Why an emptiness within
with the summer wind
blowing away the dust

Why the mute tears
we weren't friends for years
but came together awhile

The earth doesn't pause to grieve
but in the heart of hearts
when a good friend leaves
the void for lifetime hurts.

I sometimes, get lost inside of my mind.
Sometimes, I think way too much too.
Sometimes, there are too many thoughts.
Sometimes, it can get really Lonely too.
Since you disappear from my hurting Life.
Sometimes, all that I want to do is run.
Sometimes, the depression can be overwhelming.
Sometimes, I constantly pray for healing.
Sometimes , all that I want to do is hide.
Here in my apartment day and night as well.
Sometimes , I hurt worst than other times.

The sirens blared that 4th of July
Officer Duncan gave Mammy a ride
An emergency dash to the hospital
He’s 2 months premature Mammy cried

Deaf, dumb and blind is what the doctors said
To our mother when Sammy was born
But none of us kids ever were told
Until Sammy was stable and grown

Pappy declared that they’d both be fine
Not believing dire news doctors gave
We happily named him Uncle Sam
Trusting in him to be strong and brave

His 1st 5 months in an incubator
Hooked up to every device
In Newton Wellesley Hospital, 1959
A miracle saved his life

Reaching gloved hands through holes in the side
Weighing just a bit over 2 pounds
Looking more like a spindly ET
I was amazed to be hearing breath sounds

Sam worked on doubling his weight by Christmas
Nothing seemed easy or fast
Still Mammy survived the eclampsia
And Sammy went home at last

Returning a few years later
Sammy’s doctor she would find
To show off to all the nurses
Her son NOT deaf, dumb and blind

I so love my brother Sammy
Always felt like a sister and mother
I’d give all I have for the time
Just a minute more with my dear brother

I’d speak to you of those 57 years
Of the great whirligig you carved with your hands
All the times you showed up for me
Through the good and the bad our love stands

You wasted no time hating anybody
Children and dogs always your friends
Quick for a laugh despite any lack
I draw comfort that all your pain ends

The sirens blared once again for you
The ambulance came, the paramedics tried
Racing you trying to save you
All in vain, in the OR you died


Like Tommy’s rock opera is over
Perhaps you paused to speak to a stray dog
While keeping your divine appointment
By reaching right into the hand of God

Shadows moving down
these empty, vacant halls
playing with our memories
and dancing on the walls
their voices echo moments
that we painted with our love
as my sadness still recalls
that your in the sky above
as melancholy is drifting
in intoxicating wafts
a time when you were here
when we all felt so safe

this time a slow reminder
to live within today
to be careful who you know
and be gentle what you say
as I reach out for you
the shadows slip away
and knowing in that second
I can't buy back yesterday

I can only remember
how wonderful it all was
and be ever grateful
for the ...time
that we all shared down here.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

As you travel into life's sunset before me,
walk slowly My Love.  
Wait up My Love.
I am not far behind.
Following in the foot steps
you revealed to me
as you My Love
walked in the path to a new day.
Watch for me. For I am coming.
It won't be long now til
we are hand in hand again.