15 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and receive closure from you.
Let’s vibe out and listen to our favourite songs by Drake and reminisce about the love that we’ll never get back.
How long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes a reflection of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
Was I not deserving of the kind of love and happiness that I had consistently given to you?
I yearn for a reality worth dreaming about, but lately my heart has been paralysed by doubt.
Time is expensive like a Richard Mille watch but every minute I spent with you was worth it.
When my blue skies fade to grey, I listen to songs by The Weeknd and reminisce about you every single day.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and receive closure from you.
Now I spend my days listening to sad songs while reminiscing about the love that I’ll never get back.
These words are proof that I’m still recovering from the heartbreak I once felt a while ago in Hatfield.

14 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I’m sorry that I was never a good enough lover for you.
You're walking out on me to be a good woman for someone else.
Now I’m here whispering to the ghosts that haunt me in my dreams.
I wonder if he knows that you cheated and how you left me defeated.
When my days get dark that is usually when I have my brightest ideas.
I’m gradually battling depression and tackling the fears I’ve had for years.
I’m hurting and I know that I’m not perfect, but the weight of all these words has become a burden.
I've been feeling hollow like the men T.S. Eliot wrote about, I've been feeling pain while trying to hold on.
But how long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes an indication of everything that’s bound to go wrong?

I’m sorry that I was never a good enough lover for you.
You walked out on me to be a good woman for someone else.
Now I’m here whispering to the ghosts that haunt me in my dreams.
Love is blind but clearly that is something that everyone cannot see.
Somewhere in my heart there’s a void, a void that I keep trying to avoid.
I wish that you receive everything that I couldn’t give to you, there’s so much of myself that I could sacrifice.

13 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I’m losing you but you aren’t even mine, you belong to someone else.
I assumed you’d have good intentions for me but that was my mistake.
I assumed; how reckless of me to have assumed the most positive of things.
I’m losing you but you aren’t even mine to love yet you’re always on my mind.
But how lost do I have to be in order for you to come and find me and love me wholeheartedly?
I wish people would never ask about my love life because it seems like I could never love or be loved right.
I need peace of mind before my mind ends up in pieces because I can no longer stand being alone.
I should’ve just left you alone; I shouldn’t have turned your heart into a home.
I looked for love in all the wrong places and fell in love with all the wrong faces.
Maybe in your quiet time at exactly the right time, you could possibly be mine to love wholeheartedly.
I finally understand it now; I’m a hopeless romantic who will always insist on remaining hopeful.

12 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I just wanted to create a few unforgettable memories.
Every night we mixed *****, love, ***, **** and Hennessy.
After all this time, I do not know why I am still longing for you.
Even after all the painful and senseless **** you put me through.
I turned my pain into poetry and I haven’t looked back ever since.
I wish you’d never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.

After all this time, I do not know why I am still longing for you.
Even after all the painful and stressful **** you put me through.
I remember you from your beautiful brown eyes down to the empty promises you cursed me with.
I was a lost boy in my youth and I spent most of my precious time blowing smoke in my room.
I hope you have found a way to finally stop smoking cigarettes and drinking ***** like there’s a message in the bottle.
I hope you have finally found peace, love and happiness in this wonderful city called Pretoria.
Everyone in your life changed but I didn’t, I guess you were wrong about me.
It’s June now so while you find comfort in your complacency just know that I’ll be leaving soon.

11 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

We made passionate love during that one autumn night in Pretoria.
Our relationship had its flaws but we always got high off the euphoria.
Somehow the best part of me was always you, but you’re gone now and I’m always feeling blue.
It was a Friday night on April 1st, I guess I was a fool for falling for you and believing all you said was true.
You may have forgotten me ever since I’ve been away but I waited on you for too many days since February.
Why did you settle for a takeaway when you knew you would’ve had the world on a silver platter?
Now that you’ve left, I realised how you were right when you said that I deserve someone better.
But where is this “better” that you constantly spoke about days before you broke up with me?
I cannot seem to find it; I even went back to Hatfield several months ago to see if I had missed something.
I have been MIA on love ever since you’ve been away; I waited on you for too many days since February.
Or maybe it was May, but you don’t care and I don’t remember because maybe it doesn’t matter anyway.
Or anymore and lately I’ve been zoning out to Paramore and getting high off paper planes than ever before.
Somehow the best part of me was always you, but you’re gone now and I’m always feeling blue.
I guess I was a fool for falling for you and believing all you said was true.

10 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

You and I are in the same space, but we live in different galaxies.
That’s why we could never get along for extensive periods of time.
After several glasses of wine, I realised that you talk more than I do.
Maybe sometimes pain hurts more when we always choose to ignore it.
I can love you better than him; from eight until late he always calls his ex-girlfriend Kim.
I wonder what you get up to when he’s not there; I wonder what you really know about him.
I never knew that my loving heart could get played like harps and violins do.
The symphony is exquisite, but the pain and the heartbreak are obviously not.
I wonder what you know about everything happening around you while you wander away from me.
I gave you exclusive views to breathtaking galaxies, but you still needed more space like the astronaut lady.
I have fallen in love with my own solitude, but loneliness has taken over every single part of my life.
I’m scared to see who or what I have left behind; these Hatfield streets have become so nostalgic.

9 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

Find me somewhere between old and cliché Tumblr poems and filtered Instagram pictures.
It was just yesterday when we were worlds apart when your ex-boyfriend broke your loving heart.
You eventually began smoking again and drank wine and ***** like there was a message in the bottle.
But I can’t judge you for all the things that you did because I was right there by your side comforting you.
I took an Uber from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to find peace of mind and get some closure from you.
All this time I have been hoarding the memories we made like there is a black hole I’m trying to fill.
I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough in the eyes of the people who never appreciated my love.
Within your circle of friends someone knew that you were falling in love with someone new.
But you kept me waiting all this time just so you could let me down like gravity.
I should have realised this a long time ago that pain hurts more when you choose to ignore it.
If only it was so easy to let you go then I would’ve done that a long time ago.
I wanted you to fill my emptiness with requited love but I realised that you were a void too.

8 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

Love, will you still be able to love me unconditionally tomorrow?
I hope you’ll still love me when my heart has been burdened by sorrow.
I have love in my heart, milk in my cereal and honey in my cup of Rooibos tea.
But my friends know I prefer a strong cup of coffee that’s as warm as the love and happiness that I provide.
How do I keep it all together when everyone around me is falling apart because of an overflow of pride?
I have constantly fallen in love with my solitude but loneliness has taken over every single part of me.
How do I keep it all together when everything around me is falling apart?
A wise woman once told me that the only thing that matters is the love in my mind and the logic in my heart.

7 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I turned my pain into poetry and I haven’t looked back ever since.
I’m heavily flawed and heavily guarded but I still remain heavenly sent.
Give me a glass of lemon and gin, unforgettable memories and a lot of sin.
But I’m searching for more than just a new lust, so where should we begin?
As the sun sets on the horizon of my dreams, I realise that reality is not as beautiful as it seems.
The orchestra of my heart has somehow been playing out of tune since the beginning of June.
I wish people would never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.
Give me a muse, a bottle of exquisite wine accompanied with unforgettable memories and a lot of sin.
But I’m searching for more than just a new lust and a temporary lover so where should we begin?
Most of my friends are getting engaged, having beautiful kids, graduating or just chasing dreams.
The orchestra of my heart has somehow been playing out of tune since the beginning of June.

6 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I’ve been picturing skies and oceans that are Van Gogh blue with every hue.
I have frequently felt warm winds on my skin while listening to Solána Rowe.
Moments filled with love, pain, depression and heartbreak are all I know.
That black dress keeps accentuating your curves every time I look around your way and admire your figure.
We must’ve met in the past life because that’s probably why I want to love you past life.
So many warm autumn afternoons have come and gone but I still have a desire to feel your love once again.
Love may slip from your lips and drip down your chin but I never want our beautiful melody to become staccato.
Those blue jeans keep accentuating your curves every time I look around your way and admire your figure.
On autumn afternoons like these, I have felt warm winds on my skin while thinking about you.
I’ve been picturing skies and oceans that are Van Gogh blue with every hue.
I have frequently felt warm winds on my skin while listening to Solána Rowe.
Moments filled with love, pain, depression and heartbreak are all I know.

5 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

She’s wrapped up in white sheets and peaceful dreams.
She gets head on most mornings before she gets out of bed.
There’s love in her heart, milk in her cereal and honey in her tea.
I want to hold her in my arms until she forgets what pain feels like.
I want to be in her heart, on her mind, body and on her brown skin.
Thick thighs, beautiful smile and brown eyes – she is my favourite sin.
A wise lady once told me that heaven is found between a woman’s thighs.
I want to hold her in my arms until she remembers what happiness feels like.
Love may slip from her lips and drip down her chin but I never want our beautiful melody to become staccato.
She has made me question if all the women I have been with before were worthy of my love, time and effort.
She’s a representation of all the beautiful music Sade has created and she’s more than the sweetest taboo to me.
On most days she makes me forget about being the king of sorrow when I eventually stop crying everyone’s tears.
The traces of her lips on my skin reach deep inside my soul and transform an abandoned house into a loving home.

4 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I had you constantly coming down a few minutes after breaking down.
In the presence of clumsy hands, fragile hearts break like porcelain does.
It is summer time somewhere but it is currently autumn right here in Pretoria.
Sometimes I wish that you’d never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.
Love is the highest vibration and that’s why I always feel tremors every time I step out of my comfort zone.
You remind me of the month of August, you always remind me of the calmness of the colour blue.
Like a painter admiring the presence of his exquisite muse, I can’t stop looking at every colour of you.
Love is the highest vibration and that’s why I always feel tremors every time I step out of my comfort zone.
We cannot survive in the world with all these secrets that we have if all that we have is a lie.
Love is the result of all the vibrations of tremors that shook a long time ago.