I'm so cold it hurts to breath
My knuckles crack in the cold winter and start to bleed
The comfort that's in the dark and the cold,
I always feel that death is always nearby
I'm never warm anymore
I feel so empty
I've become so numb to the pain
That when I'm not in it
It feels strange
Death comes and goes everyday
And he's my only friend
The storm of sadness
That's always so overwhelming
Is starting to become calming
My hearts gone and
My mind hides
I'm an empty hollow shell
Is this really my life?

in love with poetry
it wavers thoroughly
to shoot my heart

as it spills the magic
with the thoughts
in my head.

circling through
motion & space

some are strong
while others are just blend
with the stroke in the hand
full of passion, deep sense,
& a soul that craves in

with a purpose to tell
in a different part
of it's message to convey.

Chocolate silk
satin  smooth
every bite
melts within

Finger licking
temptation
but a touch
I give in

Scent a taste
fills the head
feel the senses
reel and  spin.

But a glimpse -
happiness
all cream 'n  soft
I begin

Sweet trail
on the lips
on laughter lines
almond skin

Oh some more
the heart pleads
and there I sink -
in chocolate whim

Often these days, I am convinced that I’m crazy. As crazy as my mother, whose fear of loneliness caused her to transform from her fiery, beautiful self into a demon.  As crazy as a storm that in its chaos rips the roots of trees from the ground and destroys the home of families and sometimes families themselves.
I have the dark and light on both shoulders, my inner devil and inner angel. The devil me, with her knotted hair and ***** snarl, whispers words of suspicion and anger, constantly aiming to manipulate and self-destruct. Then there is the angel me, with bright green-blue eyes and perfect white teeth, whispering soothing reminders of beautiful memories and quiet thanks.
We all, every one of us, have our own devil and angel. Why is it that we allow this devil to exist within us, and allow our angel to be thrown to the side? Sometimes our angel wins yes, but still… until one side or the other wins, we Allow a part of us to Want to self-destruct and cause continual suffering. Why is this?

you cannot unwalk the bridge you have crossed
you cannot unknow the fresh taste of enlightenment
once you have breathed it in
there is no way back
to an illusory net of safety
take courage
spread your wings
and fly

©2016janetaylor

If I was lucky, some people would make up stories like I had a crush on him and He had a crush on me and We lived happily ever after.

But we all know that's not going to happen.

So I'm just going to crush the butterflies. **** them before they **** me.

Because let's be real,
He'll forget about me.
And I'll forget about him.

And I'll go on with my life,
Dragging down a list (+1) of men that happened to walk by.