unravel the frail veil -
my disguise from this crestfall
puncture my beating heart
it has no use anyway
take my unsound life
let my blood touch your hands
so i can finally say that
you’ve held me once
you’ve touched me once
i’ve been a part of you
**o n c e

I hugged myself together
After you cut me open
Bandage smeared with blood
That left tracks - beautiful but odd
This used to flow to keep me alive
But it’s now ******* out my life
Where shall I go
When the home I’d known
Wanted me out of the door?
It was sweet of you though
To not let me leave empty-handed
For when you pushed me out
You let me carry a heavy load
Of grief, broken dreams, and lost hope
And as if these were not enough
You soaked my cuts in alcohol
Before you shut the door
Love, what happened to my little heaven?
Did I deserve a shove
Instead of a kiss goodbye?
I stitched the cuts
Even healing hurt too much
Memories filled my heart
With misery and unparalleled ache
I fell in between the cracks
I fell, love, and you didn’t pull me up

whenever our eyes meet
there are sparks that make me believe
we can go anywhere, we can go far
we can soar high and create our own star

there’s nothing i wouldn’t give
to have you close to me and relive
all the days of euphoria and paradise
the life with nothing but your spice

with every single thing i’ve done wrong,
you’re the only one that makes everything right
maybe it’s time to say so long
maybe it’s time to end the fight

isn’t it sad
how you once were
my past,
how i have always
wanted you to
be my future,
and how there
always seems to
be no present
for us?

Shadows.
In all directions I look,
I am surrounded by shadows
that make it hard for me
to decipher the dissemblance
when my eyes are wide open
and when they are sealed shut.

Darkness hovers over me
like it is fused with the air I am breathing;
suffocating me and making me gasp
for the unseen
that is imperative to keep me subsisting.

It seems that my lungs
turn into two small plastic bags
that need to be refilled
every quarter of a second
regardless of how abysmal
I drag air into my system.

With each breath I take
paralleling each time that passes,
I drift farther and farther away into oblivion.

Maybe this is how it feels
to dispossess yourself
and let the phantom take over
what is left of you.
Maybe this is how it feels
to be lost and remain unsought.

Yet even with treacherous memory I now have,
there is still a fragment that fails to vanish.
It is the fragment that remembers
the glimmer that used to keep the darkness away.

The scintillation that awakened love, hope, and faith
that lounged within me.

The light.

My light.

You.

Cheers to the broken hearts
As the lonely in us departs
Cheers to the voices in our heads
As every piece of us spreads
Cheers to the hands that create
To live forever is our piece’s fate
Cheers to the hot coffee
That sets our thoughts free
Cheers to the sleep we withhold
When our nocturnal reveries unfold
Cheers to the people that come by
Who leave with more than just hi
Cheers to the people that are lost
For they will soon find their true cost
And cheers, cheers, cheers
You hope for beers, but no, they’re tears

is this as far as we can go?
are the lodging feelings to sink six feet below?
in the thick of the stars that glow
along the tracks of the train that goes slow
i seek for answers to flow
will the scintillation from long ago
wind up just another dumb show?
or will we be able to bestow
each other with a lasting beau?

how can i ever be
the keeper of the most precious key
to a heart that’s shattered in three?
separated by an outstretched sea
will you ever hear me as i plea
for on your hands you hold my glee?
will you finally come free me
and lead me to a love with no fee?

why can’t i seem to tell
that i’m under an agonizing spell?
unrequited love comes really close to a cell
where only anguish and misery dwell
however way i want to quell
this love that puts me in hell
it will never change the fact that i fell
and you broke into my own shell

am i still going to fight
and hold on tight
even with my missing knight?
my will tells me to further re-ignite
so i could keep the subsequent bright
but will i still find the only light
that will help me see through the night?

Losing control
As on my knees I fall
I used to stand so tall
But with you, I crawl
Troubled thoughts
I feel at a loss
Didn’t my words come across
or did you have them all tossed?
Fractured and frozen
For I believed I was chosen
Over everything that was golden
But now, I’m left broken
My cherished moment
My stolen enjoyment
My love with no current
My heart with a dent

And events happen  
As I please a sudden
Heart and soul gladden
Gloom farefarren
Wheel certainly is round
For my turn on the top is bound
My voice, heard and found
On the crevices of the ground
I am saved, I am saved
From where I hid and in I caved
For a genuine soul braved
To offer love that’s graced
Why, loving soul? Why?
For my every cry
You never pry
Why loving soul? Why?
Deserving, I am not
Of loving that is this lot
Of caring with no dot
Of this connection uncut
But still you stay
Never once did you go far away
For we both can’t last a day
Without each other at bay
You take away the blue
Add each and every other hue
To create my color that is you
I love you. I truly do.

i’ve broken my bones for you
over and over and over again
up to the last that i’ve kept untouched
with each fracture a reminder of
all the dreams you crippled
a dismembered skeleton  
of varied tortured reveries
with its core exposed
wounded and now
ruefully useless

watch as the year dies
its bizarre, satisfied death
for all the times it took us
downhill, farther and farther
from the finer tale
of ourselves

watch as the moon skies in
with the huge ball of fire
necks crane heavenward
will it ever be likely
for us to witness
both beauty at once?
in one part shines the
pure, radiant glow of the moon
in the other, the golden
hue of the sun
and all the blue, yellow, pink
purple, gray and black
in the background?

watch me as i
take steps towards something
i still don’t know
see me fall, sob on the floor,
and get back up
with no other hands but mine
to pull me up

wipe that smile in reverse off of your face
i am nothing if it weren’t for your stunning rays
forget the lonesomeness, forget, forget
your heart has long been out of the net

smile for me now, darling, please
reward me with your one sweet kiss
have me flying high above the cloud
for it is you who finally have me found

the seas - all of them, in fact - whisper your name
and i see your right hand which i should lay claim
as the skies cry with me tonight
cry joyful tears for i have won the fight

the battle against the chaos who used to be me
vanquished when the light set me free
and my light is you, yes, it’s true
the only answer my heart knows now is you

your eyes once were the shade of blue
the way the sky looks
before the sun gives way to the moon

but they are black as midnight now
the starless sky, pitch-dark
oh, what did i do?
did i cause this to you?

your wings, broad and strong
flew me to paradise and back
and to everywhere my feet can’t take me

but you’re featherless now
flightless and short of harbor
oh, fly, please, fly again
feel the wind and fly back to me once more
*
but i’m still broken, darling,
i don’t deserve your loving

he planted his hand on my waist
and it grew vines that
enveloped my heart
with sun shines and blue skies
he kissed the dusts away
and i saw rainbows and waterfalls
that fed the vines with
what seemed to be
everlasting bliss
but the moon light came
and the vines that once
cradled my heart
tore me apart
with the thorns that
pierced me
over and over again
his eyes held no star
to unshackle me
and the sun
never rose
to save me
again

There was once this boy
Who treated me like Helen of Troy
To my euphoria, he was the ground
To his kingdom, I was crowned

From the shadows that abducted me
He fought and snared the key
Chased me, he did
So I could finally be freed

On his white horse, I rode
My hands, to him I bestowed
For I knew his love wasn’t feigned
And for he’s the one who got me unchained

Forth we escaped
As my heart got reshaped
Into something beautiful and steady
Hence he could hold it dearly

Shortly, the darkness penetrated
The castle our love had made
And with his arms as my shield
I was utterly concelead

The attack never ceased
And I watched as my bliss
Slowly withered with every hit
But even with the utmost, he didn’t quit

He said, “If love isn’t enough
to keep you away from the cuff,
then darling, I’d be again the key
that would always unleash thee.”

And with his last gusted breath,
Before he surrendered to Death
He rested his lips on mine
And made our last kiss benign

i sipped
water from the cloud
so it won’t rain

i collected
the stars at dawn
so the sun won’t melt
them all away

i exhaled
the cool breeze
so it won’t feel equatorial

but i touched
hearts and everything
became ice cold