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Jun 2017 · 228
so close
Austine Jun 2017
retrace the steps to get to you
revisit the memories built on hopes

no matter where i look
there is no corner that does not remind me of you
that does not take me to the place i went to with you

i don't know where to go now
but i hope -
wherever i'm going
even if it's the farthest of the roads -
i hope you will follow me
and lead my way
back home
Austine Jul 2015
With the wisdom that your tongue spells out beneath those lips
With the wondrous adventures ahead of us that we have to to explore
With your lovely, lovely personality that redesigns and navigates me whenever I feel indefinite
With all my tomorrows spent with contentment for I have you, like the ocean that never ends
With all of you that makes all of me glow
With your laughter echoing in my ears
With the warmth of your hand like the setting of the afternoon sun
With your eyes, deep and calm like my own pool of serenity and peace of mind
With your body as my cocoon amidst my fragility over things I cannot control
With your voice like the summer breeze flowing swiftly through my ears
With your existence in my life still remaining a mystery I wouldn’t want to solve just so we’ll remain as two cosmic drifters getting lost but feeling more found than ever
Nov 2014 · 814
On Missing You
Austine Nov 2014
It was morning
The sunlight peeped through
My half-closed window
And greeted me with warmth
That was so golden it burnt

The cool breeze from
The night before -
Gone, like I never pulled
My blanket so close to me
As sleep rocked me back and forth

It was morning
And my heart weeped
When I realized that
I was here and
You were there
I missed you -
I tried not to -
But oh ****,
I ached when I was not
Where you were
Jul 2014 · 688
Leave
Austine Jul 2014
I am slowly burying myself in dust and bones.
But I want to live.
I sleep in the hollow and wake up with scraped ribs and claw marks all over my body.
But I want to live.
I drown and I inhale oblivion to survive.
But I want to live.
I want to see but I cannot tell the difference when my eyes are sealed shut and open wide.
But I want to live.
My head wobbles from the heartless fall.
But I want to live.

**I want to live.

I want to live.

I want to live.
Jun 2014 · 600
whirlwind
Austine Jun 2014
if you are the whirlwind,
i would fly straight to you
i would embrace you without fear
i would chase you
and keep you company
while the others fall back in fright

swirl by swirl,
i will let myself be caught in a trance
that i will never want to escape from

as i orbit you,
i will realize there is no place else
i would rather be -
just there,
in the middle of chaos and wreckage,
with you
Jun 2014 · 4.0k
FORGET
Austine Jun 2014
Remember that stretch in the crack of dawn
Late we both were so I thought I had companion
I ran fast towards you and deafeningly called on
But you walked past me in the hallway and waved a yawn

Remember those mornings in our classroom
When there was no other feels than gloom
You’d suddenly crack a joke and keep us abloom
You’d give us a good laugh and avert the doom

Remember the countless lunch times we shared
You’d go to the canteen and I’d have mine prepared
Then you’d come to me and ask for candy I had spared
I’d hand you one or maybe two as if I was compelled

Remember the sunlit afternoons, humid and hot
Obliged to take a nap but there’s no problem on that
When I couldn’t, I’d look out the window overlooking a vacant lot
And some random times I’d find myself glancing at your spot

Remember the twilight spent at some place
You came to me and all of a sudden broke into my own space
I went forth to desist looking at your adorable face
But you went after me and caught me in a chase

Remember that night when everything was easy
We talked for hours and not cared about the others, really
You leaned closer and made me breathe barely
You and me were finally we and I couldn’t help but be happy

Remember some other nights when we had it rough
When we felt like giving up and everything just wasn’t enough
But we unceasingly came out  tough
We swept every worry and hurdle in our path with a laugh

Remember that other night in the busy city
Under the beautiful night sky in the hour so early
You walked beside me and held my hand tightly
It was cold and windy but with you I felt summery

There was also a night I can remember precisely
Your eyes were locked on mine deeply
I repeatedly swore I’d hold you forever dearly
And you whispered, “Don’t worry, sweetie, till doomsday you got me.”

But as much as I would like the night to never end
The sun didn’t want the moon, stars and serene darkness to extend
It rose above quickly and it hurt so bad to see it transcend
Hence I woke up that morning being just your old friend.
May 2014 · 10.7k
paalam
Austine May 2014
gigising at muling sasabihin
na kakayanin at tatanggapin
mag-isa ko nga bang haharapin
bigat ng aking damdamin?

iiwanan mo rin ba
ang puso ko na binuhay mo pa
sana di na lang nag-abala
para ngayon ay tanggap ko na

ayoko na, tama na, awat na
pakiusap ko, sinta
malabo na ako'y makabangon pa
kung puso mo sa aki'y magsara

hayaan, iwanan, paalam
palayain sa baging
na ako rin ang naghaing
bitawan, wag sundan, paalam
May 2014 · 3.4k
Silence
Austine May 2014
i like to listen to the silence of the night
because beneath the deafening stillness
and gruelling vagueness that it holds are
the sound of your breathing that i sync with mine
the chuckles you make when i say a bad joke
the rustle of sweet words you mutter to my ear
the disarming roughness of your voice when you talk

i like to listen to the silence of the night
because its warmth is my brief escape from loneliness
and its noise is calm and inviting
and because for a moment, no matter how quick,
silence takes me to you
I love you. I hope you know I do. :(
May 2014 · 1.4k
hurt
Austine May 2014
when
you said ****
instead of love
May 2014 · 258
(still) for me
Austine May 2014
“You are
too idle
to live
yet
too busy
to die.”
It's the morning after the storm and you are welcomed by the wreckage.
(c) kjr
May 2014 · 576
a poem for me
Austine May 2014
you are
too busy
to live
yet
too idle
to die
May 2014 · 259
on the verge
Austine May 2014
here’s the part
where i beg you
to not let me
push myself away

i search for your hands
and i find nothing but air
how odd it is to lose something
so precious and loved this early

i look at the mirror and smile
but the girl staring back at me
has chains for her lips
and knots for her heart

i want to fathom what’s blurry
and make crystal out of doubts
but i’m hurting and
sadness won’t let go of me

isn’t it too early
for us to get used to this?
isn’t it too much of a waste
to forget the promises we’ve made?

it’s summer but it feels like
winter beneath my chest
my hands are cold and they're slipping away
please drag me back up if you must

i see the rain like they're my tears
they form flood around me
enough to make me drown
but where are you?

i don’t want to walk away
i don’t want another apology
i don’t want to forget your name
i want you, need you, love you
May 2014 · 374
incertitude
Austine May 2014
maybe we’re just two souls
longing to be found
maybe we’re just two persons
wanting another chance

i lay my soggy crest
on my favorite part on his chest
i listen to the rhythmic sound
of our synchronized breathing whirling me around
oh, how i wish i could just lay here
and keep this moment i endear

i lean closer intimately
and feel his heart throbbing invincibly
i count the beats it creates
as for sleep, he awaits
oh, this serenity is priceless
dear, how i wish we were timeless

i close my eyes and delight in
the musing that we’re about to begin
the rest of our lives together
oh, i wish we can always weather
all the storm we’re about to encounter

and then i thought
maybe i’m now found
maybe he’s my another chance


*she lays her head on my chest
and charms me with the smell of lavender
emanating from the strands of her hair
oh, i wish the smell would stay
if she ever decides to run away

she leans closer
and i nearly constrict her
but she doesn’t seem to mind
oh, i’ll always have this moment on rewind
if she ever wills to leave me behind

she closes her eyes
and i wonder where her mind flies
oh, my little angel in disguise
my unparalleled prize
she takes me on my highs
oh, i hope i can bypass my demise
if she finally states her goodbyes

and then i thought
maybe someone else will find her
maybe she’s someone else’s another chance
May 2014 · 11.6k
paglisan
Austine May 2014
sa pagsasalubong ng araw at buwan
hindi ko pa rin magawang tumahan
ilang oras na nang ika’y lumisan
pero pagbabalik mo’y patuloy pa ring inaasahan

karapat-dapat bang hintayin
ang pag-ibig na hindi na sa akin?
mananatili pa rin ba akong sabik
sa iyong mga yakap at halik?

sa paglalim ng gabi
tila ang mga bituin ang pumapawi
sa sakit na dulot ng iyong labi
na siyang dahilan ng aking mga hikbi

hindi ba’t ikaw ay nangako
na sa laban na ito’y di ka susuko?
hindi ba’t ikaw ang sumuyo
at sa aki’y noo’y nagsumamo?

sa pagbabalik ng araw
alam kong di na kita matatanaw
ang hiling lamang ay agad malusaw
itong pag-ibig na di mo pinukaw
May 2014 · 1.8k
unfair
Austine May 2014
and it’s always unfair
to count upon
the promises he built
only to find yourself
the only one
grieving
in the end.

it’s always unfair
to be left alone
with only fractions
of who you used to be
as the flashback of memories
flooded you
drowned you
and
left you
useless
lifeless
and all the while
directionless

it’s always unfair
how he believed
that it’s just fair
to leave you
hanging and
seeking for answer
because for him
it’s what
will hurt you lesser

it’s just so unfair
to have yourself
give all you’ve got
and not be given
even just a tiny bit
back

it’s just unfair
so unfair
that you ended up
hopeless
that you stopped
longing it to be fair
because
it’s always, always going to be
pointless
May 2014 · 335
Suppress
Austine May 2014
I won’t forget his name
On my tongue, it lingers
And stays with the flame
He leaves with the touch of his fingers

A warm peck on my forehead
Ends up giving me shock, widespread
Quick and shallow but it leads us to the bed
And so everything else remains unsaid

Along with his sweet kisses
Come the soft brushes
Of something squishy and fleshy
Deep and heavy

Wherever his lips touch
A breath or two, I try to catch
Will I ever get enough
Or will this soon be another bluff?
May 2014 · 380
take me back
Austine May 2014
please take me back
take me back to the place
where even green grasses
that spike my legs
with its unblunted tip
speak of your presence
where flowers welcome me
as i get within your vicinity
with your breathtaking scent
grazing the parts where
my skin stays unsheltered
where the water that i sip
sways from my lips like waves
thrilled to reach the shore
please take me back
take me back to the place
where i remain a part of you
where love doesn’t wear off
and does only develop
into something bigger than
what my words can epitomize
where my name nests in solitude
in your vocabulary
please take me back
take me back to the place
the place next to you
May 2014 · 424
deteriorating
Austine May 2014
i have always hungered
for sleep that wouldn’t come
for words that are only whispered
for touch that is warm and soothing
because i’ve stayed up late for nothing
i have opened my ears but got not a word
i have been held but only coldness was there
and sometimes i drift and wonder if there is really
something that would come find me and take me away
from this shadowed place of vagueness and obscurity so i
could see the light from the other side and savor the absence
of deafening solitude and desolation that have concealed me from
the glimmers of hope, certainty, and promises that are never broken
will that something ever find its way to me? because i’m cloaked and hidden
in this unlit abode where my unhappiness and wounds that medicines
cannot cure dwell. and i am growing tired and weary of carrying all
the troubles i have saved up for myself without wanting to and
here i am still asking for someone, something to finally alight
and save me from further deteriorating while i can still be
mended and fixed so at long last i would be able to start
anew and revive myself. i need both of your hands
to come grab me from being beyond repair and
your voice that’ll tell me everything’s going
to be alright even whilst i’m still lacking
sleep, words, and touch that i’ve
hungered for from the start.
Please always be the one who saves me.
May 2014 · 224
02/14
Austine May 2014
What a beautiful morning
to wake up on your side of bed -
now empty of you and your smell.

There was a warning
and I got it misread
now I can’t get out of your spell.

Are you still coming
or are you waiting until I’m dead
to release me from this cell?

I dine alone, love
and the seat across from me
where you’re supposed to be
is empty.

So I dine alone.

I
dine
alone
2012's valentine's day wasn't this bad
May 2014 · 216
All yours
Austine May 2014
Close your eyes
and feel nothing but the way the wind caresses your skin;
hear nothing but the breeze that passes by your ears;
see nothing but the oblivion that lies before you

Inhale the vagueness and exhale the clarity
Fill your lungs with the bliss of
having this time to yourself
and let it flow throughout the rest of your body

Be as carefree as you can be for this moment,
this time,
is yours
and nothing and no one can ever
take this away from you
except yourself

Let the wind take you somewhere
you’ve never been to ever in your life
and enjoy the ride

Embrace the reality that
no one can ever tell you
where you are exactly heading off to -
not even the wind who is your most recent friend -
and just simply let it be

Fabricate your own wings,
make your own shoes,
and recognize you can create time
whenever you think there is not enough
of it left for you to spend
or waste

This is your life to live,
your time to take,
your wings to spread off,
your journey to explore

Close your eyes
and savour these things

For they are all yours.

All yours.

All

Yours.
May 2014 · 203
idfkok
Austine May 2014
don’t rush, love
you’ll get there in time
and i’ll be following you
wherever, whenever, however
just don’t
rush
May 2014 · 5.5k
Kumusta na tayo?
Austine May 2014
Kumusta na raw tayo, ang tanong nila
Ewan, malay ko kung kumusta na nga ba
Tayo

Simpleng tanong na hindi ko alam ang sagot
Ano nga bang nangyari sa
“Tayo”?

Inisip ko ang nakaraan
Pinagmasdan bawat pagpatak ng ulan
Hinanap ang kislap
Ngunit tila hindi pa rin sapat
Upang mawari ko ang sagot
Sa tanong na bumabalot
Sa ating mga puso
Na pulos nagbabalatkayo

Kumusta na tayo?
Anong nangyari sa magandang kahapon?
Bakit sa aking muling paglingon,
Ikaw na rin ay nakatalikod?
Hindi ba’t iyong sinabi
Na sa piling ko ika’y mananatili?
Bakit sa bawat paglakad mo
Ikaw ay palayo nang palayo?
Hindi ba may usapan tayo
Na sa akin ka patutungo?
Nasaan na ang mga pangako
Na sinabi **** di mapapako?

Kumusta na tayo?
Ikaw lang ang sagot.
May 2014 · 206
night
Austine May 2014
the moon beamed at you
when you said my name
with your voice, deep and sincere

the stars danced in the night sky
when your eyes, wishful and longing,
held my gaze for a moment that
seemed nothing less than eternity

the world stopped
when your lips curved into a smile
while they were gently touching mine

and the sun never dared to come out
to shatter our dimmed luster
for he knew this was
going to last
forever
May 2014 · 224
for you
Austine May 2014
he knows his way with words
he manages to take me to places
with every conception of sentences he makes

i stay seated on my place
consummately delighting in his utterance
and unknowingly,
i am transferred to somewhere else,
wandering and savoring the destination

no matter how gloomy the day is,
he knows exactly the right words
to lift up my mood and make everything okay

his words are the bandages to my wounds,
the sun glasses when the sun shines so bright,
and the umbrella when the skies cry

his words are all I have now and
i’ll treasure these until he finally
finds his way back to me

until he finds his voice
to speak these words to me
once more
May 2014 · 210
saved
Austine May 2014
the wind whispers your name
as it touches my ears
and send thrills
running down my sleeping heart

you wake me up again
and i feel the burst of energy
i’ve concealed for years

then it’s concluded
i need no one else’s but
your saving
May 2014 · 238
i saw myself falling
Austine May 2014
i saw it
i saw myself
i saw myself falling
i saw myself falling for you
i saw you waiting for me to fall for you
with your arms patiently waiting to grab a hold
of the parts of me you’ve come to love, of that one dream
you’ve been waiting for your whole life to finally be real, of me and
everything that’s in between. but the gravity wasn’t strong enough to keep me falling. so i floated  away, farther, yonder, and left you with not  a word left to say
If only I could turn back time, I sure would.
May 2014 · 239
there is no you
Austine May 2014
i made you up but
there is no you
i thought i had you but
honey, there is no you

there
is
no
you
May 2014 · 1.3k
My Demise
Austine May 2014
I stopped wearing mascara and eye-liner already.
2. There’s a ball within my gut that is benumbing my insides.
3. I look at my hands and they are trembling.
4. This is bad.
5. I’ve always known how fatal impulsion and indecision are but I never listen to myself.
6. I have my walls up but the dragon is inside, slaying every beauty I fabricated with his gigantic strength.
7. I bring handkerchiefs everywhere I go now.
8. This is bad.
9. I had been given three cards to bring into play in order for me to save myself.
10. I’ve used them all already.
11. This is bad.
12. I’m still trembling.
13. The dragon wouldn’t have been here to slaughter me and my kingdom if I hadn’t invited him in.
14. I hear his words over and over again. They sing melodies of his beautiful promises and endearments. Did I make them up inside my head? Why won’t they stop?
15. A tear left a **** across my cheek. I didn’t wear mascara.
16. It’s dark. Did the light burn out?
17. This is bad.
18. There has been an explosion from my innards. I’m all over the place. My pieces are everywhere.
19. I thought he was a prince. How could the dragon’s disguise look so real? I fixed my gaze at him (or it?) and he (or it) looked so gentle. Why is he (or it) burning my garden with his fire breath that is this cold?
20. I used to not bring handkerchiefs. I always lose them. But I have to now.
21. It’s so dark. I can’t see. Where is the light?
22. I’m lost.
23. This is bad.
24. I don’t need handkerchiefs. The tears are overflowing and they’re making an ocean around me.
25. This ocean is drowning me and I’m slowly reaching the depths of it. Will I ever re-surface?
26. I’m drowning. There’s no more air in my lungs.
27. I see the dragon. It’s hovering over me. Does he also want to wreck this ocean? Like my kingdom was just his warm up?
28. This darkness seems better than the light.
29. I can only be saved thrice. I’ve been saved thrice already.
30. Is this my end?
Austine May 2014
My dear light up in the sky

You are the star I stare at through my window
When I lie awake in bed at night

You twinkle next to the moon
and I watch as you change colours -
captivating every watcher with every flick of every hue

A speckle in a shadowed blanket
That glitters in the darkness
You may just be a tiny dot up there to others
But to me, you equal the world

The moonlight shines next to you
But you hold my gaze
And I can never look away
Like you are the star in the night sky
And the night sky itself, altogether

I wonder how the others could sleep
Without first glancing at your magnificence
Because I couldn’t, dear, I couldn’t
The period before sunrise has never been so dark
As when there is an absence of you
So stay, please stay, don’t wander off far away

But my hands start to reach out to you
My mind hopes you would fall so I could catch you
My heart mourns for all the ways I can never get close to you
My body aches for the lack of wings so I can fly to where you are
My feet want to jump sky high but it never can
I just want you, need you
Closer, closer

Am I only meant to marvel at your beauty from afar?
Your gleams send me buoyancy and I just want to remain afloat
But my dear celestial body, you’re out of my reach
But my star, you’re leaving when the sun ascends tomorrow
Will it be selfish of me to take you away from the night
And keep you to myself?
Because I want to, need to
Gravely, gravely
May 2014 · 702
A Baggage Full of Hope
Austine May 2014
A baggage full of hope
With fragments of dreams and ardor
Desiring to get up to the *****
Where she’ll find her own harbor

A baggage full of hope
In ceaseless heedful caress
Not wanting to ever elope
Amidst the melody she cannot express

A baggage full of hope
Packed for the long journey to Utopia
Wishing to just remain afloat
In a night sky with stars in cornucopia

A baggage full of hope
Drenched in a swamp of sorrow
Will she still be able to cope
And be saved from being hollow?

A baggage full of hope
A casket of ambition, lost and lifeless
Will holding on to the obtrusive rope
Bring her back up and leave her boundless?
May 2014 · 363
We'll Get It Right
Austine May 2014
With the days that pass by
Along with the moments we hope to leave behind
Come the lingering feeling
Of what should have clearly been

As the contingency gets scanty
And the feelings, grievous and empty
Even with desperate cries for help
Why do I stay incurably unheard?

I extend my arms and try
Try as I might to fly
For when they say follow your heart
It’s with you I want to start

Yet my hearing must be impaired
'Cause it hears your voice that says we'll not end
Tell me how could I not hold on to these words
When in my heart they broke through, heard

As we dare and lose a zillion times
As our laughs retrogress to cries
As the hugs turn into meters apart
Does the end really need to be that we depart?

Then here I hope that all the pain leads us farther
That the past was nothing but a mere poseur
'Cause when we again find one another
It’s up to the flame we cannot smother
One day, I'll find my way to you once again. One day, I'll never let go ever again.
May 2014 · 254
she never was the brave one
Austine May 2014
coffee stained her teeth
and smoldered her tongue
as she choked on a cupful
in hope that it would somehow
wake every single cell of her body
from the tormenting dreams
that never failed to welcome her
in her every slumber

gust of wind caressed her skin
and lulled her with muffled melody
as she embraced the breeze
that greeted her with relish
as if it understood her undying misery
that she concealed imperfectly
from everyone she knew
desiring that eventually she’d get through
May 2014 · 365
hush, hush
Austine May 2014
my hushed pleas
that remain unnoticed
sorely losing all the hope
that got me holding the end of the rope
that bridged me to you

oh please, oh please
i’m down on my knees
hear me as i beg thee
be again the reason behind my glee

loneliness enveloped me
as my tears found their way to the sea
the sun rose and set
the moon turned full and new
but still, there was no sign of you

i’m at the edge and just one leap
and i’m off to my deepest sleep
oh darling, won’t you be my saving grace
won’t you occupy this empty space
that used to be where my heart is?
May 2014 · 2.8k
cuddle snuggle nuzzle fuddle
Austine May 2014
i just want to find myself staring
at the bedroom wall with nothing
but your chest as my cushion
revealing nothing but our affection

i won’t even be in sad thoughts way too deep
because you’ll be there as i try to sleep
in my dreams, i won’t even dare to roam
because on your chest is where i’m home

we’ll just lie there in peace
who knows, maybe we’d even kiss
i won’t care, really
because with you, i can be silly

at times, i’ll even take a chance
at you, i’ll steal a glance
i’ll trace the curves of my face
that’s reflected on your captivating gaze

i’ll touch your hair with my free hand
and adore each and every strand
truly there’s not a piece of you
that will ever fail to keep me anew

maybe - no, of course! - we’ll cuddle
oh, how we’ll enjoy the snuggle
then we’ll find ourselves on the floor
oh, darling, you’re the one i’ll endlessly fall for

i’ll listen to your charming snore
that solid sound, i’ll spend time to explore
i might even laugh as you audibly breathe in
you’ve no idea how happy i’ll be within

as i hear your breathing and mine
i’ll know everything will be just fine
we’ll create our own piece of beautiful melody
to the lonely past, it’ll be our remedy

for it’s all that i ever long
our own version of a happy song
just let me hold you once more
and i promise, i’ll never ask for more
May 2014 · 698
The Druid with a Cause
Austine May 2014
the night held the paralyzing silence
that smothered me upon my rest
but i was too crestfallen for defense
so i let it take me, take me
and end this triumphless quest

but i was abandoned alive
left alone with only the memories
to keep me engaged with my life
parts of me scattered piece by piece
so i sat there and waited
for someone to take me, take me
and get this body vacated

but no one came to rescue
they said my soul wasn’t due
then you came out of the blue
one step closer and i hoped it’s a slaughter
but you held me and i felt stronger
and to my ears, a whisper,
“life’s too short to wish it was shorter”
May 2014 · 289
two times the fun
Austine May 2014
his words sliced through her chest
as the unforeseen, he confessed
"i’m sorry, but know that i did try my best"

was walking away from the test
what he called his best?
was kissing her goodbye
what he called a try?

her words pierced through his heart
each and every letter tore him apart
"no, please, let’s have a fresh start"

was pleading her unrivaled way
to replace the part that’d gone gray?
was to go on a rerun
get his double-crossing undone?
May 2014 · 671
maybes at 2am
Austine May 2014
maybe
i made the walls weak
so you could break them down and sneak

maybe
i shed the thorns along my stem
so you could snugly hold me like a gem

maybe
i took a step closer
so you wouldn’t have to walk farther

maybe
i swam deeper
so we could meet in the middle

maybe
i soared higher
so to crouch, you won’t bother

maybe
i colored the sky blue
so i’d meet yours that’s of different hue

maybe
i made the stars twinkle
so they’ll resemble your eyes that flicker

or maybe
i was deluded
so i couldn’t have this concluded

maybe
i was cheated on
so to your game, i could be the pawn

maybe
i drank a poison
so i could leave the world at dawn

maybe
i ignored the mayday
so with you, i could stay

maybe
you wanted me in pain
so to my whole being, you could reign

maybe
i just had to find a rope
so i could escape with hope

lastly, maybe
i should just stop this
so i could move on to a new bliss
May 2014 · 398
to eternity and beyond
Austine May 2014
and you’re eternal, darling
as long as my pen has ink
as long as my words still exist
as long as my papers fly freely, unburnt
as long as our tree lives
the one where we engraved our names
next to always and forever
you’ll stay steady, unfaltering
because this love is timeless
yours, mine, ours in perpetuity
until my voice turns hoarse
until my face gets wrinkles
even when i can’t recognize your sweet scent
or when your beauty is already blurry
or when your words don’t penetrate my ear
undying, never ending
all yours, darling, all yours
Still
May 2014 · 341
Overgorged
Austine May 2014
She collected the stars
One by one with her delicate hands
Hoarded them in chromatic sacks
Secured with swords and guns

Piece by piece, she held them dear
Embraced a little too tight in her arms
"I’ll keep you here, you don’t have to fear,"
Said the keeper of all the terrifying charms

Sheltered by her vainglory
And surrounded by her avarice
Kindled the stars’ story to end hastily
Along with a single deadly unvied  kiss

The stars did not even wither
There was only their silent demise
But she didn’t even bother
For her next victim, the moon, was locked in her eyes
May 2014 · 372
be her ribs
Austine May 2014
be her ribs -
the refuge
of her busy, tiny heart
capture and enclose it
like it’s yours
own it, keep it, cage it,
save it from knives
that intent to
make it bleed
the life out of her
surround her lungs
because she needs them
to breathe you in
to devour your scent
to sponge herself up
with the air that you exhale
through her lips
as you two kiss
and be her ribs
for when a length
of you fractures
even the tiny fragment
will bring her pain
be her guard
against any harm
be her ribs -
her outline
her vault
her kingdom
be her ribs
You already are.
May 2014 · 275
Fly-by-night
Austine May 2014
You left me
with lies to back up the truth
and I still stood there
waiting for you to turn around
and face me without your mask on.

I still stood there
with the whole world
I had known crumbling down
before me.

The sky rained down hopes
and my deceived heart
became my umbrella.

The sun showed me light
but I closed my eyes
because I wanted to
remain in the dark.

The melodies hummed sweetly
in the background
but I shut them out
because they were not your sound.

I just stood there.

Still.
May 2014 · 1.4k
the glimmer of hope
Austine May 2014
there goes my hope
climbing high the steep *****

will i get there
and catch my hope
in midair?
will i go far
and be my
very own superstar?

i’ve been seen
by the light
and it has given me
an invite
to where my hope
and dreams reunite

there goes my hope
in my hands it won’t elope
May 2014 · 677
orb of the night
Austine May 2014
did you see her last night?
she was beautiful,
magnificent and elegant
she was surrounded by diamonds
that were overcasted by her luminescence
she was the mixture of gold and gray
and i swear you will never see
anyone else rock those hues better than her
she stood idly in a sea of dark clouds
but still, she shone brightly
with the smile like that
of the yet unbroken,
she looked at me -
her eyes concealing the screaming
but hushed words
i wanted to tell her she’s beautiful
but i didn’t
i wanted to look at her
straight in the eyes that had seen my soul,
but i didn’t
i wanted to hang on to her
and feel her breathe,
but i didn’t
i wanted to hold her in my arms
and keep her there for awhile
but i didn’t
i didn’t because
he who embraces the red and the yellow
will pull us apart somehow or another
i didn’t because
i wanted to have something
that won’t fall apart and
leave as the light scintillates the nightsky
but she knew  i was struggling
to keep myself away from her
i’m still struggling
but here i stay
because i know i’ll see her again
my saving grace
May 2014 · 423
uninhabited
Austine May 2014
I am a lonely soul,
unveiled by promises
my heart has heard,
by gentle touch
that has reached my core,
by whisper of I love yous
that has seized my breath.

I am a lonely soul -
at least, I was.
May 2014 · 611
acquiesce
Austine May 2014
the way your hand
caresses my spine
creating a line
that burns the
flesh beneath

the way your voice -
deep and hoarse
tells me stories
that carve picture-perfect
scenes that
i replay
over and over again
in my head

the way you count down
from ten to twee
to have me encaged
in your cuteness
as you babytalked
before we bid farewell
to the night
and
eventually
to
each
other

the way you sleep
on my shoulder
so heavenly
and the way you whisper my name
as you drift off
farther and farther away
even when there is no
space between us

the way you never say
goodbye
when it’s all i need
to hear

the way you lie
when i know all along
what’s real

the way i never seem
to be able to last
living
without
loving
you
May 2014 · 693
when love begets no love
Austine May 2014
Feather painted with gray
by the unlicensed hand of her lover.
She’s the beauty beyond
as his eyes stared longingly at her.
But she’s weary of the gray
and scared of his glare.
Still he painted until
the other colors decayed away.
"Ah, you were so happy, honey,
I just had to give you a little misery.”
And she never turned blue
ever again.
May 2014 · 613
heartstrings tugged
Austine May 2014
I am jealous
of the sun
for its rays
always give you
hope for a new day.

Of the moon
that gets to
greet you good night
and wish you
sweet dreams.

Of the water
that touches
your face,
your arms,
your body,
and every part of you
that my hands
can’t get a hold of
yet.

Of the heart
that beats life for you
for my heart
does the same too.
May 2014 · 373
astray and wandering
Austine May 2014
the rain drops never made it
to the ground
for you caught them
with your palms held upward
and your mouth open wide
just in time
before they turn into
mud

the petals of your favorite daisy
never reached the soil
for you kept them in between
the pages of your books
until there, they withered

the balloon you bought
remained in between your hands
as you adored its color
and the way the sun gave it
a different shade
and your eyes followed it enrapturedly
all the way up in the air
as you let it go

the smoke you blew from
your perfectly pursed lips
remained aloft
as you finished
one stick
one pack
two lungs

the heart i once had
stayed wondering why
it was the only one
that fell all the way down
while everything else
you held
stayed up and far
from the ground
where my heart
found no refuge
May 2014 · 207
smoke and mirrors
Austine May 2014
you made me believe
that it was our
little secret to keep

but then i found out
everyone already knew
that your lips were
like ice cream -
sweet but
doubtlessly
cold

and your taste
lingered on the lips
of every girl you touched

it was never
our little secret
to keep
yet i still
believed
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