And maybe I was just a fan
Or maybe a girl
But either way
You weren't mine
You will never be mine

*right?

And it was weird
Because I crave him.
In the worst way possible,
I do.

And it would be simply like
Wanting his strong arms wrapped
Around my weak body

Or his lips against the patch of skin just below my jaw,
Love clearly radiating through the gesture

Or his eyes fixated on me like I'm so precious,
Like I'm special

I just wanted to go home.

Home is where my heart is

And my heart is with *him

Playful,
Strong
Bond
Between two people
best friends
they said

And time passed
They loved every flaw
about each other.
They knew each other
Like the back of their hands
best friends
They said

Slowly
He fell
She fell
And they both knew that
They were slowly falling in love
best friends
They said

He didn't wanna give it a chance
She was up for it
He was afraid
Of losing her and their bond
She knew nothing was permanent
best friends
They said.

Until she gave up
And he did too
Their friendship crumbled
To pieces
Without them even knowing


best friends
They said.

Sticking your fingers out,
The feeling of the wind against
the pattern if your skin;
kissing it.

Sun rays seeping through the glass,
Hair flying everywhere
As her laugh emitted through my ears
Like music.

And I stared at her.
I stared at her like it was my last.
And she was so beautiful.
God, she was so beautiful.

And it all came by so fast.

With her fingers now hanging off the bed,
pale and unconcious.
I wanted to kiss her awake.

Tell her I was here.
I always was

I regretted doing it.

I regretted looking at her longer,
And never payed any attention to
Tomorrow.
Because I knew there was tomorrow.

And then it beeped.

The machine came to a halt
And I felt the salty, bitter tears,
Streaming down my face.
My face that hasn't moved the way it used to.

And I fell down
Off my chair
Like a toddler
Getting left alone.

And I felt weak.
Lifeless.
Breathless in the worst way possible.

And she was gone.

**As was I

Waking up,
I blinked rapidly.
The cold space beside me,
Held my heart in pain.

It was where you used to lay.
So peacefully,
So soundly.
But soon disappeared
Into the dark.

And it's been days.

Now I'm here, drinking my sadness away: like I usually do.
And I miss you.
I miss you.

But I can't take time back,
Can't I?
All those years,
I can't, right?

So I lay here
And it's been hours.
And it seems that the hotel ceiling
Is entertaining me.
Because we used to do this too.
Stare at nothing
But hear our hearts beat for each other.

On the t.v they said, they had reported you  **dead

And maybe we were meant to be.
You and me.

But are we, really?

No.

It was a Sunday
A tragic Sunday
It was unbelieveable
How beautiful it turned on Monday
And you were so faithful
During Tuesday
Why do you play me like this?
You know Wednesday is my special day
But then we faded on Thursday
You went cold on Friday
And left me in the dark,
Barren, trembling on Saturday

I could still hear it:
The way his voice
Softly graced the air.
And his strumming
Imitating the way he was
When he touched my hair.

It was weird.

Because years has passed.
Flowers now rained upon his feet,
And letters planted above his head.
His brown eyes stayed hooded
And his lips were caught in a straight,
Lip tight smile.

It was weird.

Because now I see my kids running around,
Another touching me the way he did.
A beautiful house was my dream and I finally had it.

It was weird.

Because now I stand above your grave,
My heart still aching for your touch and love.
He could never give what you gave to me;
Unending happiness
and
Unconditional Love

I miss you, my love.
Until we meet again,
soon I  hope.