I don’t remember much of the time
Where I was in the hospital about to die
Awake for 36 hours
But what is time?
When you’re not coherent
Everyone’s afraid you will die

Memories come in fragments
I don’t know why
I try to remember
It makes me cry
I feel like I have lost that time
I want to know what it felt like to almost die

I live my days with you on my mind
Looking for happiness but it’s so hard to find
Wishing someone would take away the pain
I know I’m not crazy and I know I’m not sane

I close my eyes and there you are
Even though the past is kind of far
It feels like it was yesterday
When you almost took my life away

Dear,                                                Date: Today
          eating disorder.

Maybe you were once a friend
Maybe your promises shined a bright light into her dark thoughts
Maybe you saved her from demons bigger than yourself

I know how a person can become so desperate
Holding on to every source of light even if it's artificial
Grasping onto every empty promise
She's trying to feel full but how can she feel full when you've made her empty

I know who you really are
You blind her like high beam lights on a dark night
You control her like a claw machine
You trick, deceive and lie to her
Telling her that her worth is measured on a scale
You want nothing more than to put her in a grave

But you're in for a big awakening

She is starting to see on her own now
She is starting to fill herself full
Full of food and full of love
You're getting weaker every day

Goodbye, eating disorder

Love,
      A body that knows how to bounce back