Sometimes I wish I could turn off my brain and fall dead for 12 hours, when I'd wake up I wouldn't remember.

i.

without words,
boy, caught up in the dark,
brown-eyed boy,

as night drifts,
dark in her clouds.

ii.

a tumbling
star,
leaden feet
sink to earth,

drowning stream...
poured from a water jug
a dark, crackling sky.  

iii.

night's thick opiates
glaze,

unmissable sky
sinks anchor-like.

iv.

slumber-heavy,
dreams carried to the stars,
lost time
stretching like a cat.

v.

boy, sleep sound tonight,
brown-eyed boy,

as night drifts
dark in her clouds.

Somebody bundled
it into a clock
and slung it up high on a wall,

with numbers
like bars between us,
where there had been nothing before;

before,
my days had come open,
open and endless like sky,

but boxed on the wall
there looked no room for all
of the rest of my lifetime and I.

When I recall the things I've done,
my heart shivers and scolds me
for inflicting so much pain...
not only on myself but on the one I love the most.
I try my best to remain stable,
but sometimes it's hard
I'll see something I shouldn't have
and everything floods back.
I'll spend minutes to hours,
just being upset with myself
but then I remember
it's in the past and now is what matters.

My heart aches,
And I love it.
My mind turns,
and it tosses.
My eyes yearn,
to see your smile...
though I'm hurting,
I know it's just for a while.

I was honing my voice
he was building his muscles
to impress our common interest.

Whenever she was at the roof
he was seen doing squats and push-ups
I was heard singing love songs
taking the notes to that high scale
where my voice invariably cracked
and his bones creaked with exercises.

The three roofs became one battlefield
where two warriors would rather die fighting
than give up the princess to the other.

One day she would smile at me
when I would extend the limit of my voice
the repertory of my vocal talent
but for reasons best known to her
the very next day she would feign
I wasn't existing on the roof
and it was all muscles her eyes got stuck into.

Then she stopped coming to the roof.

The two warriors had only each other as company
the days were never the same
for she was married off to have new interest
and having lost the race for common interest
he started singing mournful songs
and I decided it was time
to give voice to my muscles.

tears keep falling
and I'm unsure why
there are bottled up feelings
deep down inside.
This usually doesn't occur
at least not to me,
I mean sometimes I'll cry
but not continuously...
I miss so many
and the past sometimes,
can hit me.
I feel excitement for the future,
a future that has us together.
Now my throat is hurting
from this unwanted weather.