*****You're Not Alone****

May 2019

Tabitha Lee

I am a social outcast.
And I'm fine.
Besides all my sleepless nights and my joyful, little, scars
I'm fine.
Besides when society says, " You are nothing", which drops of blood form from
I smile and say I'm ok.
But I'm drowning from the inside out
I gasp for air and yell for help but nobody hears
So I slowly die from the hurt and the pain kept inside
But still, I say I'm fine.
I'm ok.
I smile like everyone else.
You know when you are drowning and your head is about to explode?
By reflex, you don't open your mouth until you almost black out.
Which causes death.
I'm drowning.
And I'm fighting to keep my mouth shut.
Also, I'm a social outcast.
And I will always respond with,
"I'm fine and you?"

#depression

May 2019

Joliver

Okay

If there was one word
One word, isolated by itself
That I cannot stand above all others
It would have to be "Okay"
I despise "Okay"
"Okay"
Is how your millionth day at work went
"Okay"
Is off-brand raisin bran
"Okay"
Is how you say life is going
When you don't want to admit you spend
Every second of it
Wanting to die

"Okay"
Is packed to the brim with
Hidden implications
Like a treasure chest
Filled with bottles
With little subliminal hatreds
Written on tiny slips of paper
Passively aggressively pushed inside
To discover later
As I pull out a treasure map
And try to decipher
Where I went wrong

"Okay"
Is a one word dismissal
That feels like an essay a thousand pages long
"Okay"
Is a poison dripping with disinterest
When I dared to share with you
Something I thought might make you smile
"Okay"
Is like trying to talk to a wall
While watching the paint on it dry
"Okay"
Takes two seconds to write
Yet I waited days
For that dreaded word
To grace my notifications
"Okay"
Should be used sparingly
As if each time you send it
You **** the receiver just a little bit
"Okay"
Should not be said so often that
I know what you're about to say
Like I saw it in a crystal ball
"Okay"
Is not looking up from your phone
When I tell you about my day
"Okay"
Is not the proper response
To "I love you"

They say that the opposite of love isn't hatred
It's indifference
And I can't think of a response
More indifferent to pouring out
My heart into your hands
Than "Okay"
At least the last thing you said to me
Before we parted ways
Showed that you cared
At least a little bit
"I hate you"
Stung less
Than the thousands of times
Over our countless conversations
You responded
"Okay"
Okay?

#love #heartbreak #hate #okay #hurt

May 2019

Penguin Poems

hacked

Got an email from someone I thought I knew
Curious to know what we were up to
Clicked on the link, but it was just a ploy
To hack into my life and use me as a toy.

Broke into the hardware in my head,
Consumed my credit cards, ushered me into debt
Hacked into and manipulated all I felt
Controlled and restricted the hand I was dealt.

Even with my new passwords and new email
The scar of the hacker will never fully heal.
Blamed it on them being the stone cold *****,
But I’m the one who let them hack with a single click.

So I opened a link in an email from someone and my family got hacked so this is that but d e e p lol.

#hacker #hacked #email

May 2019

Anonymous Freak

Comforting Just in Case

I think about death now,
Not in the scary way.

Not in the burning rage
Of hating myself
And my life.

But in the quiet loneliness,
The silent solitude.
It doesn’t burn,
It soothes.

Death feels like some magical
Place
I could escape to.

You know when you’re trying
To spread frozen butter
On a piece of bread
And it keeps ripping
At the slice?
It’s silly,
But that’s how I feel
About everything.

Death isn’t a scary
Last resort to me
Anymore,
It’s a comforting
“Just in case.”

#depression

May 2019

beth fwoah dream

i am stone

i.

i am stone,
a bandaged angel
in the middle of hell
where the lightening lifts
the dark night from its gloom
and stars no longer shine.

ii.

i am a skeleton of flame,
death’s child of an ugly
war, and all the love
in the world can’t change
the past like a rose pressed
in the dust.

iii.

i am the living,
seeing the soldiers come,
and i pray to god and the angels,
on this broken road,
that the darkness is not real
and the angel is not stone.

#antiwar #angels

May 2019

Sally A Bayan

:::S::H::A::D::O::W::S:::

(haiku x 4)

Sun hides...dips lower
Moon and stars deck the dark sky
Dusk is upon us

Lights.....softly glowing
Drawn curtains are a pale screen
Casting drooping forms...

Voices fill the air
Night, patiently hears the moans
Shame fades at dusk...for,

Dark unites shadows
Cicadas join the whimpers
Wind...comforts the soul...

Sally

Copyright February 2015
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

#pain #moon #dark #stars #and #dusk #moans #forms #drooping #shamewhimpers

May 2019

kain

Spring Cleaning

Out with the old
In with the new
At least
That's what they told me

Sweeping up dust
Throwing open windows
Letting in spring
That's what they told me

Clear out your contacts
Delete those old pictures
Wipe the slate clean
That's what they told me

Open up and let go
All that you once were
Rebirth yourself
That's what they told me

Letting go of the things
That kept me alive
Left with only loss
They never told me that

Letting go is hard when you never said goodbye, but I know that I'll never get that.

#loss #spring #cleaning