I don't need a ******* knight
No shinning armor, your a coward
All you cared about was yourself
While I couldn't fall asleep at night
Stop saying that it was to protect me
I don't need a ******* hero
Why couldn't we have talked about it
That's how a relationship should be
I don't need a ******* dad
You are not the deciding factor
You don't value my opinion
My feelings for you are over
Now I'm just mad
I don't ******* need this too
I have enough on my plate
Maybe you would know that
If you had your head out of your ***
I don't ******* need you
Your a selfish coward
Guess I'm not worth it, to try to make this work out
Wouldn't want to hurt you .... well boo ******* hoo
I've had the ******* months of my life
Trying to act like everythings okay
Not to be a ******
Snap you in between sobbing
Trying not to start a fight
Still cant eat,sleep, or do school but that was okay cause
I didn't wanna hurt you
I always put you first
but I guess you never did
that's why it'll never work
Being around you hurts.. so I cant stay
I'm done
I don't need a knight
I don't need a hero
I don't need a dad
I don't need this too
I don't ******* need you

Should've kissed you
Should've fought for us  
Could've crawled into your arms
Could've taken advantage of the opportunities i had
Would've done so much more if I knew the hell I've put myself in
Would've said yes if you were to ask me again
But you never will,
Besides I'm trying to pretend I moved on
Just be your friend
We used to say "No regrets "
It was our version okay/okay
I'm so sorry you wasted your time on me
There so many things I regret
I'm sorry it turned out this way  
I understand if your upset....
I am too

Dear J
when everything happened the way it did
I thought I'd never be okay
I wanted to end my life
stop being a burden
stop hurting other people
give in to the knife
these past months have changed me
I had no one to talk to
I sat at home
I hated myself , didn't know who to be
thank you for breaking my heart
I guess I had to fall on my face
reach rock bottom
to wanna fight for myself
to realize i need a new start
I still struggle everyday to get out of bed
I cant eat meals
demons occupy my head
but I'm going to live for me now
no longer will I be silenced
or be pushed down
I need to be me
unapologetically me
scarred, broken me
spontaneous me
i need to love me

I want to move on , but you
Always text something sweet
Just when I'm about to
Remember, you became distant
You made me feel
Like you didn't even care about my existence
I get it, I hurt you
But don't you see?
I was hurt too
Your ghost still haunts me
It follows me in my dreams
Why cant you let me be
I wake up thinking things changed
Then everything hits hard
Like I'm a target in a gun range
I'm bleeding , but no one can see
I'm crying , but no one is there
I'm screaming, but no one hears me

Cant you see I need to move on ?
No more mixed messages or imaginary future
I can look upon
Stop following me in my dreams
Giving me false hope
Leave me alone, let me be
I have to keep you on red
Because if I don't  
I wont be able to get out of bed
I needed you , but you weren't there
Now I'm just skin and bones
Gutted , left bare
One day when I'll look back
I'll just see when I gained
Not what I lacked
But for  now I need to move on
I changed your name
My midnight snacc is gone

I give up
Your not even trying
My heart can't take it anymore
I cant keep this up
I have had enough
I can only be your friend
Nothing more
That will have to be enough
It'll be hard to let you go
But I need to stop crying
I have to restore my heart
My feelings for you have to go
I'm sorry we did this
It was good while it lasted
Our summer fling
I never wanted it to end like this
But that's what happened
I cant change that
You cant either
Maybe this had to happen
For us to get out of our daze
Find something else to talk about
Not just flirting and dreaming of our future, be realistic
We were just imagining  " better days"
I'm waving a white flag in the air
I need to recover, find myself
I need to love myself
But to do that I need some air
I don't want this to be goodbye
We are still friends
I'll miss my midnight snacc
The one who wont have said goodbye

I wanna kiss you
but when I do this time I wanna kiss you deep
I wanna kiss you till we are lost in each other
I wanna kiss you
so I can taste your lips again
I wanna kiss you till we forget our demons
I wanna kiss you
while I run my finger through your hair
I wanna kiss till the hurt is gone
I wanna kiss you  
and feel the warmth of your skin
I wanna kiss you till we believe its just us in this ****** up world
I wanna kiss you  
all over your body
I wanna kiss you till you forgive me
I wanna kiss you
while we bare our stretch marks and battle scars   
I wanna kiss you till you feel valued
I wanna kiss you
So you know your worth it
I wanna kiss you till you feel loved
because everyone deserves love

But if I cant have any of these things
I just wanna kiss you one last time
I wanna kiss you till I can stop crying
I wanna kiss you
so u know my love was true
I wanna kiss you till there are no grudges left behind
I wanna kiss you
until our tears dry
I wanna kiss you goodbye

I am broken
I cant be who you deserve
Its a fact I cant leave unspoken
I never wanted to be away from you
You were my escape, you reminded me the sky is still blue
I loved you
Or did I ? .... I feel like I used you
You were the temporary cure to my mental illness
I wouldn't spiral when I was with you
I wanted to make sure you would stay
So I gave you what I  thought you wanted ...... a kiss
To make sure we would be okay
That kiss ruined everything
I didn't realize you got attached
I'm not allowed to date, that's the thing
I tried to fix it
Make it not a big deal
But it was too late, I already hurt you
You wanted to be more
I'm such a fool, I had no clue
You'll never understand how much I wanted that too
I needed you
The rule is : I cant date cause I might get hurt , which in-turn hurt you and that hurt me
Its funny the thing that was supposed to prevent heartache, caused it
My pillow case was soaked more then the sea
Maybe if I ...?
I should have...?
I could have...?
My mind starts to spiral ,but your not here this time
I'm sinking deep in a hole
I know I cant climb
I stay up late thinking of you
My life will never be the same
You were my first love, kiss and heartache
I'm sorry we played this game
I'm sorry
My Midnight Snacc