She was a crescent moon never completely lit
She imagined someone out there would find her and strike a match
She never considered it might hurt
This moon hid from most things
She orbited around a planet that was so unfamiliar to her
She knew others like her existed galaxies away
It made her feel both lonely and special.

The moon befriended stars
She sometimes wished she was small and bright and fleeting
But she was large and slow

One day one of the stars started mocking the moon with his light
He would shine right in her eyes and tell her she was nothing

The moon gradually grew smaller
It only looked within itself with shame
Finally, there was just a tiny spec

The whole world burned.

i have never met anyone like him before
he burns like the sun
but the moon illuminates
with his light
he is a drowning ocean
giving the shore it's bounty
he rains chaos
and yet
the flowers grow
he is the kind of heaven
that i would not
mind dying for

To all of you who thought
I took it like a champ
I didn't

I cried like a child
I drank like a fish

I clung to ideas
That couldn't hold up the weight
Of my curiosity
I looked for easy ways out
I begged God to make things
the way they were before
To change my past

I searched and found all my flaws
And tried to **** them
To be good enough
To be what I used to be

I crawled and moped
And blamed myself for everything
While being hardly able to do anything
but sleep

When you saw me
You saw an actor
So unsure of his role
That he hammed it up

Every smile, display of happyness
The mirror reaction
To the true inside death

I was not okey
I was not a champ
I was alone for the first time
Since I was a boy

When the thought of a simple call
To the bank,
Or the doctor,
Leaves you in tears.

When working up the courage to call
Your best friend you just texted,
Or the pizza place down the road,
Leaves you with acrobatic elephants in your stomach.

When getting up on time
To go to class,
Or your job interview,
Leaves you nauseous.

When you sit there ten minutes later thinking
Why does this happen every time?
Or why can't I be normal?
Leaves you feeling like a failure.

Just say "hello"
Nope, that'll leave you wanting to *****.
Smile to them
Nope, that'll leave you shaking and sweating.
Give a wave
Nope, that'll leave you on the floor rocking back and forth.

At the end of the day
When all you can think about
Is how you were so terrified you couldn't move,
Or that you just want it to end and go away,
But knowing that it'll just keep happening

When all they can say to you is:
Just do it already.
Why do you have to make things so difficult?
Get over it!
Can't you ever act normal?
As you learn to hate yourself just a bit more
Each and every day.
As you slowly fall back
Into a downward spiral of depression.