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 Mar 2014
John Ashton Upston
I close my eyes,
and where did I go?
Oh why doesn't anybody know,
Dearest dear, of yesteryear,
How come I still hear the chill of your voice,
In my deaf little ears?

Along a long road,
With nowhere to go,
Oh in life you bet on yourself,
Thinking it's the best bet in the book,
And then you break down on the side of the road,
And you find yourself alone, alone,
And you weren't a very good bet after all,
Alone, alone,
You put yourself there.

You open your eyes,
now it's darker than when you had them closed,
You hate the lights in the distance,
Because you remember when you shone,
Oh it is sickening, leave me here,
Leave me alone, alone.
Along this road,
This road, well I lied to you,
My love, My now absent heart,
My queen now deparated,
Smart, just like all the others,
I lied when I said this road goes on,
goes on and on,
I lied when I said it was a long road.
Sometimes, you just gotta fold.
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
Know it all in theory never practiced
Waddles and quacks
Assumptions under false pretenses
Opinions often criticize
Judgments without a clue
Senseless chatter
Assless pants
Years behind
Broken spirits
Wavering faith
What is proof?
Wasted life and selfish acts
Yeah, what do you know?
072308
 Mar 2014
Cassie Stoddard
to my sister, Karen, I know you just threw up your dinner. Please stop. I would give my life to erase the scars from your body and the pain from your stomach. You are beautiful and I wish  I looked like you. I know. Life is hard and it never feels good enough, but that's okay. It doesn't have to be. I'll hold you and hug you and love you. I love you. I am so sorry for calling you fat when we were little. Sometimes I think it's my fault and I just want you to be okay. I just want you to be okay. You are so beautiful. More beautiful than anything I can think of, inside and out. I love you.
2. to my sister, Destiny, stop pushing us away. I miss you and I wish I could build a home for you. I love you even when you become really mean and I cry and yell at you. You can be honest with me. I'm not gonna leave and I know that's hard to believe but it's true. I would do anything for you. I love you so much. You need to believe and accept it.
3. to my sister, Amy, it's okay to grieve. She's your mom. Cry as much as you want. It's okay. I miss you and I wish you still lived here. I know it ***** and it's hard but I am so so so proud of you. More than you know. You inspire me and I love you.
4. to my mom, do you remember? You abandoned us. And that was the last straw. I honestly don't even like calling you mom anymore, because you aren't. We need you. I hate you so much. ******* ******* *******. I'm scared that you're not gonna be okay if I hate you but at the same time I don't really care anymore. Do you remember abusing me? And trying to **** yourself and scaring me? Why? What did I ever do? I just wanted you to love me.
5. to my dad, i'm scared i'm turning into you. I'm drinking too much and I like it. I just want all the sad to go away and it and *** helps. I don't want to be like you. You're never there when we need you and you think we're supposed to be fine. We're kids! I want to be a teenager, but you stole that from me. I don't believe you anymore. Isn't that sad? I miss you daddy. Where did you go? You're not the same person anymore. Why?
i think this is one of the most honest things i've ever written. i'm shaking and crying and i don't know. i need somebody, but they leave. i want a friend
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
She found peace
Alone
In the dark
With her **demons
3914
10w
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
Permeating the depths through cracks in the wall
The light fades into darkness once more
The hope of its return glimmers

The path to tomorrow is paved with those glimmers
Toward a day when that hope will break the wall
And the future will shine so brightly once more

When no longer remains a longing for more
The glare born in hope is much more than that glimmer
And powdered earth is all that is left of the wall

Light must return through cracks in the wall, darkness can be taken no more, a glimmer is not much to hold onto.
52610
This is my attempt at a Tritina.
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
Tonight we lie alone in wait
Thoughts slowly gaining speed
Solitude breeds demons like rabbits
As blood boils to black
copyright©PrttyBrd 23/01/2014
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
I can see light through the wall,
as it is wearing thin with age.  
It makes it even bleaker to exist here.
copyright©PrttyBrd 30/06/2010
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
the story of her life
is such that it has no real beginning
a child thrown into adulthood
still treated like a child
abandoned and reclaimed
altered and unnoticed
The words were never spoken
no one ever asked
decades pass and they forget
she carries the nightmares, alone
it is time that it unfolds for all
time for the ugly to be shared
and room to be made for better things
now that it is time, there is no telling
there is no tale
beginning where, as a child
at the tragedy, after the pain?
it must be told,
it is her story
but the words won't come
copyright©PrttyBrd 23/07/2010- From Sunset to Sunrise
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
The black sky turns navy, turns blue
It is tomorrow
Today is yesterday
Yet it does not feel in the past
Still fresh, it lingers
It taints the morning with its unanswered questions
With its thoughts weighing heavily in the air
It is hard to breathe
Barely notice the rising sun
Roosters crow in the distance
Cold permeates the room
Seeping through the walls,
Like a ghost of Christmas
Chilled and Aged
Not as fine as wine
More than sour grapes
May the heavy head be cleared with the fog
52310
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
Never have I been the best at hiding how I feel.  There is no peaceful game.  My face reveals the truth.  Never to be doubted.  Nothing left to wonder.  Still, I reign it in.  I stifle my reality in an attempt to keep you close.  So tender-hearted beneath that thickening shell.  The shell I penetrated somehow.  Once you found me in your heart, you pushed with all your might.  Trying to get me out.  I cannot be budged. Yet, I am not free to love you.  You refuse to let me be yours in theory or practice.  You love me, but not by choice.  Fear of the possibility of pain keeps you at bay.  Yet saving yourself from pain has deemed my own inconsequential.  For running from me pulls out my heart.  

Pushing me away
What's best, or just what's easy
Burns holes in my soul


Not one to take the easy way out.  Suffering to love you.  There is no expectation of love requited.  There is nothing but a dream, part memory part wishful thinking.  Hot needles still poke at me, slowly breaking me down.  Weakening my very being with the sharp jabs of stinging words or careless action, or worse...absolute inaction.  I have learned to stop expecting the "Morning Sunshine" or "'Night Darlin'" that used to brighten each day.  Those thoughtless things, the tiny nothing things that let me know I was on your mind.  So far from nothing those nothings were.  Days and nights seem incomplete in their absence.  Weaning to make your days bearable makes mine unendurable, empty, and melancholy has come to underlie all things.  

Joy of love melts ice
Heat smothered by a tear cloud
Threadbare soul survives


Challenges faced sideways leave blind spots. Choices made by indecision.  Letting mistakes be made, watching as they choose wrong. I see the truth and know what I know.  Everything is aligned for my own misfortune.  For as a bystander, I lay no claims.  Anything I do will hasten the inevitable.  So I let the weaning drip down to nothing.  Reluctantly I watch as you disappear with my heart in hand.  I stood firm as you ran away in place.  You turned to me, you needed me, you loved me.  As the clouds dissipate and the sun creeps over the horizon, With the blue sky I turn to mist. Slowly fading to the past.  A ghost of could've been, used to be, and never was

**Surrender takes time
                        Reluctantly relinquished
                                               I will fight no more
copyright©PrttyBrd 7/10/2010
 Feb 2014
PrttyBrd
When I said that I'd be bad company
I meant that only you could brighten my day
The sound of your voice is my sunshine

When I offered for you to let me be
I meant that I would never force you to tolerate me
But hoped that you would want me by your side anyway

When I pushed you aside, however delicately
I meant for you to not want to go
For you to just sit with me for awhile

When I said I wasn't in the mood to talk
I meant for you to sit with me
In comfortable silence until you kissed me happy

When I sent you a message warning of my grumpy
I meant for you to call me
And make sure I was alright

When I said that I couldn't
I meant for you to show me that you believed in me
To help me believe in myself

When I set you free
I meant for you to not want to leave
For you to stay with me always
copyright©PrttyBrd 27/10/2010- From The Ride of a Lifetime
 Feb 2014
PrttyBrd
Tiny pieces of you
Linger in my very being
Burning embers of brimstone
Sulfur fills each breath
I stop to smell the roses
They turn to ash at my touch
At you within me
Particles spread as I cough you up
Multiplying in the air
Dancing with joy
At their new-found freedom

Tiny pieces of you
Rotting my soul and consuming my spirit
Burning pinholes in my brain
Memories burned away
Shadow of pain still sore, still raw

Lingering, lingering, lingering
- From Sunset to Sunrise
 Jan 2014
PrttyBrd
Sacrificial pawns
An evil necessity
in checking her king
copyright©PrttyBrd 27/01/2014
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