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 May 2019
muteD
my alone
feels so
lonely.

like i am a leaf
and I’m just floating.
unable to grasp onto anything.
unable to hold on.
without an anchor,
I just continue to rise
like bread does if you leave it out
for some time.
but what’s different this time
is my mind.
I keep on rising
and a little part of me keeps on dying.

and all I keep thinking is


it’s lonely up here.
Someone asked me to write a poem about loneliness.. with no guidelines,  I tried to write something that she could relate to. But, I realize that the loneliness I’m feeling is different from what I’ve ever felt..  so writing about it, was actually kind of difficult
 May 2019
Graff1980
You applauded the idiotic,
lauded patriotic symbols
above rationality, reason,
and any form of compassion,
then wonder why so many die
and how come Babylon
has fallen on hard times.
 May 2019
Abbie Victoria
Have you ever fallen from no height,
Heard the angels lie,
Broke at babies eyes.

Risen like the sun,
Settled like A storm,
Had skin burnt by the moon,
Stayed awake dusk till dawn.

Then you must find the middle path,
The enlighted way that will last.
Find the balance of your mind,
Worry not of your time.
We must share what we know,
Then A peaceful future we could grow.

Listen learn then go onto teach,
Your mind has no limit of its reach.
Leave behind any extremes,
Moderate all of your needs.
Act upon love,
Speak for tranquility,
To fulfill your true capabilities.
Think of yourself and think of others,
To finally unfold all of life’s covers.

Until then we must witness our own down fall,
Pledge and join him when the changes call.
 May 2019
Graff1980
The questions
press deep in
to their depression.

Sees soft eyes
weeping,
with the secret
pains
they have been
keeping
within.

Breaths thinning
while others assume
they are grinning,
playing and winning
some modern
capitalistic game
of materiel gains,

but these humans
are feeling
deep pains.

So, I ask them
if they are okay?
Each one proffers
hollow smiles
hiding deeper griefs.
They remain silent
as if to speak the truth
would be their shame.

Some stay,
others leave
to wither more
each day,
whilst the rest
burn to ash
and blow away.
 May 2019
muteD
Sometimes I wish I would’ve stayed mute.
Which means I wish I didn’t talk
or converse.
I wish words didn’t fall from my lips
like a waterfall of
meaningless nothings.
Falling with swift abandon
and landing recklessly.
I just wish I would’ve stayed mute.
Being mute appears to be made for me.
My first poetry book is coming out next month!!
 May 2019
Graff1980
He can’t sleep. He can’t speak. He just whistles. The wind works its way through his tight teenage lips, disrupting the subtly silent suburb. Frequencies fluctuate. In the distance a dog barks. Then another dog barks. The piercing sound of high pitched whistling doesn’t stop. Aside from his holey jeans, old flip flops, and smelly green shirt, whistling is all he has. The sound resonates with everything he is.

He whistles with the lost hope of love. There is a soft undertone of sorrow. His whistle is as beautiful as a piccolo. It is more fluid than a flute. Farther in the distance a mournful howl echoes in response to the whistle.

The night carries him onto a bus. One stranger stares scowling viciously.

Another strangers growls, “Shut the **** up.”

However, this pied piper cannot. He refuses to stop. The whistling continues.

        Up and down, it is a haunting sound. Fifteen minutes of whistling while the bus carries him home, to nowhere. Here there is an empty alleyway with a metal grate giving off waves of stray heat. He works his way to the one dumpster occasionally stocked with the days rotten left overs. To some the stench would turn their stomach, but to him it is sweet salvation.

An officers asks him to stop and show his I.D, to no avail. The request is repeated carrying a hint of arrogance and anger. Even so, the whistler is unable to stop. A hard hand grabs his wiry arms. They struggle, another officer joins the fray. Somewhere along the line a foot smashes against his ribs. He whistles for them to stop, pleading with his pursed lips. Steel toed shoes smash his gaunt face. The whistler finally stops.

The cops do not. Years’ worth of rage works itself out on the young man’s body. Inside his skull the whistling continues accompanied by a ringing. Pain singing and singeing his brain, leaves him breathless. This is nothing new. It is no worse than his history. The red welts, the black bruises, the damaged ear drums, and the broken larynx, all the scars from previous violence.

Violence meant to silence. Beatings that stole the words from his breaths. Speaking through the wind was all he had left. A secret language he kept to himself. The dead tell no tales. Instead the wind whistles back at a broken corpse.
 Apr 2019
Butch Decatoria
I’m burning without
Your fire, your kiss I thirst
April full of Rain.
 Apr 2019
muteD
gray.
she makes me feel
gray.
like when she never knows what to say.
she tries to send love
but it’s noticeably fake.
like a cotton gray.
a gray that’s barely gray
it’s just white with a bit of shade.
she unintentionally makes
me feel like
a silver blade.
a tinge of gray
and on the tip
is her face.
only here to relay
that no matter what you do
“you’ll never be my fave.”
she just reminds you of
an owl gray.
yes, you get to watch her all day
watching the droop of her face
as soon as you turn her way
and
she ignores what you say.
almost like you have to pay
just to be heard
because that’s all the craze.
being heard as soon as I start to say
anything that could potentially change
change.

I wish she noticed when I turned charcoal gray.
the day my pain decided it would stay.
the day my heart turned to ash gray
and got blown away.
she ripped my heart from my chest and set it aflame.
then, she stood and watched
as I went from a vivid color
to a sea of gray.
she stood by and watched me
continue to break.
as each tidal wave of pain
wrecked havoc
like a hurricane.
it left me a dusty
gray.
those flakes
she could easily see shake
each time I would hyperventilate
like an earthquake.
she spied as I mutated
into a gray I hated.
she saw life put me in an oven
and she turned it to bake.

and those burnt little pieces?
she smoked em away.
 Apr 2019
muteD
and to wilt
parallel a flower.
I sag,
I flap
and I flop.
but never flip.
in truth!
I am decaying.
starving
because they starved me
and corrupted my seed.
before i knew it
the fusarium wilt
was my disease.
someone could’ve cured me,
watered me.
but instead of
mollifying
they
mummified
me.
dried me
into crumbs of
leaves.
nothing but dust
that decided to fly away
with the breeze.
to wilt is to wither away into nothing.

and to go faint
as in, to become dull.
that whimsical light is
erratically the same
yet never enough.
it is distorting and
it contorts
my colors.
my ambience is
disrupted
by the Eclipse of-
WAIT.
how can I grow
when no (sun)light is
raining unto my path?
drip
       drip
               drop.
    stay.
witness as I go
from this vibrant color
to a washed out gray.
I stood in the mirror
face-to-face
with the girl who wears my face
and I watched it drain.
with death looming over
her shoulder
and no angel in sight..
to go faint would be to wither and drown in my own cries.

and to rot.
all day, around the clock.
I am that sad flower
hiding in your *** .
unable to be set ablaze
by the radiant light,
called love.
so I sit
and I wait.
I rest my leaves
in defeat.
it seems as though
I might be granted this reprieve.
and the truth is I was murdered
long before I decided to **** me.
I used to be
unseasoned.
I was fresh
untouched by filth.
but now I am
spoiled
with mold
like bread and milk.
so beware of the signs
for this infectious malady,
it might be contagious.
and in truth,
a remedy
could be made for me
or so they tell me.
what they don’t understand
is I already tried.
I tried to comply
and I tried to rest my eyes.
yet the only thing prescribed
are these drugs
with the death of my mind
being the main effect,
on the side.
to rot would be to not only wither away but also to die.
 Apr 2019
muteD
Leave them be and take me.
Why take them away from their family?
Why not take me?
Those affected would be
maybe two or three.
truly.
Dedicated to: Shawn Starr..
 Apr 2019
muteD
Suicide never waits,
it just takes.
It takes and it rapes
and those closest to you?
they break.

It’s on a 2 week streak.
Go ahead and mark twice
on suicides line.
One survived and
the other...
died.
and me?
It’s just a matter of time
and all I want to know is why.
Why didn’t he get to finish his life?
Why was it his time?
Why?

I’d trade my life
for him to live a second time.
only because I know he tried.
He tried to mollify
that pain inside.
Yet I could still see that hurt
in his eyes.
and what did I do?
I stopped talking to him for some time.
I didn’t know his sadness would be his demise.
Maybe then I would’ve stayed and rode the ride.
Oh how I wish it was all a lie.
I just wish he’d pop up and make a status like
SURPRISE, I’M STILL ALIVE.

I really wish it was all a lie.
Dedicated to: Shawn Starr
 Apr 2019
muteD
Suicide is murdering my kind.
Those who are just trying to live their lives
and survive
are being tried.
‘Death by suicide’
doesn’t even sound right.
Like they used to be kids with light
in their eyes.
A light that used to be bright.
Yet, now that light resembles the night.
Empty with echoes of cries.
Depression is taking our right
to live our life
and the drugs they prescribe at the time
do nothing but eat away at our mind.
and suicide?
it isn’t a lie.
My generation is losing time
brothers
best friends
and boyfriends
are losing their lives.
Parents are burying their child
all while
suicide continues to feast
on our sanity.
even if suicide doesn’t **** us,
it’ll wreck our society.
Dedicated to: Shawn Starr
 Apr 2019
AMIRA ALWASIF
a woman looking for a tongue!


they said your voice should not be heard
we need a woman without sound
then I asked my god
o lord, do I count?
and he answered me in short
raise your voice and shout
they said we need a perfect doll
walking and stopping when we want
but I am totally tweety bird
so, I whispered: no, I cannot
they said the good girl knows how to
close her mouth
she always pretends to ignore seeing
revolutions in the north
or in the south
the good girl used to crawl
she must hide the bright side of her soul
good girl hasn’t any right
or even fight for her vote
the good girl could not contemplate the faint light
in the middle of the road
they said we need a plastic woman
but, I act like a real woman
so, they cried “be shy”
but, I insisted to fly!
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