You changed my life & you don't even know it...
It is quite unfortunate that you are unsure
What about me makes you shy away?
Have I poisoned your thoughts with insane ideologies?
Have I become attached too fast?
Men never tell you the truth
It is imperative for them to lie
You, my doll, just need to open your eyes
He USED you
He PLAYED you
Who did he think he was?
Come into your life, wreck ****, & then act like he doesn't give a ****!
Miss Kitty has been under the weather...
Should we call the vet?
She hasn't been purring even though she has been wet
It was never your fault
Men are truly selfish creatures
Now all the love you held for them is gone...
I suggest we take a breather
It has been a while since we have truly expressed anger
Sit down, grab a notebook, & jump right in...
Upset

Have you ever vibed so comfortably that you ached to be in their presence?
I hung out with ***** after *****
Man after man
Boy after boy
Just to see if I could move on from a man who treated me differently
Spiritually I was broken
I'm never going to say I'm Anti- ***** but I was sure feeling a way
Then he showed up & boy is he showing out
Who told you to come into my life & be amazing?
I look at him & that's all I see
Such a positive soul
Who I don't think is completely open with me
He hasn't lied but he hasn't let me in
It's like looking into a house through giant glass windows
I see you but I need to know you
I want to know all of him
I try to be honest with myself & I try not to get my hopes up
I know about me & disappointment
We don't work well
My brain spins with this every day
But when he is in my face
I just need him to touch me
Fill my soul with the light of his vibe
& maybe, also **** me
I need that personal intimacy
I sometimes yearned to be wanted
That's the submissive side of me..
That freaky, scary, hidden side
That side of me that wants a fairy tale
I wish to be wanted. Cherished. Loved.
Pin me against the wall & **** me like a stranger but let's get dinner after & maybe watch some soaps
I am also a realist
My soul is so old
My years will never catch up
So I spend my time trapped trying to play catch up
I'm learning to manage money better
I have goals to move
I want to eat better. Look better. Feel better
I want to be better for myself
But now that I've caught this frequency
I think I like it a bit too much
But I am going to ride it as long as I can
Little NIK, you carchbheart eyes so fast but is this different?
I understand the love of a challenge but be honest with me
Everything sends a vibration
From the rough scratch of his working hands on my thighs
Our tilted kisses so we don't bump noses
My lips covering his... as full as they are
The feel of his healthy beard which always smells nice
Especially when coming from between my legs
I like how he can call me every day
come lay with no ****** intent
It's all new to me
I feel kind of drunk
Anyone who knows me knows how I love my alcohol
I'm not trying to be too drunk to see.. this is a different kind of personal intimacy...

It's crazy to me how you can be blinded by a single person's aura
It's crazy how you can love someone so much that it hurts to even think about not loving them
You let a lot slide
You let life pass you by
Then you look at the time....
You wonder where it went
Where is all that sunshine?
It this a new season? All I see are clouds
A whole year gone and it still feels like day 1
Until I met him
I was once wrapped in this aura that made me believe I was progressing
When truly I was stagnant
You never realize how badly you've been treated until someone treats you better
It's a luxury
What does it mean to be a queen when you've been a servant?
Is he a knight in shining armor?
A blessing in disguise?
Is he just like the rest?
Will he pass the test?
When someone opens a window and shines light on your world... its euphoria
Every day I want more and more of that energy
I need to be engrossed in it
Even though my heart still cries for her first love, I cannot reverse
I don't want to get attached too fast but Ava has an immaculate work ethic...