Crying Silhouette

Dec 2014

Andrew Saromines

Forgive

We all have habits
Hang ups we turn to when words fade from use
When the touch of another feels false
And the skin that you're in feels ill-fitting and loose
Of addictions we choose, are you the user or the used?
Light-headed from smoking far too many cigarettes
But it's better than the spins I get when your name is said
Her toxicity is met with one of my own
Eroding with every upturned stone
To find a reason to use the air in my lungs to talk to her
Instead of fill them up with smoke
But I don't.
Returning burning bile from drinking far too many drinks
But it's better than the taste of blood from getting hit in the face
A father who longs for the respect of fear
Maybe he hits you because he hates himself
And he sees in you the colour of his eyes or the curl of his hair
Or maybe he just does it because it's easier to hurt than to love
The same way you drink because it's easier to be drunk than to forgive.
So **** anyone who does anything to keep you from being able to live
But try to forgive
Not for them, but for you, to begin to heal these wounds
Because your peace of mind was not built for two
Live while they rue.

#love #father #hurt #cigarettes #live #childhood #drinking #habits #forgive

Crying Silhouette Nov 2014

People

People are poison,
She said and cried
As red liquid
Went down her arm.

People are monsters,
She screamed out loud
As her mind went
Completely numb.

People are trash,
She whispered sad
Because all she lived for
Was forgotten now.

#suicide #broken #sad #death

Nov 2014

Alice

Tears streamed down her face
As blood ran down her wrists.
Lately she had been feeling out of place,
trying to comprehend how her life had come to this.
Her grey eyes, that were filled with sadness and pain,
Met with the piece of metal that had won the battle again.
She takes a deep breath,
As her anxiety kicked in
And all her thoughts became one; death.

She dropped the empty bottle of pills
And, slowly, took herself to bed
feeling the numb and emptiness in her build,
Her bracelets were now covered in red.

The once sweethearted girl
Who used to wear a genuine smile,
Became weakened by the world
And gave into a permanent decision because she couldn't hold on for another while.

She closed her eyes
And listened to the rain,
That began to lightly pour outside her bedroom window,
And started to feel less and less of the pain.
She slowly drifted into a deep slumber,
As her breaths became distant dying sounds over the incoming thunder

Nov 2014

Tina Marie

I saw him today

Huddled in the shower
The hot spray mingling with my tears
As I gaze back
Through the shattered years
Trembling and shaking
I saw you today
I ran and hid
Tried to think you away
I thought I was fine
I thought I'd healed
Thought I'd recovered from
The power you used to wield
You stole my sanity
I was just a little girl
Who'd never had a father
When you entered my world
For eons you used me
You dragged me into hell
And when I escaped
I thought I'd get well
Almost two decades
Have came and gone
But today I discovered
My mind is still wrong

When you're abused as a child the pain never goes away. Almost twenty years have passed since I escaped, but everything came rushing back and it feels as though I never left.

#fear #abuse #why #kissymarie

Nov 2014

Emma

Remember Me

I just want to be remembered.

I just want to hear my name be spoken when I can no longer speak myself. Me. Me. Me. Me and you. You and I.

I just want someone to cry, pressing their phone to their ear, listening through the ringing, listening to the beep, listening to the voice mail. Listening to my voice. Again. Another round. Beep. Just one more time. I’m not here right now but you can leave me a message.

I just want someone to get on their knees, beg for me, please come back; you can’t be gone; you couldn't leave so quickly, so quietly, so young.

I just want to watch my funeral; watch the people who say they loved me, watch the people who say they will always remember, watch the people who will forget me in four months; watch them cry their forced tears over my dead body. We’ll all miss you.
You were always a beautiful person.

I just want to find my name written in the margin of someone’s notebook. Over and over. Again. Again. Darker. Again.
Break the pencil. Wipe the tears off the paper.
Start over with a new pencil.

I just want to watch him crumble; say his last goodbye, say another last goodbye, say it until his voice has grown hoarse and he can say it no longer; I love you. I will always love you. Why’d you leave me? Why would you do this to me? I needed you; I still need you.
I need you here so I can say goodbye. I need to say goodbye.
*Goodbye.

Nov 2014

sanctuary

Pandora

A shadow cast
From where I can never escape
Wiping away every sign of light
Never being bright
Something so tragic
Without a sign of magic
I was a lonely soul etched in darkness
swallowed whole by my own sadness
You were perfect
Something with a huge effect

You were luminescent as always
Brilliant in so many ways

You became this spark
You left your mark
That shed hope for this beast left with nothing
Your eyes that are filled with concern were stunning
Your evergreen glimmer
That matches every shimmer

You came closer
Lended me your shoulder
Not just that but your flames
You ignited this place nobody claims
As you stayed longer
My days became brighter

I learned to let you in
Since when did we begin?

You told me you could shelter my demons
That you were made for such reasons

Now you're the sun
To which my world revolves around
You saved me, my love

#love #depression #lonely #darkness #saved