i was trying so hard and
put everything on the
line just to see you
i did everything i could to
build you up while you
were too busy tearing
me down to notice
but now that i've given up
you want to see me more
than ever and you need
me in your life?
i refuse to be a doll
sitting on a shelf
in the back of
your mind

Don't say I didn't love you
And don't say we couldn't try
Don't say you didn't treat me right
Because you always kept me from the lies

I didn't have a real close friend growing up
I didn't have a confidant, a bestie, a trusty pal
I hid my secrets with men whose years were so far away from mine that they couldn't hear my cries for help

That changed last night at 2:13am
Because it wasn't until we were lying on the floor in the kitchen
Discussing our fears and our doubts
Eating ham and cheese croissants
Gazing up at the plaster ceiling as if it was the night sky
That I realized

You are my best friend

i will stop writing poetry like a eulogy when you start making me feel alive