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 May 2015 danny
Emoni Jenkins
Heroin
 May 2015 danny
Emoni Jenkins
I can hear her
Her mesmerizing melodies calling me
Tempting me
I sway to her music
Fill my veins with her voice
And we are one again.

She covers me like a blanket
I can feel the warmth of her love
In my secret places
Its dark inside
And I'm afraid
But she is with me
Holding me
And I am safe.

When she leaves
My soul aches for her embrace
I hunger for her touch
I want to disappear
To leave her as she left me
But her lethal love injections
Are all that I know
And I am weak
And I can hear her
Her mesmerizing melodies calling me
Tempting me
I sway to her music
Fill my veins with her voice
And we are one again.

My lover wants me dead
But I have given her my heart
Sealed our love with a kiss
Till death do us part.
I just picked up nine months sober and that chip is weighing heavy in my pocket.
 May 2015 danny
Irisan
LSD
 May 2015 danny
Irisan
LSD
Make me one with emptiness
Boundless time in timeless space
Patterns in motion thoughts motionless
Empty mind filled with joy and blissfulness
And blissful is the nature of one's mindfulness
 Apr 2015 danny
Dionne Taylor
heroin
 Apr 2015 danny
Dionne Taylor
it's difficult to describe
why your body chooses to spend weekends
alone surrounded
by the slimy tongues and bottled self esteem
take another hit
while your mind explores the chip on his front tooth or the sweat dripping off his eyebrow
your body takes the pounding while it whispers in your ear how little you mean and you tremble at the thought of being handcuffed
you wonder if he remembered your middle name
Francesca
or noticed the way that when you breathe in your collar bone protrudes
ill ring for you
The addictive and self-destructive nature of casual ***.
 Apr 2015 danny
missing
addiction
 Apr 2015 danny
missing
if I can't get to the bottle,
or get a quicker fix
made of white powder
crushed from an innocent little pill,
I feel hollow

it's as if there isn't blood in my veins,
or a heart in my chest
but sometimes it's comforting,
feeling like an empty shell
because it feels like nothing could get any worse
 Apr 2015 danny
kaylene- mary
Winter hit
The window panes turned cold
Bricks around the drains began to mold
Frost stuck to sidewalks
And the tip of your nose
Protected by gloves and cotton clothes
I watched your skin fade to grey
Like the trees outside my house
But not as beautiful
The church bells rang every Sunday
And the old man down the block sat in dismay

The veins in your neck turned blue every time it rained
I loved it till the veins in your arms did it too
I could see your heart pulsing through
But those were only the sirens for the tornadoes in your chest

Winter never felt as cold as it did that year
When you started praying to a needle and broken skin
And it tore you apart limb from limb
 May 2014 danny
Tommy Johnson
I’m lying in bed
******* on an electronic cigarette
After having a nice glass of absinthe
Which has left me with a warmth in my face

My father lied about “going down the shore to help Jimmy
Pal-Park install cabinets”
Instead he’s somewhere with I think Jimmy the Hook snorting seven hundred bucks of my dad’s retirement money up their noses

Coke

I’m not surprised
This happens every so often
Always has
For the past fifteen years of my life

He wouldn’t come home
My mom would freak out
He would answer the phone
Then he’d come home all ****** up, exhausted, strung out

Apologizing and begging us to take him back in
And we would


Mom would have me and my sister decide
We we’re ******* kids!
I was nine she was four
And my dad would be sobbing and sitting on the edge of his bed facing us with his inflamed nostrils
We couldn’t throw our dad away
So we’d let him back into our lives and allow ourselves to be hurt again

Not only did he betray our trust and our mom’s trust
But he used money we didn’t have to feed his addiction
We had to put a second mortgage on the house
My mom pushed to get promoted, knowing all the stress and hair ripping frustration that came with it
Even though she’s amazing at what she does, we all know she can’t handle the pressure
But she still carries on
My father is a hard worker
Worked all his life
But that mother ******* coke habit
******* it
******* him

When he went to rehab for twenty eight days
That’s when I tried *** for the first time
That’s when I cut myself for the first time
That’s when I knew I couldn’t trust anyone
That's when i tried to **** myself for the first time
Not even my own father

When we visited him
He looked red, puffy, eyes bulging, wrinkled and long haired
But he spoke of hopeful sobriety and God
What **** that was, he was back at again in a year
That’s when I stopped caring
I went into a reclusive state
I hated him
I hated every one
I hated myself

I began to take a good look at myself and my life
I distanced myself emotionally form my family
I couldn’t take it anymore, the wasted tears and wasted time
I became a mere guest in my own house
I only lived there

My mom always said she’d divorce him when I and my sister were done with college

She only stayed for the money
I think he stayed for the roof, the food and the medical benefits my mom got

And I don’t get it
My dad isn’t well
He’s diabetic
He’s got blood pressure problems
He’s got arthritis
He’s got bad knees
He’s got psychological issus
Rage
Mother issues
He’s a workaholic
He had ******* cancer!

Yet, he still continues to put ******* into his body
Completely disregarding his health, he’s family and his own life and dignity

I hate him
My mom hates him
My sister hates him

I promise, all of you, my family, my life and whatever God or spirit created us all and keeps us here on this strange trip we call life
I will never, ever, ever become my father
I will never forsake those I love for an idiotic, immature addiction

We tried to help him
We did what we could
And still do
I just don’t know anymore

I really don’t
 May 2014 danny
Unrequited Love
I'm not that girl who always fits in,
the girl who always seems to belong.

I'm not that girl who people look up too,
the girl that everyone loves.                

I'm not that girl who is pretty,
the girl who got all the luck.

I'm not that girl who boys want to date,
The girl with so much charm.

I'm not that girl and I never will be...
I'm just some girl that wants to be THAT girl
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