She smokes in front of me
Knowing that the wind is carrying my hair to the back of my face
Knowing that I despise the smell of cigarettes when it beds in my hair
Knowing that she will leave traces of her breath on my skin



-LynnAA

I told her that she would love it, because I knew that she would. Was it selfish of me to hope that she wouldn't love it more than she loved me?

"the longest i have ever gone without showering,"
i tell the group of pre-teen boys
who are staring up at me,
"is two and a half weeks."
they're old enough to be disgusted
because they're old enough to know how often one should shower
but they're still young enough that it
inspires some awe among them.
i don't tell them anything else,
just let them believe that it was simply
me being good at avoiding a persistent mother's reminding.
and im going to let you
pretend that it has nothing to do with the nights that i
spent staring up and my ceiling
wondering how difficult it would be
to just--

When the sun is gone,
When the moon is not shone,  
There is always someone,  
Whose always alone,  

When the rain has stopped,
And the streets are wet,  
His tears have dropped,  
He is really sad , I bet,  

When he is surrounded by darkness,
When he is filled with regret,  
His soul and body unite in coldness,
He looks familiar perhaps you guys met,  

He is me...

We break ourselves,
Trying to become whole.

The countless hours spent
Popping pills,
Smoking,
Drinking.
Just trying to fill in the cracks,
Between my fractured pieces.

Cutting
Crying
It was never enough
It never will be

"Stay strong"
I don't want to anymore.
My body wants to ease into the comfort
Of letting go.

Let me go.
Let me drift off
into the calm unknown void

The pain I cause
trying to mend my broken pieces.
Is no use.
I am broken.

Past the point of "damaged goods"
I've been at the bottom of the clearance bin
Inevitably to be thrown out
If only they'd remember I was here

Tears fall,
Blood oozes,
And I still feel empty.

Let me go
I want to give in.
My fractured soul
Can't be fixed.

This secrets been eating me alive
Maybe thats why theres
not much of me left
These words are leaving
a bad taste in my mouth
but i cant seem to wash it away
The skin replaces itself every 27 days
And its been months since I last saw you
Yet I still crave your touch

Doctor, oh doctor
Help me breath again,
Stitch up the lines on my wrist
And paint my desolate brain

Doctor, oh doctor
I couldn't feel my face
They told me I would be okay,
They told me it was just a phase

Doctor, oh doctor,
I feel like death
Everything hurts,
And I don't want to breathe again