she wakes in the morning to the glow of the sun, hoping that today will be different.
but she sits up and the exhaustion sets in. her bones ache and her limbs tremble.
i suppose that's a side effect from fighting your demons all night.

{KAH}

lol me too

I only have one question
******* YOU WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?

if i died tonight
i'd understand why.
i'd understand why we met.
i met you
so that i wouldn't
forget you

and if i died tonight
i'm sure i wouldn't forget
how you talk before you think
maybe that's why your words
are always jumbled and wrong
how you have to lift up your shirt
just so you can scratch your back
how most of the time you try
to make me laugh
and i act like you're not funny at all

we were destined to meet
just so i wouldn't forget you
and how beautiful of a monster you are
at then end of the day
you'd still be the nostalgia
i want to happen in the future
you are still the pain
i want to feel

I like poetry and cigarettes
I like to pretend there's nothing left
Of a heart, of my beating brain
I like to pretend I'm still the same
Girl you fell for who likes the light
I like to pretend that I'm alright

I like sunrises and late sunsets
I like to place my calculated bets
On the possibility of numbers, pounds
I like that I feel time running out
That my hours are counted and dry
I like to pretend I don't ache or cry

Or shriek, a banshee to the moon
I like to say I'll get there soon
I like to think I'm like Liz Taylor
In diamonds, not a rotting failure
I like to say I still dream of peace
That I'm not insane or craving release

I like lists, planning, and cold style
Brandy and whisky and travelled miles
I like pages filled with art
I like to think I'm still in her heart
I call myself a golden-age fighter
I like to pretend it's getting brighter
I'll say I love these things till I die
Because I've no clue who I am inside.

*© Tara India

you built a city
inside my ribs
then left.

stoic, solid
stolid and bolder
made colder the soldier-
death's hand on his shoulder
and eyes the color
of green flies.

r ~ 8/19/14