Who am I?
Where am I?
Where am I going?

What's my purpose?
What's lifes purpose?
Does purpose have a purpose?

I'm falling, deeper and deeper
It's getting darker and blacker
I can't seem to stop it

Where is the light? What is the light?
Can I find it? Does it exist?
Does anyone else know this feeling?

No, stop. Stop falling, please I can't take it.
Where's the end? Is there an end?
Make it stop!
STOP with the questions! STOP.

I can't take this! I'm going berserk!
My mind is running away from me and I can't stop it.
I'm slipping away, and there's
nothing I can do.
Losing hope, I no longer care if I crash.

Let the bottom envelope me like the wrapper over a lollipop. Swallow me.
I don't care if I hit rock bottom, let it happen.

Just as I'm about to give up and let the darkness swallow me, I hear a voice.

ENOUGH! I've witnessed enough.
Open your eyes, look at yourself.
Your accomplishments, your desires, your life.

Bring it back, connect back to where you belong.
Do you want to just let yourself slip? What are you doing?

You have so much going for you, come back.
Is this what you want?
To let yourself wither away like this?

Give yourself some credit, you're better than this.
Only you can stop the falling.
And you can do so, by opening your eyes.

Realize what you have going for you, get out of your rut.
Listen to what I'm saying, look at the good in your life.
You don't have to fall like this.

Do you understand why I punished you?
Do you understand why you were falling?
Letting your head, mind, doubts control you, will defeat you.

So from here I let you go, as long as you learned your lesson.
Control your mind before it controls you.
Or you will keep falling deeper and deeper, and ultimately get to a point of no return.

So, my job is done.
Yours is simple,
Open your eyes.

An overwhelming blast of light fills what feels like my soul and cleanses my mind, I'm awake. My mind isn't racing, I'm not falling into blackness, I'm just...still.

I found the light, or...the light found me.

I'm at peace, and that's how I'll stay.

Those days recall less colors
and even less sense
With longer hair like Jackson Browne,
Pensively reeling in half rhymed ballads
walkin’ like Dylan and shredding our voices
like Springsteen.
“walkin’ real loud…”

When poets sang and singers
Listened, from a freight car door
Waiting on an old white fence
Anything that made an album cover.

My crew was meticulously unkempt,
one day shy of a much needed shampoo
but okay -
we were just 'okay' then.
...Surely for another day.

Our moms were old with
thick rimmed glasses and smoked
and our fathers,
they were smoking men too
wearing two shades of gray
tucked in all the way… around
And around, my dad and I went.

We spoke with twisted lips
Groomed our eyes and looked out
From behind narrow poles
and ***** brick walls
That gave, what we knew of our souls,
This, sorta clandestine refuge.

And our pockets
Were empty, our wallets -
were empty .
Except a beer cap and a phone number,
Scribbled and torn from the corner of
a Houghton Mifflin textbook.
“I’ll call her when I get home.”
Let’s go home.

Sitting on the hood of my Torino
I scanned the streets, smelled the tar
Of our last summers burning.

These girls hugged their diaries to their chest
and we’d gaze
we’d gaze through
Sunlit dust and dandelion fairies
eager to unbutton their secret stories about us,
always about us,
and our eyes made such nimble fingers.

We were outward bound on inward glory...
always thinking about love
hoping on plans that’ll get us "laid" by
a girl who wears daisies in her hair.

Big sweet flowers for the butterflies
Stirring in our stomachs
Fluttering to land softly at the entrance
of her big – sweet - flower.
My generation loved love.

In the depth of our existence, the ‘real us’ dwells,
which often remains untouched, ofttimes unspelled.

Don’t empower the peeps to impose their thoughts,
Be the brainchild of your conviction and you’d be sought.

Books that ****** ideas and structure our notion,
Make us go astray from our real aspiration.

Don’t let the world dilute your soul;
You are a born sierra, not a trivial knoll!
-Elina Dawoodani

ants lean left more than right
it's true, it must be

i read it in Fox News

especially the red ones
that wear berets
like Che

the impertinent invertebrate
arsonist fire ants

who tend to get stepped on
by the man
who exterminates

according to anthropologists.

:)

Hey man listen, it’s not at all what you think
There’s so much more you can do and be
The question for you is, why is it that you’ve stopped?
A climber can never quit so close to the peak

An invisible journey, a growth towards the sky
Like a tree in the field, as the sun passes by
Taking each opportunity, to achieve some growth
A relentless being is the tree, who never cries nor hopes

We are merely seeds, in the whole scheme of things
To self actualize is the prize in this divine disguise
For divinity is, the sight through the dark and cloudy
look around, is what you see a beautiful reality?

The family all together over the holidays
It's always been a happy time
And that
Is really all I want
To feel that pure joy I always used to this time of year
Once again
Without those broken moods
Interfering
Because my inner demons
Have already taken every other joy in my life
And wrecked so many things that should have been perfect
PLEASE
Don't let them take Christmas too

I live in a world where CARE is just a word
I live in a world where LOVE is just a word
I live in a world where HATE shouldn't exist
I live in a world where REVENGE shouldn't exist
Yes, I live in a world where MEN live
But HUMAN is just a word.

We all are different
But why is something better
Why is it we get picked on
Why can't anyone just accept

I close my eyes
I plug my ears
I hide my tears
I cry silently, no one can hear

No one sees
No one listens
Everyone talks
Why does it happen to me

I hung out with the guys
The girls didn't like me
I am but a female
I don't understand what I supposedly did wrong

I'd run and hide
I cried violently
I distanced myself from girls
The guys were my refuge

I grew up rough
I mostly acted like a guy
I know what could happen
I know I'm physically strong

I wear some old shoes
I wear old blue jeans
I put on a guy's T-shirt
I do this cause it's comfortable

I try to smile
I'm nice, I can't stay mad for long
If I do, I feel ill
So I just stay sad

I hide in the library
I fold into myself
I don't want to feel anymore
I can taste the salty sadness and pain flowing down my cheeks

I feel the heavy load on my heart
I still don't understand
I try to be myself
Maybe that's the problem to people

I've thrown my glasses in frustration
I've tried to deal with it alone
I've never known how to make it stop
I wonder if someone has a stop button

Maybe if I just ignore them
Maybe I shouldn't stay here
I want to leave
Is there anywhere that's safe

I've tried talking to adults,
but there is always someone new I have to talk to
I just want it to end
Maybe I should just stay with the guys
I won't talk to the girls anymore

I'll talk to my friends
maybe they could help
but maybe they can't
I don't know

I'm just so tired
I'm too sad
I don't care
I don't have enough energy to care

If talking won't help
I'll just keep writing
Maybe one day I'll get rid of the salty sadness and pain
Maybe I'll get the energy back

This heart of mine
        Has a mind of its own
                Filling in all space and time
                        With its own needs and wants

This heart of mine
        Plays double time
                Brings me close to loves edge
                        Then does what it likes

We need to talk
      I wish my heart would listen
            Come to my way of thinking
                    See all that it is missing

This heart of mine
        Has no reason nor rhyme
                For most of what it does
                           Most of the time

This heart of mine
         Leaving the scene of the crime
               Before it's caught and does the time
                       This heart of mine