in this one the waves are curling into my toes
breathing me to life
with the salt from the air
my hair remains falling onto the shoulders that you've claimed
for yourself - selfishly
leaving me waiting; watching the horizon line for you

in this one we have gone tangent to each other for so long
it is as if we did not even realize
we have only touched each other once

an opening of eyes
immorally structured lenses lay upon the bridge of your nose
fogging the areas between right and wrong
you still seem to find a place for me

you cannot blame me for fixing myself the way i did.
when you told me my eyes were like windows you had broken into,
i didn’t think to touch my chest to see if my heart was still there

it was like when i saw you i could finally breathe,
and i let go of the breath i was holding in my whole life
my lungs escaping the cages they were trapped inside
like butterflies exploding from my chest

knowing you seemed to **** some life out of me
my efforts were a collection of habits that you superimposed to my mind
anything i knew was based around you
the coffee in the morning i thought woke me up,
was really only thrilling because you were the one serving it
drinking it black-
since it seemed to be a reflection of your heart

i can't help but think maybe this time
for the first time
you'll hold my heart instead of my hand
and lead me into brighter days instead down a road
that i am not really sure where it goes

like whiskey burning your throat on a cold day
******* in the frigid air for a breath
just making an attempt to breath normal
feel normal
realizing that their words were the only thing that could sting
as harsh as this
maybe even more

falling on my face seems ideal
although my head will succumb to the pain from the hit
short and painful for the time being--
but this time away from you has no telling when the pain will seep away from my bones
each and every day another breaks
from the pressure of trying to be something good enough for you

one so involved in their own thoughts
needless to say they have allowed it to circumnavigate them
around their life
nothing makes sense