fingernails primarily used to pick at ourselves
peel my lip off
bare my teeth
dig out each eye ball and desperately try stuffing each into an ear so i can maybe find out what my thoughts are in there.
open your legs and claw nothing
it's an entire gender of genocide, your genitals need no more claws

twisting my ears to try to open up my brain
it's like the sound of waves against rocks
bashing fists against skulls
i miss you already but i'll always take the pain over forgetting

I think I'm too empty to properly deal with this heartbreak
i'll take it for now because I'm sure a lack of feeling helps
(it's 4:17am, i feel nothing)
just heaviness behind my eyes, weight on my shoulders
I should lose a few pounds,
feel lighter
feel anything

you grab at me, foreboding.
i writhe away, loathing.
brooding, conspiring, a knock at the door.
our love is eternal, forevermore.

explore me softly
with pruned fingers, after a bath
trace my veins, blue eyelids
purple tinted lips
bite my chest, skin
press the bruises on my knees
explore me intensely
explore me at all
we are still strangers, and i am wondering if i will ever become familiar to myself
but i will trace your bones with my tongue
and enjoy the gentle aggressive soft hard touch of familiarity that i've never known

hummingbird lover, set me free,
i want you to be all that you can be.

i want to close the holes in my beak
set me free, let me speak.

i cannot speak when you take my breath.
let me go, lay me to rest.

i dreamt of your eyes,
a pure golden sunset
rising in glory.

you swept me away,
to somewhere we couldn't remain
but i was at ease.

My eyes swelled shut,
to keep the memories whole
when i awoke i crumbled.