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imagine five undred tousand tampons
imagine ow much moisture dey would absorb
imagine all de bajinas, imagine the smell they would make.
i love me ganga, it makes me imagine
me wish me wasnt a trucker
me wish me had 5 foot dreads
me ave to act like a trucker
and pucker me lips for me wife
me wish me was on de island
where all de noises is silent
we wish me could dig for diamonds
and smoke all de ganga me wish
and eat dead fish of de road
be broke like a true reggae mon
me wish me was never born
because me never gona be a reggae boy
me hart is as torn as me cloth.
me want to love a reggae woman
and implant me reggae seed.
and grow me some reggae children
and show dem da way of de ganga
me wish.
love reggae.
me lungs aint pure wit out ganga
me mind aint pure wit out rasta
who be in my basement?
da rasta mon who stole me bank statement.
why he steal me bank statement
only jah will know.
me tird leg ain pure wit out soap
me arm peets aint pure wit out soap
soap is da purest
jah supply us wit soap
tank u jah
we like da soap u supply
we do not deny
here id de reggae household
jah.
J
A
H
Me be 'avin a good time enjoyin' me boombastic trailer park home.
Den a tornado of Reggae come rollin' down da road.
Reggae Kids with a Reggae attitude.
Hooligans with a passion. My passion.
Reggae

Da flurry of rastafarianism be tearin' up the houses.
Destroyin' mailboxes as dey 'proach me home.
Den, like lightnin' they be in front of me.

We like you, Reggae Reggie
They say
But we be as poor as a washed up Island Boy
I fear for my safety
So we gonna have to rob you

Me pull out a gun n shoot the kids.
****'n chumps tink dey can rob me.
No way Jose.

*******, bad boys

Life went on.
This really happened to me this mornin'
Me love agony, seen?
Me hate baldheads, seen?
Me love collie, seen?
Me hate duppies, seen?
Me love easing up, seen?
Me hate fishes, seen?
Me love *****, seen?
Me hate harbour sharks, seen?
Me love "irie's", seen?
Me hate janga, seen?
Me love kush, seen?
Me hate lagga heads, seen?
Me love mateys, seen?
Me hate nyng'i-nying'i, seen?
Me love o-dokono, seen?
Me hate passa passa, seen?
Me love quashes, seen?
Me hate running belly, seen?
Me love science (witchcraft), seen?
Me hate toto, seen?
Me love uptown goodas, seen?
Me hate vixxin', seen?
Me love wheels, seen?
Me hate da yout, seen?
Me love Zion, seen?

*Me ******' love Zion
I made a poem, seen? "seen?" means "do you understand?", seen?
Cramp me style; baldheads.
No dreads, no respect; baldheads.
Forget em'; baldheads.
Dem bladheads get me reeeal steamed
Slap da bass right up mon.
Slap da bass down low now.
Bump ya sweet ting a little closa.
I just wanna get to know ya.

Gettin' all blem on ya vibes.
You gettin' knocked down by mine.
Bend down, turn 'round, back it up right.
Wanna puff what I'm puffin' all night.

Me nose burns with wit smoke.
Me body's empty, waiting for ya touch.
The bass is slammin' in me ear drums.
The bass slappin' makes me face numb.

Beat poundin' as I slide over
Boombastic rydems like no otha'.
You da noicest ting I ever did see.
Lemme take ya home. Slap da bass wit me.

*Slap it riiiiiight up
Slap dat ******* bass, all up in my face, you tasteful patty-licker.
Zion on me side.
Babylon on me shlong.
Come on, take a ride.
Island tour won't be long.

Wrap up ya bamboo.
Stuff it down ya ****.
Smoke corking up on you.
Island tour won't be long.

Come on, sunshine.
I'm a bad bwai, strong.
I wancha to be mine.
Island tour won't be long.

Get a peek 'a' dat bumba clot.
So rite, so wrong.
I'll throw my dunsa down in ya slot.
Island tour won't be long.

Get ya cat otha here, ya sweet ting.
Met a kind honey today. I'm gonna givher de "Island Tour"... You know what I'm sayin'?
Nothin' says nothin' like nothin'.
Nothin' smokes harda than somethin'.
Twinkle in his eyes, da room bout' to cry,
Nothin' says nothin' like nothin'.

Mouth fulla smoke, I ain't smokin'.
Room fulla blow, I ain't blowin'.
Walk out da door, me **** feelin' sore,
Nothin' says nothin' like nothin'.

I wanna stay tru, but I'm lyin'.
I wanna stay calm, but I'm dyin'.
**** fulla *******, ne'er da same,
Nothin' says nothin' like nothin'.

Dank fools, comin' at me all hood.
Wish I could fight, cause I should.
An island boy would, if he thought he was good.
I can't believe how ******' high I am.

Ba-da-ding-ding-whooooooa!
Just say no me broddas.
Yo Jaco, are you high?
The ****** Gods be trippin'.
***** be drippin'.
High all day, high all night. Ma boy Jaco knows what's gud.
Here's a little story I tink you'll like.
It's not bout' two shmucks looking for amour.
It's all bout' me, my life, and my big fat bluntz.
Imma bout' to tell ya what Reggae's for.

Reggae stands for peace and the luv in yaself.
It's bout' them spankable honies and big fat beatz.
It's bout' sweet **** chicken and otha tasty stuff.
It's bout' that dank smell of ***** fillin' da streetz.

Reggae's da warm sensation from a fresh beef patty.
It's the chill rub-a-dub sound of dat Marley noize.
It's the Jamaican sun spreadin light on ya gurl's curves.
It's the dutty jammin ya get in to witcha dazy rond-boys.

*My life is Reggae. Reggae is my life
My first post. Hope you island boys preciate ma style.
 Dec 2014
Moist Man
They call me the kush king, puffin' da reef
sittin' on my kush throne puffin Hashish.
Im in my kush kingdom, smoking a blunt
at your ******* house rubbing her ****
I be jammin down da beach
When I heard da pastor preach
"Baatiboys stay far from we!" he yell
"Baatiboys will burn in hell!"
He take a drag from the spliff
He jam out a reggae riff
"Excuse I" I say
"You should be on your way"

The spliff be shaped like a ****
He light it with tha bic
Baatiboy wink at me
His last wink that'll be

I rise up like Jah
I smack him in da jaw
Da spliff be fallin'
Da baatiboy be bawling'

He runnin' away cryin'
But this baatiboy gonna be dyin'

Pull out tha chopper
BAWH BRAP BRAP POW drop er'
Pastor be cheering
At the baatiboys I'm sneering

Stay off me beach
The views expressed in this piece do not reflect the views of FOX news or its affiliates
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