that I've conquered all of my demons...but I haven't.
I still think of you.
I still listen to the voicemail I saved that you sent me a year and a half ago.
My heart still pounds when I hear your voice, just continuously hoping you'd say, "I love you" again.
But tonight, I willed myself not to give in.
I can't give in to you anymore.
Besides...there's no use in crying over a lost cause.

She'll admit,
she's not particularly
proud of some
of the things
she has done,
but everyone makes
mistakes....
...right?
Somtimes,
she feels like
complete ****.
More worthless
than dirt on the
bottom of her shoes.
She has many regrets.
She has many memories,
that she'd like to erase,
but in the end, it all
makes her human....
*....right?

i thought i could be the girl

who would change you for the better

and everyone would know me as

the one who saved you from yourself.

Oh my god.
Are you ******* kidding me right now?
This world turned to complete ****.
How is a teenager, maybe younger, going to block text someone and tell them to **** themselves.
"You're so fat, it's not even funny. Why don't you cut a little deeper the next time your slit your wrists. I hate you and so does everyone else."
Do you even know what words can do to someone?!
I swear to god, if that happened to me, I'd probably go ahead and do as they said.
That's the worst thing to say to someone. Basically the lesson is that:
Words can Cut just as Deep as Knives, so think about what you say. They can have a greater effect on someone than you think.

Did you ever have that moment in your life, when you find something out, that you wish you never found the answer to?
That deep dark secret, you were always curious about, but afraid to know?
That moment you want to crawl into a hole and die?
I'm there...I'm so there.

His eyes are like glass, but stone cold.

I feel like the one who is close to shattering. I can't be the strong one.

What's wrong with me.

I miss him.

When we’re young, all we can think about is growing older.

I remember when I was 11 years old, I could hear myself saying how all I wished was to be 16 years old. (Funny, I know, but when I was 11, the cool age was 16!). And now that the time has gone and passed, it feels eerie thinking about how young I once was and how you never really see how much you change over time.

I look at myself now, 20 years old, and haven’t come to terms with how I don’t want my life to pass by too quickly. Everyone says that high school goes by before you know it; for me it did. Even as I go through the motions of college, it’s flying by me.

Each day on the calendar is another mark I check off as passed.

Everyone is always looking forward to something; like a work party next Friday or even dinner on Sunday, but no one ever really stops to live in the moment.

We as people, are always looking forward and reminiscing the past, but never live in the present. And funnily enough, as each day passes, you can’t tell you’ve grown or aged.

As each birthday passes, do you actually feel any older?

Until one day you wake up in the house you own with your significant other, possibly with kids, going to the same job for 15+ years, what happened to your life?

Did you feel yourself getting older? I know this is out of the blue, but it’s scary to think how quickly life passes you by, until one day it’s over.

That’s why we should always remember the good times in the past, but not stay in them; we should always think about the future and strive for better things…but we should always remember where we are. Right here and right now.

Live for today, before you run out of tomorrows.

Your limbs are withered and gray,
Your leaves are crumpled and torn.
Your roots hold you in dismay,
Mother Earth lets you mourn.

This world is killing you,
These people don't care about your health.
Even the sky isn't as blue.
People nowadays only care about their self.

Yet, no one notices, no one minds,
Everything is dying,
Even your pines.
But not a soul knows, that you're crying.

Soon you will die and wither away,
But the world will just go on like everything's okay....