Stood in a military uniform,
a costume I so despise,
you stare frankly
at the tobacco leaves
that I scrape the table to save.

The Villain is hanging from the tree
in the grounds that house your grave.
A benign smile
has ghosted me
and still I have learned nothing
about being brave.

The Villain spits on the cityscape,
a behaviour I so despise,
but he does it
to savour the drop,
to fall asleep to yoga breath
and harmonic lullabies.

You stand poised for combat,
a costume for the ages,
still you come to me
through poetry
as I keep filling up these pages.

I wish you heard,
Diablo cries here,

A suspicious lump appeared in the pit of his tummy.
His woman, a professional in training noticed it,
She was also a mummy,
But not his.
A little education, a spot of worthwhile interest told her something wasn't right.
Sent him to see the medical man after a somewhat worrying night.
The doctor had a serious face as he forged forward with his diagnosis.
Orchids are such beautiful flowers,
He had to have his flower stole.
Had an orchidectomy.
Poor soul,
This chap, he had testicular CA.
Almost stole his manhood away.
Gave him a prosthesis, made of plastic.
Like a weird egg.
Pretty unpleasant, necessarily drastic.
The woman, the professional walked out of his life,
She saved his life, but was never his wife.
Now he's absolutely fine,
Alive and well,
After chemotherapy,
and a little bit of time,
No longer mine.

I love what you do to me,
Sickeningly sweetening,
Viciously inviting,
Altogether frightening.

Dying
Crying
All this why-ing
Can I just be alone
My eyes hurt
Hands shaking
All my thought fill this room
One minute of happy
Is all I'm asking
My fake smile
Isn't enough anymore
Tears pour
Blood shot eyes
Don't worry
I'm fine
Or maybe I'm not
Maybe all this
Is my plea for you
I'm dead inside
Or maybe I'm just
A spark
I need a light
Your burning flame
And maybe
I'll be
Alive again

I wish they invented
A sorrow cleaner
That would **** up
Pain and loneliness
Into its vacuum
So you would never
Complain again
About the shattered bits
Of my heart
That I left on your carpet
The day we parted ways.


F.Z.N

We grew up sad kids
learning lonely like the back of our hands
getting used to the idea that loneliness
was normal. It was ok.
It crept into our bones so much so that
in a crowded room the chatter was drowned
out by sound of your beating heart
loneliness became less about the physical lack
of people around you and more about
Isolation.
For a second that seemed to never end all humanity
left you. And now you were not one of them
you were different.
But tonight lets put loneliness away
just you and me
let us, for once, feel like we aren’t so different
lets feel like the sun in the sky??
well, god made it for us.
Just you and me.
For tonight, even if just for tonight
lets not feel “alone”
For tonight, lonely hearts beat loudest in tandem.

His feet was crunching snow.
The dark was thickest,
Battled only by a single light.
The snow crunched beneath his feet,
But the doe made no noise,
She passed,with confidence,through the trees,
For she was nothing but light.
Deeper and deeper into the forest she led him,
And he walked quickly,
He was sure that when she stopped,
She would allow him to approach her properly,
And then,he assumed, she would speak,
And the voice would help him understand.
At last she came to a halt,
She turned her beautiful head towards him,
And he broke into a run.
A question burned against his cold,
But as he opened his mouth to ask,
She vanished.
He was tired and confused,
There was wetness somewhere,
But everything was muddled,
He only thought of his doe.
He was descending into a dark pool,
His head swung to and fro,
He seemed to forget he couldn't see through dark,
Nor did he realize properly the depths of his dementia.
Waves lapped his chin,
He seemed impervious to the cold,
He walked on,still searching,
A madman's errand.
A sliver of fear penetrated his mind,
A trickle of doubt,
A pinch of awareness.
He was fully submerged and wondering at the burning in his nose,
"Where is my light?"
Lo the doe appeared,
'Ere eve of death,
A ways ahead,before him,
Big silver eyes watching,bitter eyes,
She started deliberately stepping backward,
Wickedly leading him on.
He tried to follow,
His body contorted,
He struggled for breath fuel,
For the poisonous air,
His heart skipped into his mouth.
The doe grinned,
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
He still didn't recognize danger,
He was staring at his doe,
Mesmerized,his eyes confused, his face reflecting fear,
His mind cracked with cold,
The surface of his consciousness broke.
He was withered and shriveled,
Falling into the cold,darkness beyond,
Every pore of his body screaming in protest.
He looked at his doe again,
Somehow remembering,on the threshold of death,
Her face was indifferent,
He tried to force his eyes closed,at least look away,
Her face then changed,
A cold,cruel,contorted mask.
She sneered,
Loving to linger, craving agony, she likes to put her hands in death.
                                                                                                          -**Firefly