TRIGGER WARNING- ABUSE

cold, colder yet colder.
i watch as his eyes fill with rage.
from being a strong shoulder
to cry on, to being impossible to engage.

as red as blood can be,
as blue as bruises can get.
i pray and hope no one sees,
or again i'll face another threat.

if love were enough,
scars and bruises i'd ignore.
but reality is just that tough,
one day i might just turn to gore.

all i ask is for you to treat me as your equal,
so i don't have to fight with all my might.
all i ask is to be loved the same way you love my brothers
is it not only right?
all i ask is to be recognised when i achieve,
without dismissive comment.
all i ask is for you to allow me to express myself freely,
to be free of judgement, even if just for a moment.
all i ask i to not be the one to blame,
when i had to face the torment of assault.
all i ask is for this to come to an end,
please just bring it to a halt.

dead in the night
all alone
dead inside

eyes wide open
glued to the ceiling
gone all mental healing

all the overthinking
praying for redemption
followed by slow blinking
for shame, i'm left with feelings of abnegation.

dear society,
ive done everything you asked.

what more could you want?

sitting there, looking pretty
i can't help but wonder
starting to feel a little witty
hope i don't make a blunder

eyes lock, and you beckon me closer
and of course
hope you don't think i'm a loser
in your delirium, giving me the source

fingers touch, electricity courses through my veins
my eyes go wider
as i look down and confusion pertains
who the **** gets drunk on apple cider?

oh how sad it must be,
to constantly cast that hateful gaze
can't let yourself be free?
just don't leave your heart out to catch ablaze

much like that of a flea,
you cling to things
that people have flung out into the open sea
not quite sure what satisfaction that brings

but ok boomer

to live day by day
watching the clock tick away,

what is it all for?
yet, here i am.