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You took care of all of my booboos
Kissed all my scars
But when mental woes came
I was discard.
I am terrified now,
to come to you,
I don't want you to look at me
Like I'm twisted.
Worthless,
I felt like that for three ******* years!
But when it's your mother,
the pain is so much more unbearable than you thought
 Jul 2014 Dark Smile
Maeve
Untitled
 Jul 2014 Dark Smile
Maeve
When tears fall from my eyes,
It is my whole body and heart that cries
I asked a gypsy pal
To imitate an old image
And speak old wisdom.
She drew in her chin,
Made her neck and head
The top piece of a Nile obelisk
     and said:
****** off the gag from thy mouth, child,
And be free to keep silence.
Tell no man anything for no man listens,
Yet hold thy lips ready to speak.
I've never known how to properly end a conversation with you, whether it be a phone call or a kiss good bye. Fingers fumble and awkward "I love you"'s and "good bye"'s drunkenly find their way out of my sober mouth. I never know how to say "fare well".

My theory is that I never want to say good bye in the first place. I'd rather be with you. Though you might be busy talking to someone else or in another room, I want to always be close to you. Saying "good bye" doesn't feel good at all. It feels like I'm going far away and I'm leaving a piece of me behind. I know I might sound clingy and suffocating, but I have adapted a terrible habit of needing someone around to keep me sane. I use to love to be alone, but now I go crazy with thoughts stampeding through my head. I hate to say good bye.

But I love to say "hello". Our "hello"'s are the best. We meet with kisses and hugs and sometimes chocolates. We meet with wide grins and bright eyes that catch the light just right at six in the evening. Our "hello"'s are heart warming and relieving.

The "hello"'s almost make the "good bye"'s worth it.

Almost.
 Jul 2014 Dark Smile
Kagami
Be
 Jul 2014 Dark Smile
Kagami
Be
Be your own hope.
And find the one that makes it stronger.
Be your own love.
And find the one that makes it romantic.
Be your own light.
And find the one that makes it brighter.
Be your own inspiration.
And find the one that makes it into art.
Be your own determination.
And find the one that makes it happen.

Be your own fight.
And be your own victory.
 Jun 2014 Dark Smile
R
We went on a date tonight.
Not the sort of "normal" date considering
my sister was there and we couldn't act as
a couple because it is frowned upon with
my family and many others (not that it matters
about the others)
. But, nethertheless, it was beautiful.
You are beautiful. Even with makeup on, you are beautiful.
With deep copper and black shimmering lids and
pin-point straight hair (unlike your usual lioness curls)
and your gorgeous laugh, it was so breathtakingly hard
to not stare at you throughout the night, darling.
I looked over at you when you had your first tea
(another first for you, I seem to always be your first for everything) and I felt something I haven't exactly been feeling lately,
pure love for you.

I felt the purest form of love for you in that moment.
I watched you as you mixed in some cream in the
"London Fog" tea (My new favorite...Also Sherlocks...Interesting.)
and I put in a sugar cube or two and watched as you sipped.
Your lips touched the cup gracefully, just like they when they kiss my lips. And my heart grew immensely when I realized I was falling in love with you all over again.

I have been constantly in love with you, my love hasn't stopped, and I don't plan on it ever stopping. But, sometimes I forget to appreciate the beautiful things around me, and sadly, that sometimes includes you.
You are beautiful, and I fell in love with you again.
I know we didn't touch much, and I know it wasn't everything you
wished for it to be, but my God, it was the most perfect time
in all of the Universes history.

I applaud you, darling, for making everything I do and live for seem so important... And for loving me while I fall in love with you
over and over again.
It was a Sherlock themed date with tea and soup and yumminess and mystery and it was great. I loved it and I love her. L<3
I know its love, but I just HAD to write about tonight(:
 Jun 2014 Dark Smile
Sir B
To my plentiful nights
Where i shivered
Even with a blanket on

To when i cried
Because i understood my flaws and irrational thinking

To when i forced myself to sleep
So as to prevent further harm

To when i thought of you
Because you are you.

To those nights and more
Constituting me and my celestial being
Emotions, emotions, emotions.
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